Tag Archives: lists

My 5×5

Thanks to Carrie Rubin for posting her list and for Benzeknees for having the idea.  I don’t have blogger’s block, I’m just a lazy blogger. I’m always writing blogs in my head but can’t be bothered to actually type them out. HOWEVER, I cannot resist a good list opportunity. Here is my 5×5 list blog.

5 Things I am Passionate About

  • Good manners (Spaldinggetyourfootofftheboat)
  • Good grammar (or should I say well grammar?)
  • Fundraising
  • Food (Please see list of Things I Say A Lot below)
  • My shows

5 Things I Would Like to Do Before I Die

  • Meet my grandchildren (I need to live for a few more decades because there is no way I want any now)
  • See Annie in a movie. (My daughter, I have seen the movie Annie)
  • Go to Italy with Derwood
  • Live in Gearhart
  • Go to Ireland with anyone who wants to go

5 Things I Say A Lot

  • I’m fat
  • Fuck
  • Fuck, I’m fat
  • Drive up!
  • Will you get some wine while you’re at the store?

5 Books or Magazines I Have Read Lately (More details on my reading list page)

  • March
  • Wiseguy
  • Andersonville
  • Cooking Light (no, I’m not)
  • Colgate Scene

5 Favorite Movies

  • Parent Trap (the original although the second one is okay but not a favorite)
  • Lost in Translation
  • Dallas Buyer’s Club (Oscar post is tomorrow!)
  • Philadelphia Story
  • Gone with the Wind (duh)

What do you think? If you want to do this, and of course you do, be sure to include a link to Benzeknees original post!

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What Can I Doooo???

I couldn’t think of anything to write yesterday.

In a few months, I will turn 48 which is two years away from 50. I went to a good university so I can do math just like that, in my head…Bam! 48 + 2 = 50.  Yeah, I did that.

I looked on-line for lists of things you or I should do before we turn 50 but they didn’t appeal to me.  I decided to look at lists of what people should do before they are 20 or 21. I would think that I would have better luck with those sorts of lists because I turned 20 and 21 successfully and successively….whoahahahoh! See what I did there?! Once again, Colgate University, thank you very much!

Here’s a list of things to do before you turn 20 which I found on the Huffingtonpost.com

  • Epic kiss – Check, but kissing me is Epic so that’s an easy one.
  • Road trip – I have a really disturbing funny road trip story from college which I will tell when my kids are out of college and cannot be influenced by my youthful behavior.
  • Try a food you can’t pronounce – I doubt I did that by 20 or 21 but I regularly eat Bippity Boppity Boop, which Koreans call Bim Bum Bap and I can’t pronounce that correctly. Just noticing…what is it with me and the Koreans?
  • Record a cover of your favorite song and post it on YouTube – There was no YouTube then. I work with a girl who when I told her my first job out of college was before there was internet, responded, “Oh you mean like AOL, like dial-up?” No, no interwebs at all of any kind. So I couldn’t record my favorite song and post it on YouTube. You’re welcome.
  • Go skinny dipping – Yep, I believe it was in a pond on the Babson College campus. Laurie, help me out here.
  • Participate in a flash mob – wha? No. No Interwebs. No Flash mobs.
  • Fall in love and get your heart broken – uh, yeah. I was an absolute pro at that. I was the Liz Taylor of falling in love but not getting married and not getting rich while doing it.
  • Sleep under the stars for one night – Check. But Elvis died that weekend so I never did it again.
  • Pull a fun all-nighter – Does DKE till Dawn count?
  • Go electronics free for 24 hours – 24 hours?! Pshaw! I went for years! Decades!!
  • Vote — I miss going to vote. Oregon is entirely vote by mail which isn’t as much fun. I’d like a hanging chad or two. And seriously, vote. We are free to vote. Don’t insult those in countries who aren’t allowed to vote by not taking part in this privilege.
  • Have a meaningful conversation with a stranger – I try but they start crying and run back to their parents.
  • Get a passport and take it somewhere — I need a new passport.
  • Learn to play a song on an instrument — I’ll just sing and Kitty will play back up on the recorder.
  • Get a job. Any job.  Be prepared!!! This is what the article wrote after this To Do before you are 21. I didn’t write this.   “Even if you can’t stand your summer job at the mall, the experience of having responsibility to an employer and making your own money is an essential part of the passage to adulthood. For better or for worse, your first job is something you’ll never forget — so don’t wait until you’re out of college to get one.”  Are you shitting me??? This is what is wrong with our society today. Even if you don’t like your summer job at the mall. If you don’t like it tough shit, work! Learn to work! Where are your parents?! Get a job! And I know this economy isn’t made for that but babysit, mow lawns, caddy, paint fences, I’ll give you something to do for $10/hour.
  • Write a love letter to yourself and open it 10 years later. — I don’t know about the love letter part but maybe just a letter. This is part of the need to give yourself self-esteem. Go earn your self-esteem. Get a job and get off my lawn!
  • Learn to have a basic conversation in a foreign language –or at least how to order beer.
  • Dance in the rain.  – uh, ok.
  • Go to movie or dinner by yourself. — I love going to the movies alone. That dining part is just crazy talk and I won’t have it. Please read here and here for more information on my one-woman crusade against dining alone.
  • Learn to cook your favorite meal — This is solid advice.

