The Gospel Christmas Concert Yule Log

For the second year in a row, my sister Molly organized a festive night out to attend the Oregon Symphony’s Gospel Christmas concert which is a fabulous arm waving, hand clapping night of Hallelujahs, fun for believer and non-believer alike!

This year my friend Danni came with me. We drove downtown to meet the rest of the group at the Brasserie Montmartre for snacks and schwinks before the event. We parked my car on the fifth floor of the Galleria Smart Park. I followed Danni’s lead and walked down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Danni didn’t notice until I pointed it out to her that there was a human turd yule log on the landing between the fourth and fifth floors. GAG!!! ACK!!! Screaming and gagging and not touching anything, we ran down the rest of the stairs. I didn’t even want to touch the air in that stairwell I was so entirely completely in toto GROSSED OUT!!!

What in the name of Emmanuel is that all about?!?!

I have been thinking of major cities I have visited without ever seeing a pile of human shit in public (not even in private).

Honolulu, San Francisco, Seattle, Boise, Denver, Austin, Dallas, Chicago, Philadelphia (Filthadelphia and no human excrement), Columbus, New York, Boston, Washington D.C. (leaving Capitol Hill out of this), Orlando, Vancouver BC, Toronto, Paris, Zurich. Not one human dump have I seen. I know because if I had, that is something that I would remember.

Screeeeech!!!! So disgusting!!!!

So, what up Portland? Portland is known to be very accommodating to homeless people. Occupy Portland really only required the relocation of tent dwellers to a more central location in front of the courthouse. Portland has built public toilet facilities expressly for the homeless (apparently they don’t want to use them). Portland has dedicated indoor toilet facilities for the homeless. The city allows homeless camps to set up and ultimately destroy businesses that have been at the same location for years. Downtown Portland is rife with aggressive pan handlers . I would sooner let my children walk around Times Square in NYC at night than I would Pioneer Square in Portland.

That being said, the charity I support the most is Portland Rescue Mission. The people who are lined up outside PRM’s location on Burnside are not the homeless I’m discussing here. I’m not talking about 65-year-old Vietnam vets who came back to a hostile nation after a tour in hell and never recovered. I’m not talking about the families who have fallen on hard times and rely on Portland Homeless Family Solutions to shelter their children.

I’m talking about the assholes who are destroying the draw of downtown Portland.

This is outside the downtown Macy's store. Photo credit: Victoria Taft
This is outside the downtown Macy’s store. Photo credit: Victoria Taft

Portland has made it very convenient for street kids or “travelers” to hang out in the heart of downtown Portland. Some of them receive one way bus tickets from other cities to come here. They are healthy young people who could find jobs however menial but working would cramp their “lifestyle”. It is easier to panhandle and live off the grid in Portland, go all Portlandia and Keep It Weird and dangerous and disgusting. Last summer one of these young people smashed a 70-year-old man in the head with a skateboard.

It’s a shame because Portland is so pretty. It’s ironic because the Portland city motto seen on all city vehicles is “The City that Works”. HA! Works at what? Portland is so bizarrely focused on a “progressive, Keep Portland Weird” agenda that the city is destroying the downtown core with this crap (literally).


This show is so fabulous and uplifting and fun! I was amazed again this year at the talent of the singers and conductors. I don’t know how they aren’t famous. The voices soar. The conductor, the choir director, all the performers are so happy and the joy is palpable throughout the venerable Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall.

Northwest Community Gospel Choir singers.
Northwest Community Gospel Choir singers.

Here’s another ridiculous Portland reality… The Gospel Christmas concert is performed by a predominantly African American choir and the audience??? Yep, bunch of white people. “Progressive” Portland is one of the most segregated cities I have ever been to. Visitors from East of the Rockies are quick to notice how very white the city is.

Portland has so much going for it. It is a beautiful spot on this planet. Housing prices are now a tad more reasonable than they were before the crash in 2008. We have a fabulous food scene, a great symphony and many renowned theater and dance companies. But the bizarre Portlandia mindset is endangering the Rose City’s much touted livability factor.

Sorry Portland, no Christmas card from me this year. Not that I would be allowed to say Christmas.  HoHoHo

5 thoughts on “The Gospel Christmas Concert Yule Log

  1. I might choose a less visited spot because it would certainly be odd to be walking down the steps and happen upon a pooping human. Dogs are already funny enough. That’s my input for the day…have a good afternoon!

  2. Jane

    I am with you on the Good Homeless and the Corner Losers. On Grand Floral Parade Eve, I went to set up our contest winners seats in front of our business on 4th/Morrison. At 12 pm there were homeless (?) with approx. 20 matching, numbered 2 man tents set up already. The city lent them the tents. Really. I suppose so they would look “tidy” for the out of town visitors? I never did find out why.
    What they actually ended up doing was stealing spots from families that had set up and slept out on that block for 10+ years. The tent people packed up and left before 7 a.m., after the regulars had already relocated. We told them they gave the homeless of Portland a bad name.

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