Yeah, Maggie Why Don’t You Write a Post. That’s a Great Idea.

It is just one of those days. I don’t want my readers to think that I’m always the effervescent, charming, witty, slim and beautiful woman portrayed in my blog posts. Because I’m not. I suck.

I’m stupid and lazy and I didn’t vacuum the bedroom and there is Mudd fur all over it.

I’m tired.

I’m cold.

I’m hot.

I have a double chin.

I need a pedicure.

Why didn’t I do laundry last night?

Why am I so bad with money?

I hate my job because I have nothing to do. I didn’t get into work until noon because my boss is gone and I couldn’t bear to sit and read the stupid news on the computer for 8 hours again today.

My skin is dry and red.

I still haven’t had my car’s oil changed.

I’m fat, ugly and stupid.

I want to go home.

WordPress doesn’t think “pedicure” is a word.

I may be hormonal. A little bit.

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34 thoughts on “Yeah, Maggie Why Don’t You Write a Post. That’s a Great Idea.

  1. Typical. Married and letting yourself go already.

  2. thomasnwafor says:

    You could do with reading my last blog posts, not spamming, read them and get inspired. By the way your only human, well I presume you are lol

  3. me too
    me too
    me too
    me too
    me too
    me too
    only difference between you and me is my skin is not red
    sometimes we have these days

  4. Love yourself! Be inspired by my beautiful things and see yourself as one of them! 🙂

  5. You are not stupid and fat and ugly. Laundry is dumb. There will still be laundry to do when you are dead. I don’t even post because I am sick of myself. So you have me beat there. Work is also dumb, and so is dog hair. love you.

  6. There there, adjust your glasses, take a good long look in the mirror, book a pedicure and the world will be right again.Feet up, a nice cuppa tea and you’ll be as right as rain. Your husband didn’t marry a fat, ugly, lazy person with double chins and multiple personalities, you’re just having one of those days.It’ll soon be over and hugs from hubby will put the world right.
    xxx Hugs xxx

  7. Tilda says:

    ‘that sounds really hard’, poor Misc Mags ~ thanks for being brave enough to take off your red cape, and show you are human like the rest of us.
    Go home, have some wine and chocolate, get a kiss from Derwood, and try not to bump your nail.
    And I hope things are better for you tomorrow xxx

  8. Addie says:

    Chocolate. And single malt whiskey. And Love, Actually.

    You’ll thank me tomorrow.

  9. unfetteredbs says:

    I see we woke up on the same dude of the bed this morning.
    You forgot one thing. You have a very beautiful smile.
    And I’m ready to call it a day myself

  10. At the risk of sounding like a black cohosh spokesperson, are you taking it twice a day? It might help alleviate your internal thermostat discomfort.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Black cohosh is spitting in the wind for these kind of days. Let me cheer you up. Am starting corporation, signed all legal papers last week. Am in over head. Terrified. Had to take son to dentist for ‘practice’ to fill a cavity bc I appartently don’t watch him brush enough, and allow him to eat sugar. Like all the time. Get back in time to have meeting with super-powerful smart woman who I have agreed to co-chair an enormous event that raises funds that lots of people depend on. Am really, really over my head. Rush home from that meeting, now fueled by two venti coffees, black, and sweating like crazy. Run into Zen-contractor who is supposed to build us a deck, but I am concerned he will be my grandchildrens’ godfather if he doesn’t pick up the pace. He wants to talk about stuff that I neither understand nor NEED to understand. He talks so long, that my 90 minutes I had scheduled to take a calming run in the park is gone. GONE! I am saved by the phone ringing. Thank God. It is my vet. My cat has cat herpes. His face is swollen and he has a red patch under his nose. My cat is Hilter with Herpes. Unfortunately, I also have two foster kittens, who I HIGHLY suspect as the source. Vet wants to know if I can isolate the kittens. Has she ever seen a kitten? they are not cooperating with the whole stay in one place thing. Vet is now chiding me about how I need to wash my feet and hands and change all the bedding three times a day for the cats (all). I don’t have the heart to tell her I haven’t even had time to shower yet today (it is 4pm). Oh well, shit happens and I call the foster office to report Calicia (cat herpes). Go from being Foster Heroine, to Typhoid Mary in about three seconds. So now I am embarrassed about this, knowing full well that IT CAME FROM THOSE DAMN KITTENS. But whatever, I am now grabbing groceries for the people who live in my house who want, very much, food to eat and am describing various drippings and reddnesses over the phone, to the disgust of people trying to buy food. Get home, kitten are quarantined but farting so bad when have to run the fan. Make a nice dinner…. chops and pear sauce and potatos and cabbage salad. Ask youngest to clean kitten box after dinner so I can do dishes. She comes right back down, white as a sheet, and has vomited all over the laundry where the kittens are sequestered. So, now I have dirty dishes, vomit and a cat box with two wormy, diseased little kittens to contend with and the husband just sort of eyes me with a “You volunteered for this” look that told me I was going it alone. I then watched the Portland Timbers play Dallas on what appeared to be a big LiteBrite, guess they don’t have wifi in Dallas, they won, the kitchen was cleaned, the kittens got baths and are snuggled with the girls, the husband has Hitler on his lap who seems content despite it all, and I realize I have the best life in the world, even when it is in disguise. Freaking Ninja type diguise, I will grant you, but nothing really bad happened all day. I just stopped and thought about it too much. What does Dory say to Nemo? Just keep swimmin’?

  12. Sometimes things just suck – they just do and then the next day comes and suckage is much less ~ I suck with money and don’t vacuum or do laundry nearly enough (when compared to some sort of scale of housekeeping) ….but Meh – it will still be around later, right?

  13. Sadly this is very close to my list – especially the physical bits and the fat, ugly, stupid… oh hell, everything else, too. Except for the pedicure weirdness – what’s up with that?
    Of course you are none of those things – you are beautiful and lovely, super smart and sassy — You’re just having a crap day. I’m writing this days late so hopefully by now you’ve been comforted by the wonderful Derwood. 🙂 When I visit (soon I hope) you, me, Lily and the hoseband will all go out, right? Good times. 😀

  14. […] I did a ton of links and shit on here because I am lazy and realized I have not been on here very much.  : )  I was also inspired by Maggie’s Post […]

  15. I just ate chocolate covered rice cakes for breakfast. Four of them. It has not started well today. I may be writing a post similar to this tonight….

  16. hey–at least you posted on your blog:)

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