The following list came up from a Google search and it was written years ago by a 13-year-old girl, I can’t find her name or a website or anything but I love it.

  • Go sky-diving off of an airplane with my best friend
  • Become a star in at least one Broadway musical or play (I love musicals…ahh…)
  • Go on a safari in the African plains
  • Fall in (true) love at least once
  • Be in a garage band…heheh
  • Have one of my horror novels published
  • Try calamari and sushi
  • See the sun set in California
  • Visit Tokyo, in Japan (How cute is that? As opposed to Tokyo, Oklahoma!)
  • Sleep under the stars on a beach
  • Go white water rafting
  • and…this one is complete; accept myself for who I am. I’ve finally done that, since my ED recovery, and I’m very happy about it. During my ED I was not intersted in anything but food, but now I’m interested in writing potery and my novels, movies, film-making, and most importantly – enjoying life and living to the fullest. I want to make the most of my life, and I think now I’ll finally be able to start.

I hope she still accepts herself for who she is and has checked a few of these off her to do list.

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Here it is, the list of all the things I HAVE done. I have done half of the things from the original list. My life isn’t that exciting and I’m not particularly brave as you know from the Wouldn’t Be Prudent List. My point being… whoever wrote this list really should aim higher.

100 Things To Do That Make Life Exciting, Fulfilling or Better Than the Lives of People Who Haven’t Done These Things.

The “Been There Done That” Edition.

