So, What’s in Store for 2014?

meds

Do you make New Year’s Revolutions? I do, sometimes. I love the years when my resolution is to do more crossword puzzles and bam! I do it and I have stayed true to my word. Then there are the boring new year’s resolutions….diet, alcohol, exercise, smoking, etc. Those are the UnHoly Quadrangle of failed New Year’s Revolutions. I’m going to ignore them this year and resolve to keep track of all the books I read in 2014.

I am also hereby resolving to not fall down so much. I fell three times in the last two months of the year and I think that has to stop.ย  The first time I fell in the driveway. I stepped on my shoe lace and couldn’t recover my balance and I fell down and got a scrape on my knee! The second one was a wine-induced embarrassment. The 3rd and final one and the second which had NOTHING to do with wine was getting out of bed and stepping on the dog and going down hard. He barely moved. Now this update: I was just JUST walking down the stairs to go get something for lunch and my knee cracked and I almost FELL DOWN. Holy brittle bones, I’m going to be an old lady with a broken hip and a diaper on.

Not what I look like when I fall down.

Not what I look like when I fall down.

2014 New Years Revolutions:

  1. Record all books read over the course of the year. Currently reading “The Book Thief”.
  2. Stop falling down. Perhaps tie yoga into this somehow. But I don’t want to over-commit.

Other areas in need of resolution:

Career

I know the point of sending out the letters to every employee detailing what we made and what the company paid in benefits is intended to make employees grateful to know what our entire employment “package” is; but in reality, it’s just depressing. It’s nice that my employer pays for my insurance and I have good coverage and that really is why I’m working is to have health coverage. And I put away money in a 401k for retirement. I think I have enough saved up to rent a room from a friend and contribute to the grocery bill and maybe buy a hot plate, so I’ll be fine.

I’m going to be 49, I have a college degree and a brain, which is horribly underutilized, as I have endlessly bitched about here in this very blog.

I have these post it notes on my desk at work.

I have these post it notes on my desk at work.

I am meeting with a friend and colleague in January to do some brainstorming on how to get more non-profit project work since that is what makes me happy and where my expertise lies. I think I am well-positioned to take over all of the procurement for an event that I’m currently working on and that would be equal to about half of what I make at my stoopid office job just in one project!

Family

Family life is good, solid good. Except for the fact that my kids hate their high school, my 16-year-old and I bicker a lot and we need to integrate Derwood’s daughter into the mix.

My freshman year in high school I went to St. Mary’s Academy, an all girls school in downtown Portland. I hated it. Not because there were no boys but because the girls were bitches. Just B.I.T.C.H.E.S. After 6 weeks or 3 weeks or 4 days, my parents let me leave SMA and return to my hometown high school. This is how I feel for Brigid. She’s a freshman at a school she hates and I’m not going to make her suffer through three more years of a friendless existence so if she wants to transfer to her Portland high school, I’ll let her.

As for my junior in high school….It’s one more year. She has friends. Here’s my issue….plenty of teenagers throughout history have hated high school. Being a teenager is a pain in the ass. Hormones are literally making teens’ brain chemistry insane. I firmly believe that if a person’s high school years are the best of their lives, they are doing life wrong. No one should peak at 17.

For those of us who grew up prior to the 1980s, we didn’t have therapy. If you were miserable just suck it up. Life is hard and no one guaranteed anyone happiness or a rose garden. Am I just the heartless mother? I understand and empathize/sympathize whatever the “thize” is that I should be doing. I was a nightmare in high school. I was a crazy, hysterical teenager. That’s life.ย  But this current reliance on therapy and meds for every little twitch of angst is silly.

That being said, I do take Prozac (full disclosure). I guess I’m a hypocrite but I take it for anxiety. If I don’t take it, I constantly feel like I have left the iron on which can be distracting.

I saw a comedian on TV last week who was doing a bit on how the U.S. is over-medicated. We never heard about men on landing crafts on June 6, 1944 saying, “I’m a little anxious. Could you just give me a pill for the anxiety?”

hahahaha OK. I’m an asshole because I’m railing against exactly what I am doing. Fine, Annie can go to therapy. Probably good because she and I don’t get far in our discussions.

mother-insanity-usa-modern-family-ecards-someecardsParenting teenagers is hard. I so want them to be happy but I know they have to go through their own piles of crap to move on to the next chapter. The next chapters are much more exciting.

As for the integortion of Q into our daily lives. This may stun some of you but her mother doesn’t want her to be gone three days in a row. What?! I can’t imagine not wanting that alone time.ย  So there are some bumps in the road on that front but I don’t feel it is appropriate for me to stick my nose into that discussion. Any 2nd, 3rd marriage folks out there with experience in this area? Any advice?

Happy New Year from the O’Behrenson’s!

Back: Mitch and Derwood Front: (l to r) me, Brigid, Q, Annie, Nat (Derwood's first wife)

Back: Mitch and Derwood
Front: (l to r) me, Brigid, Q, Annie, Nat (Derwood’s first wife)

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26 thoughts on “So, What’s in Store for 2014?

  1. Brigitte says:

    New Year resolutions? Read, learn that Scrivener software I just bought and finish my book or just start a new one altogether. Get a professional website up (been meaning to do this for over a year now). Maybe get a real estate license. Accept people (that includes family) for who they are, which means love more, worry less. I think that’ll do it for me, Maggie. I think anxiety is just a part of who I am. Meditation helps me sometimes.

