Category Archives: blogging

One Tough Broad: Calamityrae the Broad who took on Le Clown

Here is a link to a post on a blog I had never read before this morning:

Calamityrae is recovering from sexual abuse at the hands of her mother. She writes to give her past voice and to promote her healing. Unfortunately she came in contact with Le Clown which typically is enjoyable at the outset but if you don’t toe his megalomaniacal line, it gets ugly quickly. Calamityrae, who has known abuse, decided she wouldn’t stand for it from another blogger, who wasn’t serious, he was just joking when he made his graphic sexual comments to a recovering victim of sexual abuse.

Calamityrae joins the OTB club!

Calamityrae joins the OTB club!

Read her blog. Read her take down of this cyber bully. Everything about the Clown is textbook for an abuser. He offers his support. Pushes the boundaries of acceptable conduct and then asks for secrecy.

Eric wrote graphic sexual messages to a victim of sexual abuse and then asked for it to be their little secret. Let the sickness of that sink in for a bit.

Some of my WordPress pals may remember a dust up I had with LeClown last spring when he called me a racist. Here are the links to all of those posts if you care to relive the fun.

here and here and here

The bottom line is that I captioned a photo of me and my college friends, Eric didn’t like the caption, said I was a racist. In an email conversation he asked what I would do if he posted on my FB page and brought all of his followers on board to harass me. When I asked if he was threatening me, he backed off and nothing came of it. Of my own accord, I posted on the subject and there was much discussion and I took plenty of heat but in the end, I didn’t agree with his assessment of me and said so. He emailed me to tell me he was unfollowing my blog and unfriending me on Facebook. Thank goodness he emailed me instead of just doing it because I might not have noticed his absence.

As Calamityrae writes in her post, Eric also told me my blog was going places and said he would help me with my banner. He isn’t very imaginative as it appears he offers his graphic design skills to all the girls. Then there is the threat of FB shaming if you displease him. What a bizarre threat from an adult.

Eric is free to write whatever he wants, to post whatever offensive images he wants but readers are also free to disagree with him and to stand up to him. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing but everyone has it so self-important bullies like Eric have to be careful when that freedom comes back to take a chunk out of their blog ass.

Go read Calamityrae for her brave post today and keep reading because of her powerful poetry and heartbreaking story.

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2013: My Year in Blogging or Try Again Next Year

So, like all of you, I got a little 2013 synopsis from WordPress about my blog activity for the year. I want to thank some of my blogging pals for helping to make 2013 a pretty damn good year for this blog.

Firstly, I want to thank my 2500 followers. I know many of you are members of royal families in Nigeria and are busy managing massive financial and real estate holdings yet you still take the time to read my little blog and for that I am truly grateful.

This is a statistic from WordPress regarding my blog activity this past year.

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 28,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 10 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

WordPress fails to note that the University of Texas Darrell K. Royal Football stadium seats 100,119 people. So that means my blog views for 2013 only fill up 27.9 percent of that stadium. Which means absolutely nothing.

Thank you to my friends and top commenters:

Lazy Laura Maisey

Lame Adventures


Unfettered BS

It has been my true pleasure getting to know all of you, except Don, he owes me money.

And thank you to one of my earliest blogging friends Brigitte at Your wonderful blog is one of the top 5 referring sites to my blog! Happy New Year Lady!

And while many of you think my blog is just fluff and nonsense, I now have the proof that you are wrong! Look, just LOOK at the top search terms for this blog for the year:

something fat happened, raylene, naked art, sally jesse raphael glasses, and rob kardashian socks.

This blog is taking on the tough topics, the hard love (Don, seriously, get out of here), the gritty celebrity sock and glasses news and Naked Art. This blog is a cultural extravaganza with “staying power” according to WordPress. My staying power is due to one of my top posts being written in 2012, please revisit the joy and serenity, the laughter and humiliation of My Korean Bathhouse Birthday.

Happy New Year! I’ll be back in 2014! Sorry, but I have nowhere else to go.

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The Thankful List as Parenting Tool

In an effort to get my teenager to appreciate all the good in her life, I have tasked her with writing a list of 50 items she is thankful for. It is due on Thursday. And because I love lists. I’m making my list right here, you lucky pilgrim bastards.