  1. Sleep under the stars – Back in the old days before my family had central air conditioning, we would sleep on the patio furniture out on the deck when it was really hot.
  2. Visit Hawaii — check (and for the record, my visits to Hawaii have been in person).
  3. Watch a meteor shower – I did this the last time I went camping.  In 1977, I went camping on Mt. Washington. I returned home to the news that Elvis had died. I haven’t gone camping since then due to my concern for the well-being of cultural icons.
  4. Give more than you can afford to a charity – My ex-husband was no stranger to bidding against himself at school auctions or buying things by accident when he thought he was just “bidding them up”. Once he spent $900 on a wine collection. I don’t need no freakin’ wine collection, I’ll drink vinegar and I wanted the mosaic garden pillars!
  5. Go to Disneyland/DisneyworldPictures from Disneyland contributed to the creation of this blog.
  6. Climb a mountain – I don’t think I climbed all the way to the top of Mt. Washington but some of it, I had to see the meteor shower.
  7. Sing a solo—it doesn’t say “sing a solo in front of a paying audience” so I have definitely done this.
  8. Visit Paris – I have been to Paris a few times all while I was going to school in Dijon (and yes I do have a mustard story). If you are going to Paris, stay at the Hotel du Comfort in the 6th arrondissement (it has the delightful aroma of overcooked cabbage with just a hint of old litterbox. They may have a room named for me and my roommate — who they described as “affreuse” which means “hideous” in French.) Drink at the Pub St. Germaine. And perhaps repair to Pussy Bar for an after dinner cognac. Or stay the hell away from any of those places and most others that I frequented during my 1986 European tour.
  9. Teach yourself an art from scratch—I don’t really know what this means. I took up needlepoint before I had my first child because I thought it seemed like a maternal activity. I also vowed to start drinking hard liquor once I had kids because that also seemed more maternal. My mother knitted and drank Black Velvet, perhaps at the same time, I don’t remember.
  10. Have food poisoning – Not sure why this is on the list but I have….thanks to a chicken panini. And if you haven’t done this, don’t go out of your way to try it.
  11. Walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty – I have been to the Statue of Liberty but it was not open for climbing to the top. I give myself a half point for this.
  12. Grow your own vegetables – Yes I have. There is a garden tomato story involving Brigid when she was 4.  I may write it up in the future to prove what a good (read: horrible, negligent) mother I am.
  13. See the Mona Lisa in France – I don’t know where else you would see Mona unless they move the Louvre out of France. I have seen the Mona Lisa. It is much smaller than I expected and I had to fight through throngs of photo-snapping Japanese tourists to see her. I didn’t have all day, we did the Louvre in about an hour because we were late for the Pub St. Germain.
  14. Sleep on an overnight train – I slept in a couchette from Paris to the south of France and it was one of my best night’s sleep EVER.
  15. Have a pillow fight – check.
  16. Take a sick day when you’re not ill – Duh.
  17. Go skinny dipping — Done. Unless you are my children reading this then NO I would never do that! Girls! Go do your homework!
  18. See a total eclipse – I don’t know if this is referring to a lunar eclipse, a solar eclipse, or a total eclipse of the heart; but I have seen all of those things.
  19. Watch a sunrise or sunset – Check. Who hasn’t? Blind people haven’t, Maggie you insensitive cow.
  20. Visit the birthplace of your ancestors, as well as their burial places – How far back do you go for someone to be an “ancestor”? Do my parents count? If so, yes I have done this.
  21. Teach yourself a new language – a new made up language or a language already in use?
  22. Had enough money to be truly satisfied – Probably once for like an hour.
  23. Walk on a beach by moonlight — Check
  24. Go by ambulance – Yep. Did the ambulance ride after the elective surgery adventure.
  25. Have your portrait painted — I had my portrait pastelled during same trip to Vancouver BC when the Emu tried to capture my sister Molly.
  26. Kiss in the rain — Check
  27. Play in the mud – I’m guessing I have. Does gardening count?
  28. Go to a drive in theater – I first saw “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” at a drive-in.
  29. Start a business – I once had cards and letterhead printed for my business. I didn’t actual do or run a business but I did start it.
  30. Sell Girl Scout Cookies – I was a Bluebird/Campfire Girl, even then I knew my limitations as a salesman. My mother had to buy my allotment of Campfire candy because I absolutely refused to sell candy door-to-door.  I have stood outside Zupan’s with my children who were selling Girl Scout cookies.
  31. Get flowers for no reason – I don’t know if this refers to giving OR receiving flowers for no reason; I definitely buy me flowers for no reason.
  32. Donate blood, platelets or plasma – I have done this but  not an activity I excel at.
  33. Bounce a check – Duh. And once again, don’t make this a goal.
  34. Save a favorite childhood toy – can I save adult toys? (Girls! Go do your homework!)
  35. Eat caviar – Yes and I ate it like Tom Hanks in “Big”.
  36. Piece a quilt – I did piece together an afghan that I knit, like a quilt afghan not the Taliban.
  37. Stand in Times Square – Yep.
  38. Be fired from a job –- Strangely enough, that’s only happened once and they called it “laying off”.
  39. Break a bone – check… one elbow, one leg not at the same time.
  40. Have your picture in the paper – check
  41. Visit the White House – check.
  42. Have chickenpox — yes, that was quite an accomplishment in my youth
  43. Join a book club — and then made a fool of myself by picking “Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas” for the group to read. Don’t read that book it is complete treacly melodramatic shite.
  44. Lose a loved one — I’m assuming this means have someone you love die, not just lose them in a mall. Either way, I’ve done both of those.
  45. Have a baby –check twice.
  46. Save someone’s life — I think I’ve done this. A couple of years ago during a heat wave (100-105ish), I checked on my elderly neighbor Darlene and she was walking but not responsive, she couldn’t see or hear me and I was in her face yelling her name. Had to call 911 and she never came back to that house. She is still alive but living in an assisted living facility.
  47. Be involved in a lawsuit – I am involved in a class action suit right now!  It’s somebody against Netflix and I’m in line to get a cash settlement. My ship has come in!!!
  48. Own a cell phone — Grudgingly.
  49. Be stung by a bee — Check, again why is this necessary before I die? Doing this could kill some people, which I suppose brings us full circle.
  50. Read an entire book in one day — Check.

