Local Family Accidentally Celebrates Vegetarian Thanksgiving

Maggie O'C:

My Thanksgiving Greatest Hit.

Originally posted on Misc. Maggie:

Lake Oswego, OR — While three members of the O’Rodrens clan are confirmed vegetarian/vegans, the seven remaining family members in attendance all identify themselves as omnivorous and thus were expecting turkey with Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. The turkey was finally ready to eat once the family had finished dessert, a delicious pumpkin cheesecake with freshly made whipped cream. While the meal of sage bread stuffing, veggie stuffing with apples, corn casserole a la Paula Deen, mashed potatoes, green beans with frizzled shallots, mashed turnabagas, and Brussels sprouts with pine nuts and bleu cheese and, of course, gravy was declared delicious by all family members there was the matter of the turkey not in the room.

“Why would I special order a frozen turkey? I wouldn’t that’s why!” fumed Maggie, a turkey cooker since 1989. Unable to understand why an unstuffed 18-lb turkey should take six hours to cook, Maggie fumed…

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A chat with some protesters…

Originally posted on don of all trades:

Hi protesters, it’s me, Don.

Do you remember me?


I’m a police officer.

We’ve met before.

Excuse me? Did you say Ferguson?

No no no, not there. I’ve only been there a couple of times, but never in riot gear.

You, the lady with the black shirt on. I remember you from what I think was your house, or maybe that was your grandma’s house.

Do you remember that time your 23 year old sister swallowed a good deal of toilet cleaner because she was distraught at being pregnant again?

Gosh, I remember it like it was yesterday.

That’s right, I was there with that young, black officer.

He is handsome, you’re right.

Yes, that was me that knelt down on your dirty, roach infested bathroom floor and turned your sister onto her side to keep her from choking to death on her own vomit.

That’s right, I stroked…

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The Cruise Lessons I Learned

Maggie O'C:

Don’t want my Misc. Maggie followers to miss out on my virgin cruise. Not virgin, I mean inaugural. I guess. I don’t know. I went on a cruise.

Originally posted on Dear Judy...Letters to Tanzania:

Dear Judy,

I’ve done it. I have gone on a cruise. When we first got on board I said, “This is like Vegas wrapped in a state fair on water.” Deren said, “Reno”. That may not be true for all cruises but it was for this one.

Prior to our 3-day cruise on the SS Purell, I was very curious about what happens on a cruise as it seems that you aren’t really making your own plans, as you would if you had rented a vacation house and were going to do what you wanted to do. The following is what I learned happens with cruising.

What I pictured

What I pictured

1. Be sure to get a suite or a really good room; whatever accommodation that will get you into the VIP waiting room. While there, read your book and be happy that you don’t have to stand outside in the hot…

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The ill wind that blew no good

Maggie O'C:

The Kitchen’s Garden is my favorite blog and Cecelia has written mourning in her blog today as perfectly as anyone ever could.

Originally posted on thekitchensgarden:

.. was no good wind at all…

Bad news should always be delivered fast I think.  So here it is.

Yesterday when I woke up I discovered that our Old Big Dog had died in the night.   I won’t put you through a nostalgic slide show. He was a good dog. And an old dog too. And now he has died quietly in his sleep.

When I looked out the window at dawn, I saw Boo circling and circling around his old mentor (the one who taught him to bark at cars up to 2 miles away) , then sitting and looking at the house, then circling again.  When I came out to see – I discovered that, under his blanket, the old dog had died. Right in the line of the sunrise, where he always slept so as to catch the first rays of the day.

Rest in Peace Big…

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Headlines: Here’s the Thing

Maggie O'C:

I think this is a good one, over at my new blog.

Originally posted on Dear Judy...Letters to Tanzania:

Dear Judy,

I know that being way over there in Africa must be tough, knowing that you are missing out on all the big news over here in the U.S. Seeing as how we are besties, I am taking it upon myself to bring you today’s news. I have a few daily internet stops for the news: USA Today, NY Times, HuffPost, OregonLive and sometimes the Wall Street Journal. Please note that even though I lean to the right, I don’t regularly read any real right sites. Drudge’s home page overwhelms me. National Review has gone much further right than Buckley ever intended and Kathy Jean Lopez makes me want to commit violence with a rusty butter knife. I like to read what the other side is up to and argue with them in the comments. Yep, that’s how bored I get at work.

Here are the lead stories for…

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Remember when the school supply list was just a Pee Chee?

Maggie O'C:

Great reporting from another Oregonian blogger

Originally posted on Ned's Blog:

[Still looking for that pair of No. 2 red-handled safety scissors required for Mrs. Flunkum’s eighth-grade algebraic lit. class? You’re not alone. As government spending on education has gotten smaller, school supply lists have grown to the size of a Nasa space mission checklist. Never mind that Nasa doesn’t actually go into space anymore. The point is, this week’s Wednesday Rewind doesn’t require a protractor…]

Education Secretary Arnie Duncan promises no child's will get left behind when it comes to getting a Pee Chee folder.

Education Secretary Arnie Duncan promises no child will get left behind when it comes to getting a Pee Chee folder.

When I was a kid, our school supply list consisted of a Star Wars notebook and a Pee Chee folder. The notebook helped us organize our assignments; the Pee-Chee folder was used for entertaining ourselves during class by drawing thought balloons for the athletes on the cover.

Football Guy: (Getting tackled) “Oh sure — run the old L-42 play, THAT always works…”
Tennis Girl: “If…

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A video for you

Maggie O'C:

Dear Judy,
I am reblogging your video to my blog so that even more people can see the people you are working with.