I am thankful for:

1. Ticonderoga #2 pencils

2. That I will have 12 loved ones for dinner tomorrow.


3. Diet Coke

4. Plastic surgeons who perform breast reduction surgery.

5. My bed

6. Dansko shoes

7. Dahlias

8. My followers, including CougarFlirts who just joined this week!

9. The Far Side


10. Sauteed Mushrooms

11. Cheese

12. Pinot Gris and her Italian cousin Pinot Grigio


13. Things made of pumpkin

14. Laughter


16. Frank Sinatra

17. Golf

18. Friends with Words

19. Central heating

20. Comfort movies (a list unto itself)

21. These jeans (the ones I have on, you can’t see them).

22. Gearhart

23. Memories

24. Stationery

25. Show tunes.

26. True Love

27. NY Times crossword puzzles

28. Good TV (another list all to itself)

29. Fundraising

30. Bacon


31. Yoga

32. Mornings


I don’t even need coffee!!!

33. Hope

34. Freedom of speech (it’s one of my fave freedoms because I talk a lot).

35. My brother because he is going to pick up the turkey so I don’t have to go to a store today!!!

36. Retin-A

37. Sea salt brownies

38. The Mary Tyler Moore Show. When you have the time, watch this episode. One of the best 25 minutes of TV EVER.

39. Books

40. Crayons

41. Purses

42.Reading glasses

43. Heated seats

44. Air conditioning (I think more important than heated seats).

45. Lists (no I’m not running out of ideas).

46. Theater (like live plays, although I’m a fan of movie theaters, too)

47. Movie theater popcorn

48. Kittens

49. My loved ones are safe and sound.

50. Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Nope. No one is that attractive.

Nope. No one is that attractive.

Sorrowful, Hopeful, Thankful

As I wrote here last week, on the night of November 15, three girls who are juniors in high school and friends of my daughter, Annie, were in a serious head-on car accident. Sadly, the accident was caused by a teen driver who was in the wrong lane. Miraculously, the passengers in two of the cars were unhurt. As far as the girls who were in the car, in the wrong lane: the driver had to be cut out of the car and taken to the hospital where she stayed for a day or two, the front seat passenger got out of the car by herself, was checked out at the hospital and released; and the third passenger, Katie, was in the back seat.  She is still in the hospital in a coma and has had surgeries to repair her pelvis and bladder.



I am so sad for the girls, their families and friends.

It would be easy to judge the 16-year-old driver who set these events in motion. I’m not going to do that. She is hurting enough. No one can punish her as harshly as she is punishing herself. One of her best friends is still in the hospital. Just like any mother, I want to shake this girl and say “what on earth were you thinking?” and then squeeze her and beg her to forgive herself. Don’t let this event define her but allow herself to learn from it and to teach others from her experience.

I pulled way too many stupid teenage driving tricks back in the ’80s to get too high and mighty about a horrible situation like this. When I was 16, I was driving to a volleyball game at Oregon City High School, to the south of Lake Oswego. I was confused about which ramp to take to get where I wanted to go. When I reached the end of the ramp and realized I was about to get on a freeway that I did not want to be on, I made a quick decision. What did I do? I turned the big old station wagon around and drove BACK DOWN the ramp, against traffic. I sure did! Nope, I wasn’t hit by a semi. There wasn’t another car in sight! I could go on and on about stupid things I’ve done behind the wheel of a car but I think I’ve made my point. My number hasn’t come up. Sometimes, that’s just how it goes.

So the poor driver of the car in the accident two weeks ago, could have made it back to her lane and gone on with the evening. But that’s not what happened. There was another car. It’s just how it goes.

My heart breaks everyday for Katie’s family. I think of her mother sitting next to her daughter’s hospital bed praying, begging for her to open her eyes, to be okay. I imagine her disbelief. This can’t be my daughter!  This is NOT what was supposed to happen, don’t let this be happening. Last week, I was thinking about this while walking into the house after work and my breath caught in my chest. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I felt this horrible desperation. I don’t even know these people but I want to scream and shake somebody, fix this girl! Make this stop. Heal her and make her whole. She’s only 17.


