One Tough Broad: Calamityrae the Broad who took on Le Clown

Here is a link to a post on a blog I had never read before this morning:

Calamityrae is recovering from sexual abuse at the hands of her mother. She writes to give her past voice and to promote her healing. Unfortunately she came in contact with Le Clown which typically is enjoyable at the outset but if you don’t toe his megalomaniacal line, it gets ugly quickly. Calamityrae, who has known abuse, decided she wouldn’t stand for it from another blogger, who wasn’t serious, he was just joking when he made his graphic sexual comments to a recovering victim of sexual abuse.

Calamityrae joins the OTB club!
Calamityrae joins the OTB club!

Read her blog. Read her take down of this cyber bully. Everything about the Clown is textbook for an abuser. He offers his support. Pushes the boundaries of acceptable conduct and then asks for secrecy.

Eric wrote graphic sexual messages to a victim of sexual abuse and then asked for it to be their little secret. Let the sickness of that sink in for a bit.

Some of my WordPress pals may remember a dust up I had with LeClown last spring when he called me a racist. Here are the links to all of those posts if you care to relive the fun.

here and here and here

The bottom line is that I captioned a photo of me and my college friends, Eric didn’t like the caption, said I was a racist. In an email conversation he asked what I would do if he posted on my FB page and brought all of his followers on board to harass me. When I asked if he was threatening me, he backed off and nothing came of it. Of my own accord, I posted on the subject and there was much discussion and I took plenty of heat but in the end, I didn’t agree with his assessment of me and said so. He emailed me to tell me he was unfollowing my blog and unfriending me on Facebook. Thank goodness he emailed me instead of just doing it because I might not have noticed his absence.

As Calamityrae writes in her post, Eric also told me my blog was going places and said he would help me with my banner. He isn’t very imaginative as it appears he offers his graphic design skills to all the girls. Then there is the threat of FB shaming if you displease him. What a bizarre threat from an adult.

Eric is free to write whatever he wants, to post whatever offensive images he wants but readers are also free to disagree with him and to stand up to him. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing but everyone has it so self-important bullies like Eric have to be careful when that freedom comes back to take a chunk out of their blog ass.

Go read Calamityrae for her brave post today and keep reading because of her powerful poetry and heartbreaking story.

89 thoughts on “One Tough Broad: Calamityrae the Broad who took on Le Clown

  1. I think I love you. THANK YOU so much for this. You have idea how you have validated my words, how THIS is such huge support, because I’m sure you understand how lonely and frightened one can be when this CLOWN tries to bully you. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

    1. I don’t know why, but this was hard for me to read, Maggie. I’d forgotten about your tiff with Eric last year or whenever that was. I just read over some of your posts and sort of found myself rolling my eyes at the response to your totally not meant to hurt anybody’s feeling photo. Were it not raining, it’d never have happened, right? Anyway, I consider Eric a friend, as far as online friend’s go, but I’m certainly not one of his foot soldiers. I fancy myself a good judge of people, but I trust Calamity’s instincts built over the course of a lifetime of abuse as well. I also have Eric to thank for introducing Nicki, who I think is fucking great. Bearded hipsters…lol! Anyway, I’m saddened by this revelation, but also glad to see it so that it can get hashed out sooner rather than later. I guess I’m copping out in that I won’t take sides yet, but I want you to know that I love you still!!

          1. Okay. Let me elaborate then. When someone responds to a comment with a simple “This” it means the agree WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

            In other words, this whole situation is unfortunate, fucked up, and unfathomably sad. I don’t expect anyone to take sides or draw battle lines, but the truth did need to come out.

  2. Look at all us girls gettin’ together! One positive outcome of this whole mess is that it has given me an opportunity to stumble on great new blogs. I’m now a follower.

    I didn’t join wordpress until November, so I missed this snafu. Reading these links, I saw a very familiar story. Had I known Eric is the leader of the PC police, I would never have embraced his friendship. Lesson learned.

    The thing that jumped out at me from your posts was that you posted photos celebrating your WEDDING. a true friend would have let something so small go in the bigger picture of celebrating an amazing day with you.

    I do not promote hate speech. But sometimes it goes too far, in my opinion, with policing innocuous remarks. I would rather live in a world where I get to choose what offends me.

    In my experience, when someone is so rabidly defending a platform, they are sometimes masking ugly things inside themselves. I think this is what happened here.
    I’m glad this person is not going to be able to spread his vitriol anymore, all under the guise of being an evolved human.

    In layman’s terms, let’s flush this turd.