Originally posted on We Are All Carpenter's Kids:

Here is a video for you courtesy of the wonderful folks here at Carpenter’s Kids, Dodoma.

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Meanwhile, just outside of ferguson…

Maggie O'C:

From the inimitable Don of All Trades. Thanks Don, you give us hope.

Originally posted on don of all trades:

I followed a trail of blood up the concrete steps as Deja vu overtook my thoughts.

I’d been here before, just a few short months ago, doing the same exact thing, following a trail of blood to an open front door.

As was the case then, on this night there had been another call for shots fired heard coming from the street.

A trail of blood, an open door and no body to be found.

Just like last time, the person was taken to the hospital by a friend, so we wait to hear from the hospital when they make their mandatory call about somebody coming into the emergency room with bullets in their body.

As I was checking the house for another injured or dead person, I couldn’t help but notice that the house was exactly as it had been before.

There was no furniture in the living room…

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I Am Outta Here!

I have bored myself to tears in this blog, so you all must be cried out.


So after 336 posts, racking up more than 3,000 followers (24 of whom are actual people),  and being Freshly Pressed deux fois; I’m leaving Misc. Maggie behind except for my reading list which I will update because I love lists and it was my New Year’s Resolution to track how many books I read in 2014 and people always need book reading ideas.

I have decided to start a new blog. A blog more boring than this one! A blog where I pledge to write every damn day for a year! A blog that will include the most idiotic minutiae of my life! What sort of weird face did I make in the elevator today? How often do I fart at my desk? Am I still eating and drinking too much? You bet I am and I’m going to tell you all about it!

My new blog is called “Dear Judy, Letters to Tanzania”. One of my besties is going to Tanzania for a year to make it a better place (my words, not hers…she is far too humble about this undertaking, in my opinion). The new blog will be my daily writings to Judy so that she has something from home everyday. I will also post a link to her blog on my home page so you can read about what she is doing in Dodomo, Tanzania.


Duh Doh Moh


So head on over to Dear Judy and follow me so you don’t miss anything. The first post will be tomorrow but you might want to go now to avoid the line.

And if I haven’t said it before, I’m saying it now. Thank you, all of you who have become my friends through fat and fatter. I had a wonderful time and learned so much. I will see you on the other  side blog.




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There’s Something About My Parenting Post

I have been a shitty blogger for months now but somehow people still keep following and reading my blog and that makes me happy and then I feel guilty for not writing. Then I think of ideas and don’t write them. I have a system.

courtesy comedyireland.ie

courtesy comedyireland.ie

I have been Freshly Pressed a couple of times and written a couple of controversial posts. Those blogs got a ton of comments. I also wrote a post on menopause which occasionally brings in new comments. It’s kind of cool that it shows up when someone runs the Google on Murder and Menopause.

All that being said, I have a post that was brief and gave a bit of background on my parenting strategeries. Not a particularly popular post but it is still being read and I can tell from the comments that I finally wrote something with some staying power, some gravitas and wisdom. If a monkey sits at a keyboard long enough….

I wrote the blog I am referring to back in April. It got a couple of comments but I didn’t think it was my best work. Go ahead and read it, you might agree. It wasn’t a month later that I realized I could have been wrong. I woke on May 9 to read this little gem from “Tests de Logique MathA@matiques & de Calcul Savoir-Faire Astuces Tage-Mage Tage 2 Score Iae Message.pdf”

Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for your weblog. You have some really great posts and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an e-mail if interested. Cheers!

They weren’t just saying that. They meant it. They would let me take some load off. And they weren’t the only ones who were still reading that post. Two weeks later, who do I hear from but “strawberry Smoothie”.

You have no idea what strawberry Smoothie had to say. Sit down for this one.

graham cracker crust.

Graham. Cracker. Crust.

I bet no one ever wrote “graham cracker crust” in your comments section! Did they? No, I didn’t think so.

Not to be outdone just a couple of days later, stereomood.com gave me, “hoodia men“. I feel a little awkward about that comment and don’t want to delve too deeply. I don’t think hoodia men is a parenting method. Nevermind. I looked it up, it’s a weight loss pill. So that obviously piggy backs on the whole graham cracker crust discussion.

Things settled down for awhile and then June hit and we were off again. support.ardyss.net brought up the salient point of, “calories in grey goose vodka”. Not salient to me as I only drink white wine and I don’t think it has calories but salient to those who follow the grey goose vodka parenting program. Not for everyone but I think it is gluten-free.

Here (Here is the commenter’s name, I guess it’s like Cher or Madonna) went a bit more in depth:

Are there any campers which use alternative causes of energy for fuel (solar panel technology, chargeable battery, etc. With no Agitator, it is possible to wash bulkier items like sleeping bag, pillows etc. However, you can find specially made machines which have low flow rates and reasonably high output pressure. They find greater used in motors, bearings, and seals that suffer axial play over anything else.

There’s not much I can add to that. Here nailed it.

Last week, Transe-formations ; Programmation Neuro-Lingistique et techniques d’hypnose ericksonienne.pdf wrote what we all have been thinking:

It’s remarkable to go to see this web page and reading the views of all mates on the topic of this article, while I am also eager of getting know-how.

Remarkable. Yep, I couldn’t have said it better myself. It is remarkable to go to see this web page.

I had another comment this morning. These comments all come in the middle of the night like Santa Claus. It’s Blog Christmas everyday here at Misc. Maggie.

Melisa let me know this morning:

I am regular reader, how are you everybody? This piece of writing posted at this web page is truly fastidious.

Now, now Melisa — few people who actually know me would call me fastidious but if you insist! Truly, thank you.  And thank you everyone who still hangs out at this blog. I will try to be better.

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