The Power of Prayer. The POWER of PRAYER. I have heard those words plenty and typically scoffed at them. I was raised a Catholic and still practice the faith. I was taught to say my prayers at night, “Bless Annie and Brigid and Deren and Q and John and Katie and Molly, Matt and Sebastian and on and on.” I’ve prayed to not get in trouble. I’ve prayed to get a job or pass a test. I’ve prayed that he would like me or that I would get that new sweater.

But the Power of Prayer? I don’t know about that.

Years ago, a priest during mass asked parishioners to “pray for those in your family who have left their faith that they will return to the Church.” Or something like that. I thought to myself, “Or I could just go call whoever it is and say, ‘get back to church!” Who needs to pray when there are cell phones?

As I have aged, I have become more aware of my own helplessness. I can do what I can do. I can do my best to raise kind and responsible children. I can donate time and money and clothes and hope that it helps someone somewhere. But I am just me and I have learned I don’t have the power  to fix everything as a younger, more foolish me once believed.

Over the past 10 days, I have learned the power of prayer. Of quiet, fervent, sincere prayer. I’m not the most regular church goer but I go. Last week I went to two rosaries and to Mass. I had Sunday’s Mass said for Katie and her family.  What else can I do? These families don’t need casseroles or gift baskets or all the wine I can fit in my car, they need their girls to heal physically and emotionally.

I can pray.

I will renew you, so you can soar. Isaiah 40:29-31

I have never seen a spiritual outpouring like the one I have seen in the past 10 days. There is a Facebook page for Katie. There is a CaringBridge page. Say what you will about Facebook, but people are writing their hearts and prayers on that site. Words from friends and family and classmates and strangers pour in hourly. And that’s what can be done….hope, inspire, encourage. That’s all. There are people in Lake Oswego and Portland, all over Oregon and the West Coast, around the U.S. and around the world praying for Katie and the other two girls (I am not mentioning them by name because their names are not out in the public realm like Katie’s is and it’s not up to me to put them there.)

Every night, every morning, it seems almost always… I am praying and hoping she will be okay.

The doctors said that they have seen signs that Katie may be healing, coming back. There is hope!



Why do reminders have to be so harsh? I don’t often need to be reminded to be thankful. Sometimes I need perspective. I need to realize that what is an inconvenience is just that. It’s not the end of the world, it’s simply a hassle. Last night Derwood and I walked Mudd around the circle. The neighborhood was quiet, the sky clear and full of stars. It was cold but I had on gloves and a jacket. It was just a walk around the circle and I thought, “This is so easy, it’s so nice. I am so lucky.”

Here in the U.S. on Thursday people will gather to celebrate Thanksgiving. A holiday, like so many here, that has lost its meaning to food and a day or two off work.   I will do my best to remember all I have to be thankful for….I will have my children safe and warm and with me. I will know my loved ones are healthy and well-fed! I will be robustly grateful for God’s blessings and I will continue to pray that He will bless Katie and her family and all the families touched by this accident. Because that’s what I can do.

Right?? So I am grateful.


7 Things I Learned on My Trip to Denver

1. Southwest Airlines has a system.

These columns are part of the system. Oh, yeah there's a system.

These columns are part of the system. Oh, yeah there’s a system.

I don’t really know what it is. It involves columns. It involves the letters A, B, C and numbers 1-5, 6-10…. see the pattern? It goes up to 30 and then sometimes up to 60. And they call the A’s to stand by the columns and then they call the B’s but sometimes they don’t call the B’s so if you are a B, you don’t know to line up so you just stand up and walk on the plane. Probably to the consternation of the other B’s who were waiting at their columns. Or you hear that the C’s are being asked to line up and you know you are C6 so you go take your place even though there are other people standing there. I don’t know if they wanted me or not, I just got on the plane. Of course Southwest is really nice and they didn’t mind my system.