    1. hahahaha
      This has been a great learning opportunity and has introduced me to some great new writers. I need to catch up on your whole brouhaha because it sounds like Eric went after you big time. Thank you for inspiring Calamityrae who inspired me.

      Welcome to WP, buckle up!

    2. Who you calling a girl, Daniels? I’m a man. And Canadian. That makes me a double man. Or something.

      I just read about your tussle with this guy, Maggie. I think, pure and simple, he’s a control freak and a manipulator and it’s damn good this all came out.

      This guy is going to go and try to make a martyr of himself now. He’s going to pull in the sympathy, and I imagine once he feels like he’s on solid ground again, he’ll be at his old tricks again. Seriously, what a wanker. And, I suspect, an internet has-been.

      1. Trent you are single mannedly redeeming Canada which had been overclowned for so long. I, myself, am half-Canuck so yes I think being a male Canadian doubles you up into a goose or something. Eric may have jumped the shark with his porn messaging to Rae and FB bullying of Nicki. Picked on the wrong chicks this time!

        1. That he did, and thank goodness for it. Hurrah for people standing up and bringing it.

          As for Canada, I do what I can to prove that we are the single-most humble and hilarious people on earth. Or any other place.

          Good to meet you, half-Canuck.

  3. Life is way too short to be intimidated or bullied by someone. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that goes for EVERYONE. I’ve shared a similar experience as you, Maggie. It was no where near the situation that this woman endured. I decided to just stop, leave and let go.

    I don’t hang around with people who make me feel bad. I don’t want to spend time in a place where I have walk on eggshells when I voice an opinion. We’re all adults, free-thinking and free-spirited. This blogging thing shouldn’t make people feel bad or excluded for God’s sake. It’s supposed to be fun.

    Who knows? Maybe revealing how something someone said hurt someone so badly will bring the person who did the hurting a deeper understanding of how their words have WEIGHT. I sure hope so.

    I’ve never liked mean-spirited humor. I don’t like to see hurtful comments that berate or belittle or humiliate. Despite our being adults, this blogging thing can feel like a kind of “club” and it never feels good to be on the outside and to have something you say be twisted or turned into something that is nothing close to what you intended to express.

    I blog to enjoy myself, to laugh, to think, to open myself up to different ideas and opinions in a respectful, lively way. To find like-minded individuals who enjoy that same thing.

    I believe that, for the most part, the blogging community is a wonderful one and I’ve been blessed to be in contact with so many good souls (you included, Mags).

    1. Brigitte, thank you for this comment comment. You are one of the most thoughtful, reasonable, informed and compassionate bloggers I know and I have been with you since the beginning. Blogging is the free expression of thoughts and experiences, of fact and fiction….it is no place for bullying or abuse.


  4. Wow. Thank you so much for posting this. I’m new to this whole WordPress/blogging world thing and had no idea it could be so, well, scary. It’s inspiring that there’s such a strong group of women who are willing to stand up to injustice. I’m a new follower of yours and now a new follower of Calamityrae’s. Strong women for the win.

    1. Welcome aboard Erin! You will find a microcosm of humanity here on WP. The good the bad the ugly but mostly good. The mental health bloggers are some of my favorites, they are the most courageous writers on here in my opinion and I’m proud to call a few of them friends. I will go check out your blog. Thank you for reading and following.

      1. Ok. Got it. Got the story. WOW. Funny…I asked him to do some html stuff and he refused. Haha. What a dick. Sex jokes to a victim of sexual abuse. Say no more. Following Calamity. Quit reading Clown when he was a dick to you. I too have met some amazing people blogging ~ MAGGIE!!! It has gotten me through a really hard time being able to come here and write. Thank you all…thank you Maggie for this, and welcome all newcomers!! Blog On.

        1. Jude, you rock. This is quite a story. And now he has password protected his site and blackboxwarnings which I believe you wrote a post for. Calamity has rocked the boat! xoxo

          1. Hell’s yeah she has. And hells YES quite a story. And yes I did. Sooooooo…what about everyone’s guts up on that site?? Hmmm. Yes…Calamity is quite amazing. I am intrigued AND fired up ya’lls!!

          1. Melanie

            I may have mis-spoke. I’m not able to get to BBW right now, so I’ll see what I can find out, if anything, and let you know.

          2. Melanie

            Try doing a google search for the title of your BBW blog post. It’s possible the cache version is still available. Or, if you’d like, I’d be happy to search it out. I just need the title. I’ve only been there for six months, and my memory of the titles and content is not what it should be, but, then again, I never really expected not to be able to just go there and search.

