As you know, I moved to a much smaller home about 10 days ago. It is amazing the shit you find when you move. While packing I found a ton, probably not truly 2000 pounds but maybe, of crap I had held on to for years because I was going to make a mosaic, find the exact recycler, plan a Food & Wine Thanksgiving, mix signature cocktails, the list of what I didn’t do is ridiculous. I was humiliated when the beds were moved. I suppose there are people that move their beds and vacuum under them, I am clearly not one of them. Clearly I also own black dogs, I could have made another one with the fur under the beds.
In the process of moving I also found long forgotten treasures.
I kept all the girls’ artwork from over the years, letters, journals, and boxes of photos. I let go of things that were no longer right for me including an antique secretary desk that my mother gave me for Christmas 2007.
I am a big gatherer of little snippets of things. Old Far Side or Dilbert page-a-day cartoons, the ticket stub from seeing “Arthur” in 1981, Disney passes and theatre tickets.
I also found this little fortune cookie fortune size piece of paper. I remember when I cut it out of a New Yorker magazine decades ago. Now I think I will tape it to my computer, once I figure out where I put the tape.
When I was a sophomore in college, I got shingles. SHING-GULLS. That is just D-U-M, dum. I was stressing out so badly, that I made myself sick with an old person’s disease. That summer I got to lie in the sun and tutor French instead of my usual 40-hour-a-week summer job, just because I freaked my parents out that badly.
Aside: my Dad got shingles when he was the same age but he was fighting WWII. I was just drinking too much and not going to class.
It was some time after that, probably the mid-’80s when I cut out this quote. Time spent fretting about things that may never happen is useless, and you don’t get that time back. If you are behaving in such a way that you are freaking out with worry, stop behaving like that. And if you aren’t going to change your behavior, stop worrying and just shut up.
But there are also times when life is causing worries because life can do that. The last couple of years have been mountains of worry for me, stress and crisis after crisis. (I will address the crises i.e. cardiac arrest, at a later date). So not worrying isn’t as easy as “just stop it”. All I can say is I have been through the ringer since the spring of 2015 and I didn’t get shingles.
Do I talk to myself? Constantly! In this instance, I am referring to self-talk. If I woke up in the middle of the night thinking “I’m going to lose the house.” I would do my best to tell myself that nothing productive is going to happen at 4 a.m. Go to sleep and work on it tomorrow. When you have big worries, legit fears….talk to people. I think if you are worried about anything, sharing the burden immediately lightens it and then you also have a new brain working on solutions for you.
We are going to Vegas tomorrow for reals and I’m manically maniacally prepping for that. Will report on my findings upon my return next week.
Don’t worry. Be happy. Have a home-brew. No don’t, that sounds gross.