2. My sister’s condo has an incredible view.

My sister, Katie,  moved to Denver two years ago and I finally got my arse down there to see her. My brother and I went this past weekend because we were going to go for Thanksgiving but airfare was insane so we did Thanksgiving early. Katie has talked about her view and posted photos on Facebook but until I saw it, I didn’t fully appreciate what she’s got going on. For $1250 including utilities she can see a bunch of the Rocky Mountains, the downtown skyline, Coors Field, and the Colorado State Capitol building. Not. Too. Shabby.

View from Katie's patio during the day.

View from Katie’s patio during the day.

And at night.

And at night. I was having wine so I may have needed a tripod to keep the camera steady. You get the idea. Don’t judge me.

3. Katie has a darling house.

Katie is very handy and crafty and loves projects. Apparently when she moved in her condo had a Murphy bed and all the walls were striped blue and yellow. She got her furniture from Portland last month (it was originally a furnished rental) and now her house looks like this!!!

Walls painted. New couch from Pottery Barn. Rocker from my mom's side of the family.

Walls painted. New couch from Pottery Barn. Rocker from my mom’s side of the family.

4. Denver is really dry.

Thursday night when I got to Katie’s house, I was kind enough to point out to her “your hands are really dry.” I continued my feeling of superiority until I awoke the next morning and found that all of the moisture had been sucked out of my body. I then spent the rest of my time there putting on hand lotion, squeezing saline up my nose and then blowing my nose non-stop. Apparently you adjust to that if you live in Denver.

5. Thanksgiving dinner is good anytime

On Friday, Katie and I were a little “tired” sometimes when we haven’t seen each other for awhile, we get so excited that the next day we wind up a bit “tired”.  Despite our “exhaustion”, we made a damn fine Thanksgiving dinner served at the table we used to eat at when we were growing up. We aren’t clear on how six of us sat at this table but we did and we had food on the table and plates and stuff. No idea how we fit.

Six for dinner?

Six for dinner?

6. Red Rocks is really high.

Everyone has heard that Denver is the Mile High City. What does that really mean though? I’ve been to Denver so I will let you know what that means. It means there is not much air there and what there is, is very dry. Red Rocks amphitheater which was built during the Depression, I’m sure as a public works project and not in the 80s for a U2 concert as I had previously believed; is about 20 miles from Katie’s so we went to see it.


Part of my brother in the shot showing all the GodDam stairs.

It is a most impressive spot. That's a very big rock.

It is a most impressive spot. That’s a very big rock.

There is very little air at Red Rocks. So I was puzzled to spy cigarette butts while walking up all the goddam stairs to see the venue.  Really, there’s no air here and you are going with a smoke for the walk? I’m not judging, just astounded.

Here’s the really crazy shit about Red Rocks. It’s a gym.

Oh yeah, we could do pushups where there's air but what the hell fun is that?

Oh yeah, we could do pushups where there’s air but we thought this would make you feel shittier about yourself.

We like walking and stretching and lunging in places where there is no air.

We like walking and stretching and lunging in places where there is no air.

We are paying this man to teach us how to do body breaking workouts without oxygen. Because we are going to run a marathon on the moon.

We are paying this man to teach us how to do body breaking workouts without oxygen. Because we are going to run a marathon on the moon.

Red Rocks taught me the reason why the windows on airplanes don’t open. People need air.

7. I Saw Bob Dylan in a Speedo!

Oh wait, no I didn’t. But I met Judy and she has seen Bob Dylan in a Speedo. I knew Speedo and I would hit it off and I was RIGHT and there is nothing I love more than being right. OK being right and air. I love those two things. And I love Speedo. Couple things you can tell about her from her blog….she’s cute and really funny. What you can’t tell is she is REALLY funny and REALLY pretty. Her boyfriend Jeff is also really funny and cute. They are a great pair. We could have chatted for more hours than we did and we chatted for hours and immediately upon meeting agreed that these kids play their music too damn loud and had to go outside.

Look at Speedo! I met Speedo!

Look at Speedo! I met Speedo!

One more time ladies, with teeth!

One more time ladies, with teeth!

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The Same Old Teenage Story aka Every Parent’s Nightmare

I remember my mom telling me about three kids in her senior class who were killed in a car accident right around graduation. I think they were hit by a train. When I was a freshman, a senior at my high school (Lake Oswego High School) was killed in a motorcycle accident. Last year, my friend Kitty’s daughter had a friend who died texting and driving. Too often across town, across the state, across the country; the news covers stories of teens who have died in car accidents.