          3. yes – me too! My draft of it is on a crashed laptop we are getting work done to at the moment – don’t know if I’ll get it off of there – I had attached it to an email to get it to Eric and thought I would have it in there…no luck. The name was Bulimicamp.

  5. Hey Maggie,

    I’ve been in a similar situation myself– yes, a young woman that stalked me on LiveJournal some years back.

    So I agree this sort of behavior is NEVER OKAY. Man, woman, whomever, it’s not acceptable. And I fully support Rach bringing this to light. Eric has shown me some great stuff on WordPress, but… it is inexcusable. I hope he realizes I think so. I hope he gets some help, I really do.

    1. Thank you for reading and I could not agree with you more. Unwanted attention isn’t okay from anyone to anyone. Eric needs some serious help and I think life is showing him that.

  6. My Muted Voice

    Hi! I’m a new follower as well and would agree that there has been some good come out of this as far as some unity, speaking the truth and finding new talented writers. I’m shocked by how many have affected, writers I’ve been following for awhile who I greatly admire and respect. I guess it shouldn’t be shocking in the world we live in today, but it is. Thank you for sharing your truth as well.


    1. So happy you are here Deanna. WP can be a great place but once in awhile some crap sneaks in, it’s just a little chunk of the world and that’s how it goes. I will go check out your blog!

  7. This is sad. I just tried checking out Calamity and it said the page was deleted 😦 Hope she didn’t let all this BS get to her. I just started following the Clown, but now I feel icky for it. Mean people suck, plain and simple.

    1. Yeah, I just got back from a weekend away and sadly Calamityrae is gone. I don’t blame her. I wish I could have convinced her to stay, she has a strong voice and story to tell. Welcome to WP Lolly, it’s an interesting place!

        1. Whew, I waded into a bunch of the back story here and there. (For the record, the wedding photo caption made me uncomfortable and startled, and I admire your openness to hearing people’s thoughts about it. ) Wow, what a mess. It makes me glad I mostly just blog about gardening and nothing deeply personal; I did go a little bit into some personal stories but they are way way way back in the blog before I had more than two readers!

        2. Not to keep stirring the pot, but from what I have read it seems he was so full of himself that it was surprising to me that he took his site down. I wondered if WordPress forced his hand. (I must have read about all this for an hour last night.)

          1. Oh, it’s quite the soap opera! He took down his sites and his Facebook which I think has to do with a custody battle he is engaged in with his ex-wife. It’s a very long story!

          2. Well, then, I do so wish the writer who took her site down would reinstate it. I wonder if one takes one’s WP blog offline, does it remain intact and re-publishable? I think FB pages do, for awhile anyway.

  8. Sorry to come out of the woodwork on this. I’ve been blogging since September 2012, and I’ve always wondered why everyone was so enamored with someone who was clearly a comment bully. He was never exactly terrible to me, but I wrote a post once entitled BS Feminism that he, his wife, and many of his other cronies jumped on. I stood by what I wrote in that article, despite admitting that I may have oversimplified a few things. He then made some remark to the effect of taking this to his own blog. I was then invited to write a post for Outlier Collective as part of a week on Feminism, and looking back on it, I can’t help but wonder if he had wanted people to rip my views apart.

    Maybe it’s because I never got to know him that well, but from what I saw, he was very mean-spirited. I’m so glad to know I wasn’t the only one to feel this way. I found to him to be a threatening presence on WordPress, when someone with that kind of following could be doing so much good.

    1. Welcome! You know what this reminds me of? When I was in 3rd grade there was a girl in my class who ruled the roost. I would make myself sick worrying if she would like my haircut or tell everyone it was awful and they would all hate my hair and thus hate me. I was 9 then so that was scary. I’m almost 49 now and Eric the bully didn’t scare me, he pissed me off. He is a schoolyard (blogyard) bully and Sara and his followers were willing participants in his BS. Talk about drinking Koolaid! It is refreshing to be free of all of it. And I want to read the BS Feminism post, I’m sure I will love it 🙂

  9. You know, I’m just going to say it now because I’m tired of tip toeing around the entire subject for “fear” of the consequences. It was obviously NOT just Eric who caused damage, although he is to blame for what he did to ME. His MOB needs take responsibility for what they’ve done to other bloggers. Apologies are in order. Fuck lines in the sand. There are no lines in the sand: it’s called taking responsibility for actions, being a big girl and apologizing for bullying people. I can’t believe his mob has again, turned this very important conversation into something completely different in order to avoid being held accountable for THEIR actions. As I look around wordpress, I see people making excuses for these people in a very diplomatic way so as to not get scolded by the mob again. (not on here, Maggie – other places).

