National Book Award Books Double As Sominex

Sure I’m in the midst of planning a wedding (going to get Derwood a ring and a suit tonight), church up the street says we can use their parking lot, booked algae wrap for morning of wedding (that is to wrap me in algae not to wrap up my algae).

Yes, I just finished working on a huge event for Dress for Success and it was a great success (I think about a $300k night) and I am most definitely a Greater Giving software EXPERT now. Yeah, expert… I said it.

Indeed I do have more duties at my job and I do those diligently, pretty much.

All of that is true but it doesn’t mean that I’m no longer a great intellect.

I still am.

I read.

I can read.

I’m just having trouble getting into a book right now.

I don’t know what my problem is.Ā  I read Cold Sassy Tree and that was a fine book, good story, entertaining. I then started reading All the Kings Men and fumbled and stopped. I couldn’t get into The Art of Fielding or Mink River. I tried reading a book about the Mitford sisters but again, it just didn’t take off for me.

A few days ago I picked up Three Junes by Julia Glass. It won the National Book Award, you have to figure it’s gotta be good. And it’s fine. Last night I was reading it, doing that thing where you flip through the pages to see how soon the chapter ends so you can turn the light out, and Derwood is next to me chuckling through Bill Bryson’sĀ  A Walk in the Woods. I’ve only read Bryson’s Neither Here, Nor There but I loved it! Why did I give that book to Derwood? I should have kept it for me and then I would be cheerily plowing through a book instead of trying to figure out how soon I can stop reading.

It hit me last night, “Wait a minute! This is a National Book Award Winner! I hate National Book Award Books!” Gah! I forgot!

This morning I Googled the list of National Book Award Winners and realized I have read winners Cold Mountain (this is prescribed when Ambien or a sledgehammer to the back of the head doesn’t work for insomnia), The Shipping News (SERIOUSLY, what the hell was the big deal about this book???), Charming Billy (how is it possible for a book about an Irish drunk to be this boring?). I couldn’t read more than two pages of All the Pretty Horses (I think that’s how it goes with Cormac McCarthy, you either love him or bend forks into your eyes like on the cover of that Scorpions album that I owned on cassette but had to turn the cover inside out because it scared me.) Dale Loves Sophie to Death, good enough, I remember not detesting this book.

You know who has won two National Book Awards? William Faulkner! Holy hell balls there’s the problem, if Faulkner can win two of these damn things I must hate National Book Award Books.

Who is selecting these books?

Ohhhh, you’re on the jury?

Now you hate me and my blog? I’ll never work in this bidness again?

GOOD! It’s worth it to not have to read another National Book Award Book EVER again!

54 replies to “National Book Award Books Double As Sominex

  1. We are in a full run of all David Baldacci’s books, if you like excitement. He has a gift of words adn an insurmountable knowledge that surprises you.
    We love all his books.

  2. I am 100% with you on this. All the above mentioned books are totally dull. When you mentioned Charming Billy I almost fell asleep just hearing that title again. Ugh! I never put 2 and 2 together to find the common denominator, but now I know. The damn National Book Awards. It sounds so prestigious and so I get suckered into buying, only to get home and want to slit my wrists several chapters in. By the way, “Notes From a Small Island” is also hysterical – I went through a stage when I wanted to marry Bill Bryson. If only I could have…
    Love this post girl friend.
    I apologize for not emailing YIPES! I think about it daily but I’ve been in a crazy busy spiral that I can’t get out of. I think when I email you I need time to put my thoughts together- I need balance. Maybe I should just call you? It would be easier. hahah!
    Hope the wedding plans are going off without a hitch. (but you know there will be a hitch, just like the Thanksgiving turkey, right?) Anyhoo… I love you, I have you on my mind and DO want to catch up soon!! Very soon!! XOXOXOXO!!!

    1. You know what is another good one but not by Bill Bryson? The Sex Lives of Cannibals. Not kidding. Really funny travel memoir.