On a Friday night in 1982, my BFF Trish and I dropped off my parents at a dinner less than a mile and a half away from home. We were driving back to my house for an evening of frozen pizza and movies on VHS. The streets were slick from the typical Oregon rain. I took a turn too fast and the giant O’Connor family station wagon spun around 360 degrees a couple of times. As luck would have it, there were no other cars on the road. We stopped and Trish and I looked at each other wide-eyed. Whoa! I was shaking a bit and carefully drove the rest of the way home.

Why would I do that? Why would I drive too fast around a sharp turn on wet streets in the dark? Because I was 17 and it was fun! I well remember the excitement and liberation of driving around with my friends in the car, no adults telling me to be careful, slow down, put on your signal. I am in charge of this hunk of steel and it is like driving a giant roller coaster car! Being a teenager can be a heady, exhilarating time; a time to believe you are indestructible. Time is on your side. Sadly we all have stories, we all know being young doesn’t guarantee longevity.

I was in Denver this past weekend visiting my sister. Saturday morning Katie told me, “Kathy posted on Facebook to pray for the LO girls in the car accident.” Um, what? My girls go to Lake Oswego High School. I did assume if one of them was in an accident, I would have received a call. I texted my girls and heard back from Annie. Sure enough, three of her friends were in a car, most likely driving one of them home after the football game.  Annie’s friend was driving too fast around a curve; a dangerous curve that has been a great one to take too fast since I was a teenager. The driver couldn’t control the car on the curve and went into the oncoming lane and hit another SUV head on.

In the blessings department, the people in the other car were not hurt. One of the girls was taken to the hospital and released. The driver had to be cut out of the car and remains in the hospital in fair condition.

The third girl is in the hospital in critical condition. I know this girl’s name well because she was one of the first to welcome Annie to LOHS when Annie was the new kid at school freshman year. This girl is on the dance team, she is actually as nice as she appears to be, well-loved by her family, friends and students, teachers, neighbors, etc. She is one of the good kids. The future is bright, it is blinding with possibility.

Today, she is in a medically-induced coma to help control the swelling in her brain. This is crunch time. Pray hard. If you don’t pray, just think good thoughts. She has pelvic surgery today, I’m guessing because they can’t put it off. She’s 17, she’s just a baby. I don’t know her family but I have cried or felt like crying since I heard the news. I think, “what if Annie had gotten a ride in that car Friday night?” I think of the terror of realizing the car was going to crash. I think of that phone call. Oh God, that phone call. And now her parents sit at the hospital praying the doctors can fix their girl.

And I, like millions of other parents, will continue to teach my child to drive. I will make her crazy with all my instruction and warnings. I will pray that I can convince her to be careful. Annie’s friends’ only crimes were being young and reckless because that is what the young are.

There is a Facebook page for updates which now has more than 1,000 followers. The family asks for prayers and good vibes, eat an Oreo and say nice things and mean them. I pray that a lesson can be learned here without any fatalities. I know we aren’t the only community to go through this but we need all of your prayers to who/whatever you pray to.

Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
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Follow You, Follow Me

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that overnight I had lost 130 followers.  I have 2,027 followers, 1,970 of whom are followers. That’s a crazy number and I know that many people are not reading my blog so who are these Followers in the Mist?

Tips Sukses Kerja is following me. This blog offers: Tipssukseskerja is the World of Work contains about where this blog will give you a solution about work issues you face everyday. We also provide web design and manufacture blog” So you might want to go check them out.

Haideeablog followed me although I’m sad to report this blog, with a sexy photo of an Asian woman, has been suspended by WordPress.

Just a week ago I was followed by and this one has a photo of an Asian man on it. I was a bit concerned about clicking on the link at work but NOT to worry! This appears to be a Vietnamese site selling computer innards. I’m sure they love getting caught up on my shenanigans!

KMSRAJ51 has a really fun blog. I’m going to just repost one of his jokes because it is a hoot! Wait for it….

