I Have Issues, You Can Bank On It

Please continue reading after you say, “duh”.

This morning I woke thinking, “I know Key Bank is going to piss me off today.”

And they did.

How did I know KeyBank was going to piss me off today?

Because I paid my mortgage last week and I deposited a check (not cash) last week. The check wasn’t to cover the whole mortgage but maybe a dollar or two and I’m not kidding. I knew that KeyBank’s computers would process the mortgage debit first, call me overdrawn by a dollar for five seconds and then process the stupid online fee for paying my mortgage online (thank you US Bank Home Mortgage, you, too, suck balls), overdraw the account by let’s say 65 cents and charge me another overdraft fee and THHHHENNNNNN, the computer processed the check that covered that $1.65 and much more as I knew it would.

I just checked my Key Online Account and ohh you betcha, they charged me $74 ($37 each) for two overdrafts. I KNEW it you KeyBank bastards! I called Key, waited while the online banking guy directed me to the overdraft lady. I explained it all to her and explained that I knew what had happened but I can see the “clear” dates as well as she can and I know all the money was in there on the processing date.

She was very nice. “I can refund one of those charges as a courtesy.”

And I said, in a not yelling voice, “I need you to refund both of those charges because we both know they are not legitimate and your computer processing is rigged to overdraw people as much as possible. If you cannot refund BOTH the charges, then please send me up the food chain to someone who can.”

She puts me on hold. Few minutes of classical music. And ta dahhhhh….they are refunded. But thanks for raising my blood pressure for a few. Jerks.

As for my other issues….it’s my followers. No not you my Readers who Follow me but the new followers many of whom I don’t think are reading. Sure I can strut my 1400+ followers but I think that hundreds of them are selling time shares and wanting to help me with the size of my manhood or technical issues, which could be one in the same thing if I needed help with either one of them.

I don’t think that “Love is Never Die” is a real blog. Most of its blogs are written in boxes not letters.

I don’t need any help with real estate in Toronto and there doesn’t seem to be a man behind the curtain on that one.

Oh wait! Coastal Waters is real and she (I think) is new so I have followed her to help get her going. Coastal you need an “About” page. And put up some photos of the 100 year old dawg 🙂

I thought joshrhyne sounded like a real guy but he’s not, he wants to help me make money with my blog.

In looking at my followers, I went waaaayyy back to the beginning. And it is wonderful to see the followers who are now my friends including Hello Sailor, Dotty Headbanger (she’s baaaack!), Itty Bitty Boomer, Brigitte, Unfettered BS, Jen and Tonic and Emily at The Waiting. Those are the folks on the very last pages of my followers list who I have come to know over the past year or so. Thank you all for doing what you do.

Now, ahem, WordPress…what up with all these spammers???


37 replies to “I Have Issues, You Can Bank On It

  1. Banks make me very very angry. Very angry indeed. Their computers are evil and can’t be won over with charm and wit so I hate them. I love you though, Maggie. You’re no bank computer.

    1. Thanks Don. You’re no computer yourself. What really pisses me off is they are planning for people to be too lazy, too stupid, too frightened to call them on this crap. They know they’re doing it. Buggers.

  2. I hate banks as much as I hate car dealerships. Seriously.
    Yeah, what’s up with all the spam? Whatever, even if they’re not human I’ll take them as followers. I have no dignity.
    We were brought together by one egomaniac who shall remain nameless. 😀
    I feel blessed to have crossed paths with you, misc. Maggie. We are an amazing group of women, are we not?
    The weight loss was a simple plan of 2 hours of daily Zumba and starvation. Having someone in my life that makes me “happy” hasn’t hurt either. *wink* I’ve come to learn that nothing short of starving would do the trick – once we turn 50 our fat turns to glue and doesn’t come off. That’s my scientific explanation. Since you have Deren your motivation isn’t as dire as mine. My road ahead will be as bumpy as my cellulite. Lol! Just kidding, I don’t have any cellulite. 😀
    I will email you. xoxoxo!!!

  3. I got some lake property….you interested????? haha! Kidding. If I had lake property I’d be there myself! I get spam, we all do it seems lately. Wonder if WP did something different? Like open a back door?

    1. I do wonder Jackie because this is fairly new don’t you think? It used to be the people who followed were reading and you got to know them, odd.

      Please let me just wire you some money for the lake property. And will you help my uncle in Nigeria save some money?

