Do You Feel Lucky, Boss Man?

I’m leaving work at 1:15 this afternoon to take my sister to have Lasik surgery so she won’t have to wear contact lenses anymore. After the 20 minute surgery, I will take her home and get her in bed, go pick up my 5-year-old nephew, Matt, and enjoy the rest of the beautiful afternoon and then spend the night with them before getting my hair cut and colored in the morning.

Yesterday I went into my boss’ office and said, “My sister is having surgery tomorrow and I need to pick her up at 1:30 and take her and then take care of my nephew so I have to leave early.” He said, “okay” and then started talking about my nephew.

See how I played that?

Some of the ladies may have caught it.

If a woman says “surgery” to her male boss, she may as well say “uterus” or “ovaries”. He’s not going to touch the word “surgery”….whatever it is, just go. The key is the delivery.

“My sister is having surgery.” And then just give him a level stare, lots of eye contact. Nope, I’m not going to elaborate, all I said was the word “surgery”.

Go ahead, ask me, “What kind of surgery?”

Could be an ingrown toenail, could be genital warts.

Do you feel lucky?

Could be Lasik laser corrective eye surgery. Could involve an anal probe.

You don’t know, sir, do you?

Do you want to discuss my sister’s reproductive organs with me, Boss? or do you just want to let me go on my merry way and you can go back to work and breathe a sigh of relief that you didn’t just hear me say “cervix”.

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32 thoughts on “Do You Feel Lucky, Boss Man?

  1. Ha, that reminds me of when I was in gym class and I wanted to be excused. We used to just tell our male gym teacher, “I don’t feel well, I’m having some….problems.” He always just assumed it was female problems and excused us quickly because he didn’t want to know any more. I think I had “female problems” for almost the whole time I was I high school.

  2. Shady bitches with your nasty inside lady bits. Take all the time you need, but please make a fresh pot of coffee before you go.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      True story when I had my first child, I went from managing the company’s PR to being the CEO’s part time assistant so I could work part time. One day the CEO asked me to make coffee for a meeting and I told him that I didn’t (and still don’t) know how to make coffee and I don’t drink coffee. He said he would show me how and I said I didn’t want to learn because then people would be asking me to make coffee.

      He just walked away, a bit confused. šŸ™‚

  3. Well played hand. Remind me not to play poker with you! Enjoy the gorgeous day with your nephew.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      I don’t know that I have much of an actual poker face. You don’t want to play cards with me because I am both a bad winner and a bad loser…all for entertainment’s sake šŸ™‚

  4. SocietyRed says:

    Maggie,
    And that can be used over and over again.
    Since “my testicles hurt” doesn’t get the same respect I had to come up with my own deflector. I use “gastronomical difficulties”. Works every time.
    Red

  5. oh maggie you trickster you – glad it worked

  6. Andrew says:

    This is exactly what they teach ninjas at ninja school. Use all weapons at your disposal to conquer thy enemy.

  7. twistedchica says:

    It is so funny, but true. Guys do NOT want to hear about lady-parts surgery. Not. At. All. heehee…scaredy-cats.

  8. Margarita says:

    Well done Maggie! Now I’m eager to hear about the good times with Matthew. Hope your sister’s feeling well and your hair looks GORGEOUS! xoxoM

  9. Katelyn says:

    Bravo you brilliant piece of work! Hope your sister recovers speedily… eye surgery gives me the creeps!

  10. I do appreciate the educational component of your posts, Oh Clever One. Unfortunately, my boss is a woman, but fortunately, I’m a lesbian and she’s a bleeding heart liberal, so if I can work a gay angle into whatever I have going on, I have a free pass. A few weeks ago when I asked for the day off to serve as a witness at a same sex wedding, that rated an instant yes. She also let me leave work early when Milton and I had tickets to attend a Barbra Streisand tribute, but the boss was going to that, too, so she also left early.

    Don’t wedding bells ring for you next Saturday?

  11. Well played my dear. Well played.

  12. Any female worth her weight should know this tried and true technique. Works like a charm, oh, and the steady eye contact… good tip.
    I think this post could be freshly pressed under the heading of Service or Instructional, right?

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