*** Jokes **


अमेरिका, चीन और इंडिया की पुलिस एक साथ खरगोश खोजने निकली..
एक बार अमेरिका, चीन और इंडिया की पुलिस में बात हुई कि देखते हैं
तीनों में सबसे तेज कौन है????

उसके बाद एक खरगोश जंगल में छोड़ा गया और तीनों देश की पुलिस
को बारी-बारी से खरगोश को खोजने का काम दिया गया।

अमेरिकी पुलिस ने खरगोश को 2 दिन में खोज निकाला..

फिर चीन की पुलिस ने खरगोश को 1 हफ्त में ढूंढ़ निकाला।

अब बारी आई इंडियन पुलिस की.. खरगोश जंगल में छोड़ा गया..
इंडियन पुलिस 2 महीने तक वापस ही नहीं आई।

अमेरिका-चीन की पुलिस उनको खोजने पहुंची तो देखा..

इंडियन पुलिस बंदर को उल्टा लटका कर बुरी तरह पीट रही थी।
और बोल रही थी कि कबूल कर साले तू ही खरगोश है.. कबूल कर…

Think about it deeply !!!!!!!!!!

If you think about it deeply, you can see why I cracked up!

This is a good one: hairturkey45….for what else… hair transplants. This guy NEVER stops commenting on my blog!

Archangeltravel tells me to Smile! for I am at the Best WordPress Site Ever. Unfortunately, there is nothing there although they suggest I search and I may find something. Hmmm…very deep, I will think about that deeply, too.

Fatboyelite doesn’t exist but it is reserved so don’t think of starting a blog with that name.

2013kingqueen2013 is a blog about insurance, it appears they only blogged for a month. Can’t understand why that didn’t last.

I have these three followers in a row: Michael John, John Michael, John Michael. It’s weird but these three guys have very similar blog names: furniturestoresdallas, furniturestoredallas and dallasfurniturestores. Whoa! What the hell kind of coincidence is that?!

From my research it appears that about 5 months and 2 weeks ago something was let loose on WordPress because followers starting around then are nothing or they are spam for diet drugs or a page of some 20-something guy’s wallpaper which is the same photo of him over and over.

As a general rule, I don’t click on anything that has “massage” in the link, anything with “XX” in the title. I’m scared to click on goldenshits, don’t know what I’ll find there.  Flowersexoticadult and roboticgynaecology are also no-no’s. Wait! Roboticgynaecology. Wha?

Has anyone else had this happen to their blog? Even though on the surface, like you I’m sure if you had over 2000 followers, I’m flattered that I’m such a blogging sensation. Then reality takes a goldenshit on my head and I realize this is all too good to be true. Peace in Nigeria is no more real than the emails I get from the lawyer for that prince. Sigh.

WordPress, what is going on?

This Is Getting Ridiculous

I have no idea what my problem is. I have lost my blogjo (it’s like mojo but with a keyboard). I am amazed to say that I have 2149 followers and I’m pretty sure 14 of those are actual people who read my stuff. I have been Freshly Pressed twice. I have a good gig here and yet, I’m being a dick and not blogging.  I have plenty that I want to tell you but now I’ve left it for so long you don’t care anymore and the post would be like 3000 words and no one would read anything beyond this paragraph knowing that they would have to really commit and it’s Wednesday and who needs that kind of pressure?

Derwood and I went on our honeymoon.

We went to visit my family in Skaneateles NY. We went to see Colgate U. my alma mater. We went to Cooperstown NY to see the Baseball Hall of Fame. We went to Rouses Point NY for more of my mom’s side of the family and then we went to Rhode Island and stayed in a dear friend’s little cottage and had 6 days to ourselves and it was fabulous!

Skaneateles is a village on one of Central New York’s Finger Lakes, Lake Skaneateles (makes sense). I have an aunt and a cousin who live there and Derwood and I have decided in seven years we are moving there. I really miss the East Coast and this village is so cute, property values are reasonable, I have family there, Deren loves it, closer to my Colgate pals and if I have a kid in NYC, I’m not far away! This is a photo of me and Rega who is my aunt but also my friend. She was married to my Uncle John for 30 years before his untimely death in 2009. I have never before met anyone whose heart has been broken but now I have. Rega’s heart broke when John died. As I tell her, few are able to say they had that much time with the love of their life so there is a bit of a silver lining. Rega is a great hostess and Italian so spent a lot of time asking us if we wanted some food.

