Around My World in 80 Days

80 days from today Derwood and I are getting married. I couldn’t be happier and I wish we were married now. But we’re not. We have to have a wedding and then we will be married.

I started feeling a little odd last night and the feeling was still with me this morning. It took me a bit to identify it…ahhh, yes… anxiety!

I’m getting married in 80 days!!!

I have got to lose at least another 10 lbs. I have to find a dress.

This is cute but you would be able to see my stupid tattoo.
This is cute but you would be able to see my stupid tattoo.
Love this. Need to have tattoo lasered off.
Love this. Need to have tattoo lasered off.

Shoes that don’t hurt my feet. Check with pal Kitty and see if there are such a thing as wedding clogs. Have my hair colored. Rent a tent. Figure out flowers.

Something simple like this.
Something simple like this.

Food? Cake?

Pretty and traditional
Pretty and traditional
Add a little personality, a little Palm Springs 1963
Add a little personality, a little Palm Springs 1963

Power wash the decks and patio. Make my yard beautiful.

It looked like this last year, it must look like this again.
It looked like this last year, it must look like this again.

There’s a lot of dog shit that needs to be shoveled. I will pay $17 an hour for that service.

I need to invite people. There will be in the neighborhood of 50 people.

I like this one but with our names on it.
I like this one but with our names on it.
Or just leave the reservation with something like this?
Or just leave the reservation with something like this?

What are the girls going to wear? What is Derwood going to wear? Will the Church up the street let me use their parking lot?

Mudd can stay at Mitch’s to avoid a Brady Bunch Tiger debacle. Will Mitch want to come? I want him there if he wants to be there. Should I board the kitten because I’m concerned she has no fear of anything and will be murdered by Wile E. Coyote if she goes outside but I have to have the French doors open for the wedding so there is a good flow from the kitchen to the deck to the tented patio.

These are the questions I have. What am I missing? Why didn’t my parents leave me more money? Are paper plates gauche? Will I have a hangover? What if there is a monsoon and the tent blows down? Just wine, beer and champagne? Does my sister still have my grandparents little bride and groom for the cake? Do I need music? Will an IPod do?

80 days and counting.

31 thoughts on “Around My World in 80 Days

      1. unfetteredbs

        I am with Fish on this one… elope. But I get it. i wish you weren’t having all these anxieties– and nothing I say will help. So just try to have fun with it Maggie. It is really all about you, D and those you love celebrating a new beginning and commitment.

    1. I’m thinking of paying the kids to shovel shit. Does Matt want to earn some money? πŸ™‚ Do you have the little cake people? Where should I get a cake? What are you going to wear? What if I get shingles?

      1. Anonymous

        Well in my opinion lambs bakery makes the best effing cake in town. But that is probably not a very fancy suggestion.

        I can help with music stuff too! And by “I,” I of course mean “my husband.”

        I do not have the cake people. Katie maybe?

        1. Anonymous

          Also: I would do beer, wine and champagne. If you really think it’s needed maybe do one fun cocktail in addition to that. I’ll be over there with the champagne.

          I think paper plates would be fine but I bet we (we!) can come up with something better/more fun that’s economical.

  1. Love that second dress. Your wedding will be perfect. I had mine in our backyard and it was one of the best days of my life. We hired a young woman we heard playing in a coffeehouse to play the wedding march (college kid and a cute kind of hippie girl) and found an awesome photographer from the nearby college — the pics were GREAT.

    And happy belated birthday. All will be well, you’ll see.

  2. I too love that second dress. But why laser off the tattoo? Unless you were planning on doing it anyway, why not flaunt the tat in that dress? We did the full official wedding deal, but if I had it to do over again, I’d do something low-key like what you’re planning. Break out the iPod, get the fancy kind of paper or plastic plates, and have a great time. And definitely board Lula!

    1. I hate my tattoo. It’s just a little shamrock but it bugs me. I have already had the big full official country club wedding big band bluster and now I’m doing it my way with Frank on the IPod and yes, Lula is gonna have to go or we’ll never see her again. Sugar will just be pissed and skulk around in the basement and the garage.

  3. Jane T

    As you might imagine, I have opinions or answers to each of your questions. When you hit that moment where you need to stop sweating the details call me. The beauty of that is having me to blame in the event that blame is necessary. Tattoo? How did I miss that episode in the life of Maggie? Surely it came after the sharpie πŸ™‚

  4. I agree with Weebles. Board the kitty. You don’t want your nuptials marred with an animal incident, even if it would make a terrific blog post. Seriously, it looks to me like all of your ideas are tasteful and you’re on the right track. If a soft butch lesbian’s vote counts, I go with dress #2, too, but the real deciding factor is what looks best when you try them both on.

  5. the first dress is gorgeous and just wear the tattoo it is part of who you are after all.. or fabulous tight long sleeves to the knuckle, that would be cool too! You are going to have so much fun! celi

  6. I thought I commented on this already! I’m losing my mind. I’m gonna email you tomorrow with my responses to your many anxieties. I’ll just leave you with this – we did beer, wine, and champagne and it was perfect.
    More tomorrow… Xoxox

  7. I like the second dress, it is lovely. And I will clean your yard. And your parents didn’t leave you more money because they didn’t want to encourage frivolity. And the iPod will be fine. But beer, wine and champagne will not be enough. I would like some tea please, if its not too inconvenient, as I do not drink.

  8. omg I HATE MY PHONE. I thought I replied to this from my DUM phone two days ago. 80 days is plenty of time to do all this. Break it all down so its not one big pile of OHMYGOD. Yes on the ipod, yes on whatever dress you want, a photographer can photoshop out the tattoo…put the kitty in a cage with water and food, talk to the ex, I invited mine to my second wedding, he didn’t come but the conversation was worth it, everything else is just a checklist…and drink lots of wine. You will be ok. AND YAY YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!

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