There. My work on this list is done. I have no idea why #38 hasn’t happened many times, what with my work ethic and all.

I am just like Mrs. HuWhiggins


And Now, the List You Have All Been Waiting For!

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Not Gonna Do It, Wouldn’t Be Prudent

Here is the second installment of my list. If you are asking yourself “whatever list could Maggie be referring to? to which list is Maggie referring? refer Maggie to list which?” Read this post if you need to know what is going on. The spacing is pissing me off just so you know I wanted more white space. Stupid spacing.
Oh my Christ this spacing thing is pissing me off. I keep changing and previewing and changing and freakin’ previewing and it’s not doing it! Punch out this stupid WordPress ragga fragga
100 Things To Do That Make Life Exciting, Fulfilling
or Better Than the Lives of People Who Haven’t Done These Things.
The “No Way in Hell” Edition in 13 Easy Items

1. Play in a band — I, uh, I don’t… I mean, no. Play what in a band? Doesn’t matter, no thank you.

2. Bungee jump—Absolutely not. No thank you. See bungee cord breaking here.

3. Watch a lightning storm at sea – Does this mean I am out at sea or the Storm is at sea? Is this in person? If the requirement is that I am at sea on a boat during a storm. Thank you, but no.

4. Run a marathon – Uh no, no I won’t do this. Thank you anyway.

5. Go on a cruise – You know what?! You go on a cruise! Do NOT go on a cruise, see here.

6. Go rock climbing — No thank you.

7. Visit Africa — Have you seen The Constant Gardener? I have. No thank you.

8. Go deep sea fishing – See cruises

9. Go sky diving – No, don’t boss me.
10. Fly in a helicopter – No!
12. Ride a speeding motorcycle — Nooooo! Although I’m thinking I may have done this but I will NOT going forward.
13. Kill and prepare an animal for eating – Nope. I’d wind up a vegetarian and I don’t want to have that befall me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

This post is ruined.


Yes, I know it looks like shit, I have no idea what is going on. Just delete it… ugly, crowded, loser post.
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No Blogging At My House

Months ago, I found a list online of 100 things you (or me or anyone) should do before dying. I have  mentioned my fondness for completing forms, check lists, questionnaires, surveys….I love to let the world know how I feel or what I think. This list allows me to tell you, my 15s of readers, what I would like to do, have done, or will never do.

I was going to start with all the things I have done on the list, but I have done over half of them and it’s taking some work to get it organized into a readable, entertaining  post. I am well aware that there is a very real chance that I will be the only one to find this interesting so I know I have to work hard on it. I was going to work on it last night but there was mayhem and chaos and dogs at my house.

My sister Katie is visiting for a couple of days to get her spring clothes, her Dyson vacuum cleaner and some pictures to take back down to Denver with her. She brought her dogs Fred and Finn with her. So at my house right now there is:





There are a lot of dogs

Also at my house is my nephew, my girls, my sisters and a cat. My house is around 2400 sf so right now it’s not a healthy blogging place for me. I was also bugging Sister Katie by looking at my computer too much.

I am going to start with the items on the list that I haven’t done but could conceivably do or would be willing to do. It’s an easier list.