Me and Rega in her backyard, please note lake.

Me and Rega in her backyard, please note lake.



My cousin Randy lives in town with his wife Sheila and their darling children. They have raised really nice, charming, polite, funny kids and that is all good in my book. Randy and my brother John have never met but they look a lot alike and behave a LOT alike. Interesting how DNA works like that.



So there’s that for Skaneateles. Honeymoon resolution #1: move there.

Then we drove the 60 minutes to Hamilton NY to see Colgate one of my most favorite places on earth.  See, it’s pretty.

colgate stream

I’m writing a caption because I can’t get the cursor to move down below these pictures.


Still looking for the cursor.


Up at the top of the hill looking for the cursor.

There we go, just not working at all. No wonder no one wants to read this, after almost two years I don’t know how the hell to physically type in a blog.

While strolling the campus and showing Derwood my dorm, we saw this gentleman stroll by:

Philosophy Professor

Philosophy Professor

This photo does not do justice to the spectacle that was this man walking across the quad with his “I am so totally a college professor” stride and outfit.  Ahhhh academia.

We went to the bookstore and I bought a bunch of t-shirts for the kids and a pair of Colgate reading glasses and a Colgate key chain. I went to college at Colgate and I have a whole bunch of shit to prove it.

Thennnnnnn we went to Cooperstown NY to the National Baseball Hall of Fame. I’m not a baseball fan. I’m not not a baseball fan. Baseball is fine. Derwood is a big baseball fan. I don’t care if you are or aren’t, this is a fabulous museum and I’m so glad we went, it’s really fun and educational. Who knew the Chicago Cubs used to be called the Chicago Orphans? anyone? The only part that annoyed me was seeing Mark Maguire and Barry Bonds in there, cheaters.

Derwood in Cooperstown

Derwood in Cooperstown

I will write more tomorrow or next month. Have you noticed the ads at the bottom of my blog? I don’t know where those came from.  Sorry I suck so bad.

I have a couple more resolutions….oh you think I’m just going to tell you, right here? Now? No.

You’ll have to come back to find out.

That was a stupid conclusion. I’m just a bad blogger.

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Blog Stuff Because I Can’t Even Think of a Title

It’s me. The absent blogger.

I’ve been meaning to blog very important things but I’m too lazy. I think I’m lazy because I really can’t stand my job. It is so frustrating to be gone from home where I could be getting things done to be in an office doing nothing. Sure it’s fun for the first 6 months but almost 3 years in, not so much. I have applied for two jobs in the non-profit world and just signed a contract to do an event that will be held in February.

You know what I didn’t blog and should have? Oh, just a dinner date I had on a Friday night at Mother’s Bistro in Portland. A place I have written about before in one of my more traumatic posts.  

As many of you know I work on another blog called TipsyLit. A few weeks ago there was a post on Tipsy about Unexpected Reality. That post kept running through my head when I met my dinner dates for dinner at Mother’s.  Unexpected Reality. I think of that as something I just didn’t see coming. I was ready for one thing and got another. I thought it was milk but it was water.

I had dinner with Lisa of a Gripping Life and her daughter Lily of Lily in Canada!!! They are as wonderful as I knew they would be! Unexpected reality: they are tall. I just never pictured them as tall. I’m short and they are in the 6′ neighborhood. Please see below.

Well you can't really see in this one because I was "fixing" my hair. But you can see Lily, she's tall. And funny.

Well you can’t really see in this one because I was “fixing” my hair. But you can see Lily, she’s tall. And funny.

While lighting is bad, you can see the unexpected height of Lily and Lisa. I had on heels.

While lighting is bad, you can see the unexpected height of Lily and Lisa. I had on heels. And as you can tell by our eyes, we are all possessed which is why we got on so well.

We had a fantabulous time. I only wish they could have stayed for the weekend.  This was my first blogger meet fact to face and I loved these ladies!


