Saturday was a beautiful day in Portland. It was one of those days that if someone asked, “Hey, where’s Portland?” Someone else would answer, “Oh, they went outside.” If you knew anyone that would even care to have that sort of discussion. Saturday was also the day I set aside to go to Popina. Popina is a bathing suit store. I had lined up my pal AVC to come with me but she messaged that she was under the weather and might have pink eye. (Feel better Ame!) While I am very sorry that my friend who I haven’t seen in too long, is under the weather; her condition also had a serious impact on me.
It meant I would have to go try on bathing suits by myself.
I often cry when I have to try on bathing suits. Or I steel myself, knowing it will be awful and I will have to try on the most giant top to fit the girls in. BUT! a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do and me and my girls are goin’ to the Caribbean on the 6th so I am getting a goddam swimsuit!
I have gone tanning twice in preparation for the trip and in keeping with a tenet: tan fat is better than white fat. Now I had to take my tan fat to Popina ALONE and try on bathing suits. Hopefully without crying.
Upon entering Popina, a very young, tall, and very thin, very Portlandia girl asked if I needed help finding anything. I marched right up to her and said “Yes I do. I need a bathing suit that fits these” and pointed at my chest. She took me to the big boob section and told me to try on whatever I liked and let her know. I picked out a half dozen tops and went to the dressing room.
Aside: they serve beer at Popina. Free, for while you are shopping. Who in their right mind wants beer when trying on bathing suits? Add to that gut while voluntarily humiliating yourself? At any rate, I said No thank you.
First top: Nope and it looks like we are heading for a grueling bathing suit experience. Wait! Next one is too big! The one after that is super cute and quite a boobalanche. The next one is DAR — LING!
Ermergerd!
Portlandia Girl brings me the three different bottoms that go with the top. I find one that I really like and stand there looking in the mirror at my self in a bathing suit. In a 2-piece bathing suit. It’s not RihannaWear but it’s cute! I’m not going to make the cover of a magazine but not bad. NOT. BAD. And comfy!
I did a happy dance in the Popina bathing suit shop dressing room and THAT folks is a Middle Aged Woman Shopping Miracle.
I’m not going to make any promises but I might allow a photo of me to be taken in the Miracle suit and I might show it to you but I’d probably have to have some beer first.
Loved this. I hate shopping for bathing suits.
Thank you! Popina is on line, too. They are the best bathing suit experience ever!
Yay! And now to enjoy the miracle in the Caribbean. Have fun, Maggie! 😉 xoxoM
Thanks M! I am so excited, I’ve never been down there!
Cute suit, Maggie and have fun on the islands, mon. Perfect time to get away to all that warmth.
Thanks Brig. We haven’t had a very severe winter but I’m still really excited to be warm!!!
Cute suit. Two pieces? You must be a hottie.
I am. That is what people always say, “Maggie? Oh, she’s a hottie.” hahahaha
Indeed you bikini babolicious beauty
Loved this post! I’m with you, who wants to add a beer gut to the already horrific experience of bathing suit shopping?! No matter age or size, trying on suits seems to be unpleasant for all of us, which is what makes the post so relatable. That and it was a lighthearted, funny piece that I thoroughly enjoyed. A++ And cute suit!! 🙂
Thank you so much! The beer thing remains puzzling to me.
Cute suit, cute post!
(Amazed about the beer thing, oh my gosh!)
Thanks and right?!
I’d probably drink the beer because I hate trying on clothes. I just buy them and hope for the best, which usually works out for most things, except jeans. Which is probably why I only have 1 pair of jeans and every time I put them on I pray they still fit and haven’t developed holes anywhere indecent.
I’m so with you. I wouldn’t drink the beer because that would lower my emotional defenses and I need those because I HATE trying on clothes.
I go through periods where I buy ALL my clothes for a year from one brand (right now it’s Gap). I swear places periodically change up their sizes and pants in one store that fit me perfectly last season are now totally off. You’re so right about emotional defenses being necessary.
Nice suit. This post reminds me of why I’m grateful that I never learned how to swim. But I could get a gold medal in quaffing suds.
Everyone needs a skill 🙂
Love it! Have so much fun! And yes, pictures. BTW I would probably have a beer while buying a bathing suit. Well that is if i didn’t just grab one and buy like i usually do.
You have a very brave shopping philosophy. There will be pictures. xoxoxox
Very Cute suit! I love stores that wrap your purchases in tissue paper. That’s a fading custom; ‘specially up here in nowhere land.
Thanks Mary! It is the best store and the tissue paper is even cute with little vintage swimmer ladies on it.
Back in school, I’m doing so much legrnina.
Reblogged this on iLuvSucre and commented:
This meme is my life right now lmfao!
Thank you for the reblog! I think I post that meme every year around this time 🙂
Just new to blogging but inspired by your blog that my challenge of returning to yoga at 46 may result in actually wanting to wear a swimsuit not from the Victorian aged
Ps my blog is oldfogiyogi ease let me know what you think!
I am a 21 year old male (if that makes a difference) and for the last ten minutes I have enjoyed your posts. Thanks for being genuinely light hearted.
I LOVE that!!! I like to reach across generations in the timelessness of my posts.
I am new to blogging as well and you are just hilarious! I am having a blast reading your posts. Cute bathing suit! 🙂