Our Long 22-Day National Nightmare is Over!

I don’t know if you have noticed what’s been going on on WordPress recently but it’s been big. It’s the Internet though, you can’t see what’s going on behind the scenes.

For you, Lame.
For you, Lame.

There’s no way you could all know what has been going on behind the scenes here at Misc. Maggie. 2014 has been a tumultuous year. Life seems a bit off, something is not quite right, crowds are nervous but not sure why. There is an eerie quiet. What is happening over at Misc. Maggie? Is she okay?

I’m just going to say it…type it: I haven’t had a drink in 2014. I’ve had drinks, of course, water, Diet Coke, seltzer, that sort of thing. Hot water with honey. I’ve had drinks but no A-L-C-O-H-O-L.



And now, it’s over. Yes, it is. And I think we’re all okay, aren’t we? No, it hasn’t been easy. Well yes, it has been. It’s easy not to drink when you get such a bad cold/flu that you just can’t stomach the idea of alcohol.

As I told Derwood, I haven’t gone this long without a drink, uhhh… in, I guess, decades. I didn’t drink when I was pregnant. Other than that, I haven’t gone 22 days without a drink, there’s no way. Derwood expressed surprise but I mean, why would I? Sobriety just isn’t me.

Sure, I’ve thought about having a drink, but a glass of wine just didn’t sound good. Not that I ever just have a glass of wine….hahaha. That’s funny.

Courtesy: I found it on Facebook
Courtesy: I found it on Facebook

I thought a couple of times that I might like a drink with brown liquor in it, like Irish coffee but I don’t like whiskey. Though it sounds cozy doesn’t it? I imagined drinking a decaf Irish Coffee, looking out the window at the rain, while I nestled in an armchair in a warm, dark pub. But I don’t know any warm dark pubs and we haven’t had much rain this winter.

irish coffee

Keep in mind that during this time, I got a new dishwasher. A. New. Dishwasher. And even that, didn’t inspire me to have a celebratory drink. Stainless steel, quiet, actually cleans dishes but nuthin’. I didn’t drink a drop.

Photo courtesy: me
Photo courtesy: me

Now everyone pull yourselves together, big girl pants and bootstraps and all that. Last night I took care of it. I drank the leftover pinot gris in the fridge and I liked it. I’m okay. The stars and planets are all aligned as they should be and my liver is back at work.

37 thoughts on “Our Long 22-Day National Nightmare is Over!

  1. For almost two weeks, I’ve had a slight cold with a monstrous phlegm-filled cough that is taking the scenic route to exit my system. So I have been laying off the sauce, too. I have not gone dry, but I’m quaffing a lot less. I don’t miss it. I’ve also been exercising regularly and practicing portion control in a focused effort to lose weight. This isn’t a New Years resolutions thing with me. It just happens to coincide with New Years. And that’s one of my all-time favorite New Yorker cartoons.

  2. Addie

    I can’t tell you how relieved I am! I said to myself: Self, next thing you know, the Zombies will be here, and this knee will never let you out run them. Better hope Bud keeps his promise of a double-tap. Now, I can rest easy again.

          1. Exactly. Cept for the fritos and velveeta afterward. (Kidding. I’ve been doing great there. It’s BF who can eat like a pig and lose weight. I have to count every friggin piece of food that goes in my mouth.) ( AND be grateful.)

  3. I had the flu and could not drink wine. It burned my tongue! I think I had had a bad reaction of ten nights on Nyquil (another kind of drinking), but I worried that I had suddenly developed tongue cancer (it happens! I read a book where it happened to a famous chef!). But I’m fine now and a glass of cheap plonk sure tasted good when I could indulge again.

  4. Wow, that is impressive! Back in November, my fiancΓ© and I did no alcohol for 27 days to jump-start our wedding diets. It was supposed to be for the whole month, but Thanksgiving is a national holiday and I put my foot down on that one. Family holidays just aren’t the same without a few bottles of wine, you know?

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better and things have returned to normal!

    1. It’s been a huge relief. I got married last year and didn’t lose an ounce. If I won’t lose weight for my wedding, I’m just not going to πŸ™‚ Of course, for my first wedding I was tiny. I’m so excited for you!

  5. I am bowing down to you and your self-control! Funny timing, as I just finished reading “Dry” by Augusten Burroughs (don’t ask me why I avoided this GEM for so many years!) and the whole time I found myself thinking, “Wow, I really need a fucking drink right now.” LOL.

  6. How are you even still alive? They should make a movie about this — its a tale as harrowing as 127 Hours for sure.

    Glad to hear your party organ (liver) is fully functioning and you’re back on the wine train!

  7. Shall I tell you a little secret about myself? I’m pretty much teetotal. Shhhhh. Don’t tell anyone. They’ll think I’m boring. Glad you’re feeling better and the new dishwasher looks fab. Another secret now – I don’t have a dishwasher. I know. I’m like stone age.

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