OK, so I mentioned I am part of another blog, TipsyLit. The TipsyLit crew would like to feature blogger/authors regularly. There are many blogs that post interviews with authors; we at Tipsy are looking for published authors (self published or with a publisher) who are bloggers in our community. I have started up a list featuring of course my pal LameAdventures, you can buy her book here.  I have started a list of potential interview subjects and would like your help. If you are published and would like to be featured on TipsyLit please let me know either in the comments or at:  Or if you have recommendations for authors of blogs you follow, I want to hear from you! You want to be on TipsyLit….we are hot stuff. Simon and Schuster tweeted a TipsyLit book review just this morning!!!


And now for some hilarity that I found on Arden’s page:


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The 2013 End of Summer Magapalooza Extravaganza!

I haven’t been blogging much, thanks for noticing. And when one stops blogging regularly, one’s readers tend to drift off to read other blogs that actually post new material. This is not news to anyone and it happens, unfortunately. But I can’t blame blog readers, after all we have the attention spans of gnats so must go find a new shiny object. If gnats like shiny objects. I don’t know if they do. Nevermind.

HOWEVER, I have been at this blogging game for a good while (almost two years, in like four months it will be two years) and I have a strategery for reeling my followers back in. You wanna know what it is? Return to blogging with a post that really will interest no one but my family and probably not even them, and do it on the Friday before Labor Day weekend!!!

Ta Dahhhh!!!

This move is blogging genius and should guarantee me probably six or seven readers today alone!


In other news I’m winning the Facebook contest!!!

Yesterday I posted this on Facebook:

Maggie: Deren Johnson what should we do for your birthday?
Deren: I don’t know.
Maggie: It’s on a Sunday, so do you want to make plans?
Deren: It’s on a Thursday.
Maggie: No, the 8th is a Sunday.
Deren: My birthday is the 5th.


And you know what? That little conversation, which took place Wednesday night, got the most comments on any Facebook post I have ever made. Thus I am winning the Facebook contest!!!

Of course, one reason there were so many comments is because Donofalltrades can’t keep his yap shut thus causing me and my friends to comment more about how right I am even though Derwood thinks his birthday is September 5. And yes Don, I took care of him.

“Maggie, what Facebook contest?” you may ask. Why the Facebook contest in my head. I am winning my own contest that no one else knows about!!


We had a fabulous vacation at the beach. We played golf once because the greens fees were $75 per person which is INSANE for a tiny little village course. I think that includes a $25 “you have nowhere else to golf” fee. My pals Trish and Lisa and my seester Katie and I played tennis which was super fun and I think Trish and I won.

I. Am. Winning.

We saw whales swimming/spouting south for the winter which is quite a spectacle. I’ve never seen whales off the coast of Gearhart.

Derwood saved a bird. He noticed this bird flopping around in the shallow water and because he is the wonderful man that he is, he called a wildlife rescue who met us on the beach and took the murre to hang out with other baby murres till they are old enough to fly. While waiting for the rescue people, the bird just sat on the beach with us and we could pet it and I even carried it. And I washed the bird shit out Derwood’s jacket once we unloaded the bird.

Derwood holding rescued murre chick.

Derwood holding rescued murre chick.

And we walked the Historic Ridge Path in Gearhart which winds through a very old section of town with lots of darling historic houses. Here is a photo of Derwood and me on the Ridge Path. It’s a shame that Derwood’s eyes are closed but I look fabulous. Yep, just won my own photo contest. I am such a winner.



You know who else is winning? The TipsyLit blog! We are doing so well and there is news there which I will let Ericka announce when the time is right. My next Tipsy post will be Thursday, September 5 (supposedly also Derwood’s birthday but we’ll just see about that.) Please check out the blog and let me know if you are interested in submitting a piece for us. I am the submissive submissions editor so I can make or spank break you!


I hope you all had a wonderful summer and are rejoicing if you have kids who have returned or are returning to school. Yay for school!  Everyone in the U.S., please enjoy our long weekend celebrating working with a lot of alcohol and grilled meat. Not that that’s what we work with necessarily but you know celebrating, like a barbecue. Nevermind.

And for those of you outside the U.S., sorry you have to work on Monday.


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