    Happy New Year, my friend.

  2. I have to stop falling down too–I have also fallen three times in the last month–and I am getting tired of it–love your whole post but am no help on the kid front–mine are in their twenties and I lived through it–that is all I have to say–oh yeah, and I am not completely insane

  3. Staying upright is a good plan.

    You can track your reading on goodreads.com – tried that? it’s quite fun but I found I read a lot less than I think I do ha ha ha.

    I’ve had good and bad experiences with therapy…but given my relationship (or not) with my son – might have been a good option for him earlier?! Go with your gut, your gut is good friend, even if your balance is shite ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And huge way to go getting that extended photo – I’m impressed with you all. x

  4. Love this Maggie…I did the stop falling down resolution after breaking my arms two years in a row. at Christmas ! .. I also take far more calcium than is recommended, and I’ve stopped falling down !!!
    As for the children of your blended marriage. There were four in my second husband’s family. I made no attempt to integrate them. I made it as easy as possible for them to be with their father, and didn’t try to have a relationship with them. That worked … I’ve never had any issues with them… they came and went as they felt like it with no pressures which made them feel guilty one way or the other… and 40 years later, now they’re all over the hill ( the eldest is 60) I still have this easy relaxed relationship with them – no expectations, just acceptance..
    Is that any help in your thinking about your situation… Happy New Year !
    I haven’t made ANY resolutions this year…except to keep growing younger….I’m an optimist and at 76 think it’s still possible !!!!
    PS you’re so right about leaving the iron on – brilliant. I laughed out loud !

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Oh Valerie! Thank you so much and I will take your words to heart. She has a room here if she wants to be here, she can be and if she doesn’t she doesn’t have to be. I so love your zen outlook on life.

      I think calcium should be on my 2014 list.

      Is it New Years there yet? All my best to you in 2014. I consider you one of my most favorite teachers and look forward to reading your blog over the next year. You always know the right thing to say. xoxo maggie

      • Sweet thing – thank you Maggie – I always enjoy reading yours – especially when there’;s a chance of a giggle… quite one of my favourites was when you won an award, and answered all the questions with some golfing wisdom, or what iron you used for this stroke or that. I read it aloud to my husband.!
        Love Valerie, and happy new year – yes, it’s our NY Eve tonight…XXX

  5. Gee Mag since everyone else is commenting so intelligently about your reading, falling and family matters, allow me to deviate. I wish you success on escaping your Grind and finding a more rewarding career path in 2014. But yeah, it would be nice if you stayed upright more. That might look good at a job interview.

  6. Fabulous resolutions! Last year, mine was to go on holiday more and my friend’s was to drink more champagne. We stuck to them and it went well! I also went to a girl’s school and hated it some days because of the bitchiness but it was a good school so I can now see the benefits in having spent 7 years there. P.S. How was your Christmas?

  7. Sandra says:

    This was a good blog Mags. I’ve known how the girls feel about school andf we’;ve talked about it. I feel if Brigid sticks through this year, and gets on the dance group, I think she’ll have a changer of heart. I’d like to see her get the best education that she can. But I know it’s the L.O. girls. I hope it gets better, but I trust your judgement. Valerie’s reply to you was right on. I agree with everything she said. There is something very wise about those in their 70’s. So you can ask me anything, and I won’t offer advice unless asked. I think you’re a wonderful mother, and I’m proud of you. The teen years can be hell for all parents. XO

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Thanks Sandy! I think Brigid could excel anywhere, she’d have to take AP courses if she went to Wilson. I hope you are right and she gets on varsity dance and then this is all a non-issue. Brigid is a reasonable kid, I trust her judgement.

      Happy New Year! I owe you a steak dinner! xoxoxo

  8. What is it really that as we make New Year resolutions, many of them remain consigned to the paper on which they have been jotted down? Why is it that what we actually end up doing is at significant variance to what we set out to do? The answers to these questions can support us with a lot of awareness.

    Happy new year! Have fun and continue to be amazing.

    Shakti

  9. El Guapo says:

    I was sent to therapy in grade school for being uncontrollable. Fortunately, medication wasn’t used then like it is now.
    As far as you using it, it seems like there’s a push to medicate any kid for any reason these days. You sound like you get a good benefit from it. I hope you can come to a good understanding with her.

    I think if I have a falling problem, I would just lie down more. And get a fridge installed under the bed.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      She has been to therapy before for horrible anxiety she had while my mom was sick/dying and I get that. Yesterday we had a good talk so hopefully she can understand that high school is drama, that’s just what it is.

      Put the fridge UNDER the bed….hmmmm.

      Can you believe yesterday I went out to get the newspaper, not hungover, and slipped on some moss and almost fell down in the driveway?! For pete’s sake.

  10. Kathleen says:

    Is that an Irish thing? As your also prior 80’s, Irish sister-from-another-mother, anytime I whined about ANYTHING, my mother’s go-to answer was, “I never promised you a rose garden”. It always baffled me. You know, I never ASKED for a rose garden, and I don’t currently want one, so its a good thing you never promised me one. Right. (??)

  11. […] Maggie behind except for my reading list which I will update because I love lists and it was my New Year’s Resolution to track how many books I read in 2014 and people always need book reading […]

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