The Games Begin

Friday morning I went to pick up Colgate bff,  Laurie, from her hotel and we walked around downtown Portland, ate some breakfast and then went shopping. We went to Pioneer Place Mall and visited J. Crew and Victoria’s Secret (ooo la la). As we were walking into the mall, I mentioned to Laurie that usually there was a silver guy on the sidewalk outside the entrance we were using. She asked “sterling?”

Um, no! Hello Laurie! You’re not in Boston anymore!

A. Silver. Guy.

You know like a guy that is totally silver and stands motionless for hours so people will give him money.

A silver guy.
Portland’s silver guy.

We then headed back chez moi to await tent set up. The tent guys were pulling in as we arrived. They set up the 20×30 tent and delivered linens, glasses, forks, plates and a heater. In the days before the wedding I checked Portland’s weather around 47 times a day. Google would show me the amalgamated (no it’s not the right word but I’m still too tired to think of the right one). Google gave me the, weatherunderground, and accuweather forecasts combined and I would check that one and then each of the three separate ones, pick the best one and realize…oh it’s gonna rain.

I sent emails out to let people know where to park and to bring play clothes to change into after the ceremony. I got this email back from my divine friend AVC:

It will be perfect, Maggie, regardless of the weather!  And if it does dare to rain, it can be considered a stroke of luck.  Rain symbolizes blessings, cleansing, unity, and a new day.  When you ‘tie the knot’ and then wet the rope, the knot is so much stronger then when left dry.  Can’t wait to celebrate with you, Deren and your family and friends this day filled with love, excitement, hope, joy and bacon.

AVC made bacon wrapped dates…one of my most favorite things ever to consume. And not surprisingly, her words of love and wisdom put a smile on my face. If it rains it rains. I will be with the man I love, surrounded by all the people I love the most. I don’t need no freakin’ umbrella!

The tent went up. Tables were arranged for worst case scenario…food and music in big tent. Put up smaller 12×12 tent for the bar area. That was one of the times I wish there had been video so I could show you action shots of me and Laurie getting the 12×12 tent up. Apparently Laurie’s husband can do this on his own but it took Laurel and Hardy 20 minutes of synchronized pacing and lifting and twisting to get it up. That’swhatshesaid.

Laurie is an organizational, cleaning machine. She asked what she could do and I said clean out the two refrigerators and Ta DAH!!! 20 minutes later, two clean refrigerators! Then Laurie and I went to buy pavers and more extension cords.

Derwood came home and we all went downtown to meet Colgate bff, Lucy, and her beau, Rob, for dinner at Clyde Common. I made a reservation for six at Clyde because they won’t take reservations for less than six and I really wanted to take my East Coast pals to a Portlandia style restaurant. I decided to pretend there was a sixth joining us and then act surprised when no one did! Wha? I had NO idea!

We walked in to this bustling hot spot and waited  to be seated. Laurie pointed at a table and said that must be ours. “Why do you say that?” It’s the only open table with six spots, she replied.

We’ll see.

The hostess arrived and turned to a table by the window with six open seats at one end. The rest of the table was filled with a dozen strangers or at least strangers to us. Welcome to Portland, the land of communal dining. The East Coasters were rather confused…”we’re sitting with people we don’t know.” Ahhh, yes we are. Don’t you feel really hip?

The hipness that is Clyde Common. Photo by
The hipness that is Clyde Common. Photo by

No? Well you will begin to feel the hipness seep in once you get a load of the menu.

Of course we ordered the deep fried pig head, not kidding.

Then we went through the menu vocabulary list.

“They cook with nettles? Aren’t nettles things that hurt you?”

“What are ramps?”

“What are fideos?”

“What is whey granito?”

I dunno. I’m having the salmon.

Lucy is a foodie and she got a bit too adventurous and wound up with some weird over-salted pasta dish which she sent back.

But now they know. If you watch Portlandia, it’s not a joke…that shit really happens. And full disclosure, Clyde Common is one of my favorite restaurants. The food and the people are delightful, just a bit colorful!

Had a great night. Derwood and I returned home. I had another good cry about my mother which was part of my long term strategery. If I cry enough before the wedding, I won’t get hysterical about my mom AT the wedding and I must tell you, it worked!.

On to Wedding Day…..

19 thoughts on “The Games Begin

  1. Glad you had a great day. That restaurant sounds just awful to me. Trendy and communal separate I could maybe tolerate, but together, it’d be too much. There’d be a bloggable scene for sure.

  2. Mags, did you think of hiring the silver guy as like a butler’s assistant? You know you could have put a tray in his hand and people could have put their dirty glasses there. Could be rather avant garde, dah-ling. Just a thought for your next get-together. 😀

    Sounds as if you did and are having so much fun and I just bet your Mom and Dad are saying, “That’s my girl.” What great memories! Have FUN, Mags. xo

  3. unfetteredbs

    New Englanders do not like communal dining… haa I went on a road trip to NC and my friend took me to lunch. The same damn thing happened. i was a bit unnerved. I need my space yo!
    funky junk on the menu. What is it with you hippie chics?

    1. Just call it Clyde. And definitely use the “I don’t know what happened to them!” reservation trick. What are they gonna do? Although you live in NYC and I hear they won’t seat you if everyone isn’t present.

  4. Nic

    I feel like I’M getting married, this is so exciting. AVC’s note re: rain was perfection, as is bacon, as is preventative crying! Congrats and YAY!!!

  5. That restaurant looks amazing, both in the true sense and the hysterical sense. My boyfriend lived in Portland for a few months, and when we watched Portlandia he would just laugh and laugh because that shit is so true.

  6. Oh my god, Maggie, I had a dream last night that you published a book! I think it was a collection of Maggie stories and isms from your blog but I can’t be certain. And on the front cover you had no surname, just “Maggie”, because everyone knew you as that from your blog. Also in my dreams the Kids in the Hall were doing new television episodes but hadn’t aged and my sister had a tatoo. I clearly had an overactive imagination last night.

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