      1. the spamming thing does seem recent, I agree. Oh yeah! Send the money through the bank and I’ll be glad to help the old uncle out. ha! (I don’t like banks either)

  4. Maggie, It is Coastal and yes! I am real. It is funny you should get angry with a bank as I was a banker for 15 years long before the financial crisis of 2007-2008 thru infinity at this rate. I am glad you stood up for yourself, more people should do that when they have clear evidence of a wrong by their bank. However, I know what it is like to KNOW that they are going to piss you off and NO surprise, they do. That makes you even angrier or madder (as in Englishmen in the noon day sun). In defense of banks (although they really have no defense because they brought all of this animus upon themselves) they have to make money and they can’t make it making loans anymore so they charges fees like the airlines do. Next we will be charged for a deposit, a fee for looking our balance up online, a fee for googling their name! The only way we can call a stop to it is CALL HALT as loud as possible. You are doing a service to all those KeyBank and all bank customers so keep it up! P.S. I know I need to “about” myself…

    1. My sister works for a bank and she told me today, all banks have to do it because interest rates are so low and they aren’t making loans so they are going nuts with fees. Partly my bad because I know I should join a credit union but I’m too lazy 🙂

      So glad you are here! Go write an About so we know who you are!!!

  5. Banks! We don’t need no stinking banks! Or something like that.

    Well, I’m a proud follower of this and a few other blogs written by amazing women. All of you make my life a better place…the men do, too, still, there is that bone deep connection women have that men don’t get.

    Glad to see via comments our Grippy is moving along nicely. Makes me smile–just as you do, Mags.

  6. Banks are a pain ! The managers are concentrating on their next bonus instead of on their customers.
    Spammers are the pits. I had a friendship group which I’ve had to close since I was getting so many spammers who then added photos of their products. So far, I’ve only had two try for my blog in a year.
    I hope you don’t have the same problems next mortgage payment, though you’d be best sticking to payments in cash if you can.
    xx Hugs xx

    1. Banks are a pain and in the US, I can’t pay my mortgage in cash. I also can’t pay it every two weeks which would be even easier. The client is always right as long as they do what the bank wants. Grrrrr….

  7. Amazing how time flies, eh Maggie? You are one of the very first blogs I followed– and I am so very glad that I did. I’ve met some pretty amazing peeps — yourself very much included.

    I’ve gotten a bunch of spam-0-lot followers too. I have not even been writing AND I deleted everything haaa what the hell??

    Why anyone(you) would follow a crack pot like me.. I have no idea. But i am glad you do.

  8. Thanks for the shout-out, Mags. We go wayyyyy back. Remember when you made me that Brigitte Bardot badge? It’s still on my awards page. I think you are hilarious and just one of those kick-ass women. I’ve met many fine folks here, you included, that I’m proud to call my friend. And yeah, what IS up with the spammer followers and how do they find us to follow? You rock. xo

  9. Sounds like your banks are just as ‘good’ as ours! Those fees are extraordinary. Glad you were able to be refunded.

    Sometimes I wish we had the ability to ‘unfollow’ trolls from our blogs. I know we can block their comments, but I’d really like to be able to have more control over who I allow to see my writing.

    One hint about spammers – if you include media, click ‘none’ in the ‘link to’ option. Links are how spammers find hooks to your blog.

    1. Freakin’ banks.

      The spammers don’t comment on my blog ever but they just follow it. I keep looking and it’s more and more “how to make money while blogging” sort of sites. I can’t delete them?

      1. The spammers are responsible for your askimet results. I think a lot of people follow blogs [in order to get more followers themselves], then block the feed from their Reader page, without unfollowing you. And no, unfortunately, you can’t delete a follower from your blog, I wish you could.

  10. I had a similar issue lately at the hospital with the booking process (for my daughter) – you’ve said it much more eloquently about the bank issue 😉

    I share you wonder about the new followers.. !!

  11. Ugh, banking. They DO always take the one out before putting in the other. Oh, ooopsie. I have more problems with doctors’ offices. Really want to strangle those guys out front sometimes, though they’re probably just following orders from the doctors cowering back behind the curtain.

    One guy I thought was spam turned out to be real! Who knew? But I’m not clicking on some of them to find out. I don’t want computer STDs.

  12. I had KeyBank when I lived in Georgia. Som’ Bitches. After six months, I closed my account and kept my money under the ice trays in my freezer. The interest rate was perfect because, in the freezer, I had no access to it when I was out.

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