100 Things To Do That Make Life Exciting, Fulfilling
or Better Than the Lives of People Who Haven’t Done These Things.
The “I Could Totally Do That” Edition
  1. Hold a praying mantis – wha? No, I haven’t held a praying mantis and why is this such a mind-boggling activity that it goes in a Top 100 list? I could totally hold a praying mantis.
  2. Adopt a child — My kids are teenagers. I don’t want more children but push comes to shove? I could totally adopt a child.
  3. Hitchhike — I don’t want to but I totally could, I have thumbs.
  4. Build a snow fort – I honestly don’t know if I have or not. I totally could if I lived somewhere that had that much snow and I was forced to go out and play in it OR if I were inexplicably trapped on a snowy mountain and had to build a snow fort (snow cave) to survive. The chances of me being trapped on a snowy mountain are pretty slim.
  5. Hold a lamb – I would TOTALLY do this! And a baby pig, I would totally hold a piglet.
  6. See an Amish community – I could totally do this if I knew where there was one in Oregon. I looked it up. There is an Amish community in McMinnville which isn’t far from Portland. There were 35 members in 1955 and no data since then.
  7. See the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person – Note: I think whoever created this list could have omitted the “in person”. Doesn’t it go without saying? Seeing these things in a Google search wouldn’t be that impressive. That being said, if I were in Italy, I would totally be open to visiting Pisa.
  8. See Michelangelo’s David – Note: There is a lack of consistency here, this item doesn’t say if I need to see the David in person or not. Once again, if I am ever in Italy, I would totally go to see the David.
  9. Sing Karaoke –  I don’t think I have and you totally don’t want me to. (But it still could happen).
  10. See Old Faithful geyser erupt– I could totally do this if I knew where to find Old Faithful. I looked it up, it’s in Wyoming. I’ve been to Wyoming but I don’t recall seeing Old Faithful.
  11. Buy a stranger a meal at a restaurant — I could do this, I have a debit card. This totally reminds me of the distress I experience when I see old men eating alone in restaurants or when I am alone in a restaurant.
  12. See the Sistine Chapel in person — There seems to be an Italian tourism theme going on here: potrei farlo di sicuro!
  13. Be in a movie— be in a movie with Ryan Gosling, I could totally do that. Ryan…call me.
  14. Visit the Great Wall of China – unless this can be a restaurant, I totally doubt I’m doing it.
  15. Take a martial arts class — Meh. I totally could but I totally wouldn’t.
  16. Visit Russia – I haven’t but I Полностью would!
  17. Serve at a soup kitchen — I volunteer with hunger related charities but totally haven’t done this yet.
  18. Go whale watching —  I think my attitude toward whale watching is similar to my martial arts attitude. Watching whales doing martial arts…I would totally do that.
  19. Visit a Nazi concentration camp — I haven’t but I would.
  20. Visit the Lincoln Memorial — I’ve seen it but haven’t walked up the stairs. I would totally love to go back to DC.
  21. Tour the Everglades — I could but I totally don’t want a ‘gator to get me. I could but I probably won’t.
  22. See the changing of the Guards  in London – It’s Changing the Guard in London as opposed to seeing the Changing the Guard in Topeka. I would totally love to do this and going to London is a priority so I can see this happening.
  23. See the Grand Canyon in person — Totally happy to do this in person because I’ve already seen the pictures. How to improve this item? “See the Grand Canyon from the back of burro”…that would be more of a bucket list activity.
  24. Publish a book — I would Totally do this if you guys will read it.
  25. Visit the Vatican — This would be totally Catholic of me. I’m not a big fan of the Pope but having been to the Cardinal’s mass at St. Patrick’s in NYC, I gotta say we Catholics have a way with ceremony pomp circumstance incense etc.
  26. Buy a brand new car – It could happen but it’s totally not worth it.
  27. Walk in Jerusalem — Would love to but totally wary of the Middle East.
  28. Read the entire Bible — I tried this once and I made it to Leviticus (chapter 4, Jackson 5).
  29. Sit on a jury — I have totally tried to do this but they never pick me. I go and sit in the room and they. never. pick. me.
  30. Meet someone famous — This will be totally easy when I’m doing the movie with Ryan Gosling.
  31. See the Alamo in person — This a totally demanding list making us do this stuff in person.
  32. Swim in the Great Salt Lake — It doesn’t say if I have to do this in person. I would prefer to not do not do it person.
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