  10. Marie

    About 10 years ago I was a victim of his bullying in the office we worked at. My friend got tangled in his web of lies during his 1st marriage as well…This man ( if you can call him that) has been at it forever.

  11. I only read CR’s blog about Le not so Magnifique yesterday and comments are closed and she has said no more posts will go up. So I decided to write my own blog post saying she was a brave woman, but not mentioning names, rather trying to pull out some lessons from it. I have to be honest, my blog readers wouldn’t p*ss on LC/ER if he was a clown on fire, let alone have read him.

    I encountered him a couple of years ago. Okey dokey nicey nicey and then I dared to criticise because it seemed a blog where you could write what you thought. Big oops! You can imagine. The hordes poured in to tell me off for daring to disagree with El Maestro, I got a ‘naughty girl’ email from headteacher so I fucked off as requested. And this was sheer trivia compared with CR’s experience.

    CR has mentioned the mob, and I think they were as spooky as him. Well, they still are as you can find them kicking around and kicking anyone on wordpress.

    I should add that I am pretty feminist, and I never thought his blog was remotely feminist, or his acolytes. The opposite really. So when I read CRs about that aspect I was totally gobsmacked. Hey ho. CR did a good job. I admire her and am sorry for the grief she has attracted, but at least she has managed to bring out the fact that all of us who weren’t admirers and thought there was something odd there weren’t on our own after all.

    Hope she reads this as I can’t comment on her LC blog.

    1. Rough, thank you for that. I needed to read that, because I have felt very, well, alone within the last few weeks. Of course, this was partially my fault for telling everyone to just leave me alone and turning off comments. But it’s just gotten so nasty and I assure you – the mob is still at work.

      However – I’m done fighting with anybody – I said my piece and I’m leaving the blog up as it’s now retitled and it’s going to stay exactly as is it now. I believe Eric’s lynch mob owes quite a number of people an apology – and NOT one in private, either – seeing as how they lynched very publicly. I’m currently in contact with a lawyer to try and uncover who sent me vitriolic mail. People think that because this is the “online world” that they aren’t held accountable for their actions. And then there’s a woman who won’t stop stalking me in a very very twisted way. I can’t help but think she’s a literal marionette and Eric is pulling the strings.

      Thanks Maggie, for keeping this post up. =)

      1. Thanks CR. I know people have said lets move on, but just dismissing it isn’t the point, it’s like shrugging shoulders and saying ‘all over now, let’s move on’. Is it? Is it really? Doubt it very much, certainly for you. I’m sorry I was late to the party, but in a way, it’s given me chance to read all around about it. The supporters of Eric, the ones who have stood up for you, and the ones who have sat on the fence are all out there for now.

        I did read a great piece today from – um, can’t remember who – but he did explain how for victims of abuse it is difficult to walk away from such situations. When I wrote my piece on roughseas as an afterword to the whole sad sorry story, one of the things I advised people to do was walk:

        3) If you want to indulge in internet flirting, keep control. If it goes beyond what you want, walk away. Don’t try and renegotiate the terms and conditions. Someone else has just done that and you need to reject them. Point blank.

        Whole post is here should you choose to read it.
        No names, but I didn’t need to did I?

        Thanks for answering, I did want you to know that there was yet another voice out there for you.

        1. and it *is* difficult to just “walk away” from those situations. I felt like I “owed” him my friendship because he gave my story a platform on his popular black blox warning blog. And see, that’s the very twisted thinking of someone who has been abused as a child. And because Eric built platforms, where almost every post was written by a woman regarding mental illness and abuse, I’m fairly certain he knew how to “prey” upon those vulnerabilities. In fact, I know he did, as he did it with several other women, as well. And that’s very sick. What’s worse is – why did it take so long for this to come out? The fact that he was a bully was enough to put a stop to this man, but people were so fearful. I just sit here and shake my head.

          1. I know, I realise all that now having read so many posts. I only looked at black box a few times and there was little on there, probably before you found him? Don’t know. Alice’s post about the blogroll comp is another good example (the one where he and I parted company), but we are rehashing old ground.

            It took so long to come out because people he couldn’t bully didn’t know what was happening because, like me, they shrugged their shoulders and walked and refused to be bullied. There is the crux of the problem. And the other is that people who wanted to be validated/accepted wouldn’t have listened anyway.

            You’ve answered all your own comments already in your blog. Don’t blame yourself. Or anyone else who was a victim. Me, I wouldn’t be wishing the lynch mob sweet dreams though.

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