You Won’t Find Cupid Here

I’ve been out of the blogging game for a couple of weeks so I need some easy blogs to get me back in writing shape.

We’ll start with a simple exercise called “Search Term Blogging”. Anyone can do this if they have a blog on WordPress. WordPress collects all the search terms that people used to get to your blog and you can access them from your Stats page under, well, um Search Terms.

There are 498 different search terms for my blog that have been saved by WordPress.

These are the Top 5 Search Terms used to find my blog:

  • Fat Nudes
  • Rob Kardashian Socks
  • Someone Fat Happened
  • Sally Jesse Raphael
  • Rob Kardashian Sock Line

No big surprises there except that Rob Kardashian should be advertising on my blog, his name is used 40 different ways to find my blog. I should be compensated.

Fat is used in 77 different ways to find my blog. Fat owes me. I have been carrying Fat for years. It’s time Fat went out on its own.

In other search term news:

santas porn girls– that’s great. You know what bub? this is a family show, take your santa porn girls elsewhere!

penis mr ralph – that’s right kids!

butt plug girl – I think they were looking for Speaker 7

fat maggie pesky – Nice way to talk about your hostess.

do you find this arousing cat — No, you sicko

“gearhart” “colgate” – Yes.

ecards enjoy my boner – Why thank you!

i love you more than penis – Aw, shucks!

vodka makes you not remember any of that crap — I know.

“wear my hearing” – Your hearing looks like hell on me.

fat hot fuckers — Yeahhhhh baby!!!

how do you know if you still have your ovaries — I think you would notice if you got rid of them.

сестры габор — duh.

people clothed then naked— and then?

when can a child get out of a stupid booster seat — No kidding, I swear to god it’s like authorities want kids in booster seats till they can drive. I lived through a childhood traveling in cars not strapped to anything.

“maggie” nude home alone — Why am I in quotes? Am I not real? Just because I’m nude home alone doesn’t mean I’m not a human being.

things on fence that look like wood slivers – Is it a chain link fence?

basket short boner – I, uh, um, I don’t…what?

thank you butno – You. Are. Welcome.

how to decently accept farting — I haven’t written about this butt I should.

you re still fat — Thank you, I know that!

ironing erotica– this is a thing?

youre mad at me — No. I’m not. Please let it go.

and last but not least….search words to live by:

when the children in the mother fat and he was going to out side fat xxx

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28 thoughts on “You Won’t Find Cupid Here

  1. twindaddy says:

    Makes you fear for humanity, doesn’t it?

  2. Margarita says:

    Nothing as interesting as that in my searches, Maggie. Like Avis, I’ll have to try harder! lol xoxoM

  3. laughed my fat butt off and now will have to go look at mine, but I don’t remember anything like those…

  4. prttynpnk says:

    Ironing nude is ok, starching nude is bad.

  5. Papizilla says:

    I love your search terms. The porn chicks are searching for you too huh? I feel cheated on somehow…. I enjoy cruising through my search terms. On a previous blog, they were truly scary to look at. How in the heck Google applied those terms to me and my blog at that time were a complete mystery. Let’s just say that the S & M people looking for their answers were sorely disappointed in viewing my article on the families fishbowl. Yeah.

  6. I think the best search term that has come to me is ‘woman and dog sex.’ It has happened twice actually so it’s very much a confirmed thing now. I am THE place to be if you require information about woman and dog sex. PS, I think I also love you more than penis.

  7. I really don’t have as interesting search terms! I just had to go and check mine out and while there are some vaguely funny ones most of them are just searches for my blog.

  8. a gripping life says:

    I’m slightly relieved that I don’t know where to find mine. Yours are enough to carry me through to the end of my days.

  9. a gripping life says:

    Why is my avatar a quilt square, randomly?
    Your header should be my header. I LOVE the ocean/beach. Is that your own picture or is this one of their themes that I overlooked? Darn it. I need to freshen my place up.

  10. El Guapo says:

    Mostly I wonder what posts they found through the odder seearch terms on my site…

  11. badfads says:

    I’ve had some truly terrifying search terms, as you can imagine given my content. I think the worst was a “fuking of 500 pairs collectively in japan” with that exact spelling. Then I’ve had a lot of variations on “butt in leggings” or “butt in tights” etc, which usually makes me sad for the world. My favorite is when people ask a question like, “how do I wear tights with union jack shorts?” and then they end up on my blog. Hopefully they are then ashamed of themselves.

  12. Courtney says:

    Reading my search terms is one of my favorite parts of having a blog. People are CRAZY! hahaha

  13. I was frightened that skin suit and fat girl skin suit are popular searches for mine. Creepy what people search on the internet!

  14. travellingmo says:

    Wow. Some true gems in there.

  15. Carrie Rubin says:

    It always amazes me what people search for. Given I write fiction, my browser history has some interesting finds as well, but none as bizarre as these. I love the one with your name in quotes.

    Thanks for a great laugh, and thanks for stopping by my blog. 🙂

  16. We stumbled over here different website and thought I may as well
    check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you.

    Look forward to finding out about your web page repeatedly.

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