      We’ll catch up soon when both of us can catch our breath! xo

    1. My daughter asked me the other day if I had read The Sound and the Fury. “I have taken a college exam on The Sound and The Fury, have I read it? Uh, no.”

      1. I took an entire class just in Faulkner. It is too many moons ago to remember specifics but It was my favorite class in college. And I took it by choice.

      1. Not in Iowa yet – that happens soon, but I am on the road to other just as cool destinations! My best friend (and first college roommate) hails from Iowa and I visit them at least twice a year. Go Hawkeyes!

    1. did you read Edgar Sawtelle? That’s an Oprah book and so beautiful and then you get to the end and apparently the author was just tired of writing and stopped.

      1. Is that a recent recommendation? I read one of the books she recommended early on, forget which one, waited for it to get good, got put through the wringer and at the end I thought “what just happened here? Anything?” and didn’t get sucked into another recommendation again! xoxoM

  3. Um…hello…you have a good friend who works for the library, remember? We do our own favorite books of the year – My favorite book of 2012 was Wild by Cheryl Strayed (if you haven’t read it, go get it right now). It was an Oprah pick but Cheryl is a Portland girl so she gets extra credit points. Other favorites from 2012: Gone Girl, The Middlesteins, Where’d You Go, Bernadette, The Age of Miracles, and Beautiful Ruins. Plus you can always trust Nancy Pearl for good recommendations – she rocks.

    1. Um hello? I am going to go check out your list! Hope all is well…any plans to visit the Rose City any time soon? or even not soon? We can stalk Cheryl Strayed.

  4. I usually do my best to stay clear if all intellectual books, so I haven’t read any of the titles you mentioned. I have read a few Cormac McCarthy books, and have found them entertaining, almost morbidly fascinating. They’re usually pretty dark, so I find my sensitive psyche can only handle one a year. Good luck on your search – if you find a book worth reading, be sure to let us know!

      1. Spelling is hard! And apparently reading is hard, too. I’m impressed that you have read any Cormac McCarthy books. I find them punishing, like James Joyce punishing.

        1. Definitely never even attempted reading James Joyce, although I have been to a bar named after him. That’s got to count for something?

  5. Totally normal. I agree with your disagreeing of Life of PI. Couldn’t get into it.
    Love Walk in the Woods.
    Try pattern reading ā€” one smarty pants non-fiction, then 2 breeze books. one smarty pants, and so on and so on.
    As I type this I’m reading a book on Mao. Fascinating look…zzzzzzz.

  6. I so relate to what you’re saying here! Books are such a commitment, and I’m obsessed with getting the most bang for my buck/time, and so this makes committing to a book difficult but LET ME JUST SAY that if you’ve yet to read Jenny Lawson’s “Let’s Pretend this Never Happened,” then I must highly recommend it. PS I MISSED YOU. PS I NEED MORE WEDDING DETAILS! I’m going to retro-stalk your recent posts now to see what I can find. Don’t mind me.

    1. Ok, I’m going to look for that book b/c that sounds like me, I’ve spent plenty of time telling people that exact thing.

      I miss you too dahling! I will post a pic of the dress. And I need to get my fabulous coral heels which are coming in the mail. Went shopping for Derwood and he is going to look so Mad Men. And I have signs that my friend painted.

      Gotta go get prettified for yet another auction. It’s for a Catholic high school so bound to be entertaining.

      Stalk on!

  7. My advice is to read books about food. I never find those boring. I’m reading a book called The Garden Cottage Diaries right now. It’s about a woman who decides to live like she’s from the 18th century. She lives with no electricity, grows her own vegetables, chops firewood and wears 18th century clothes! Brilliant!

  8. Oo, and another one, a writer called Jessica Ruston does the type of books I can’t put down. They are ridiculous fun. Look out for her first two, Luxury or To Touch The Stars.

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