Young Ladies, a Word of Advice Before the Weekend Begins

Please ladies, PLEASE listen to me. I know what I’m talking about and I’m trying to save you some face, prevent some pain, save you from yourselves.

When I was your age, there were no cell phones, no Facebook, no caller ID, no *69, no voicemail, no instant messaging, no Skype, no Instagram, no Twitter….just phones and cars.

If I wanted to stalk a boy, I’d have to get in my car and go find him or go walk around Hamilton, NY and find him. If I called and he answered and I didn’t know what to say, I could hang up and for all he knew it was an Amway salesman. And that was dangerous enough. There was still drunk dialing and knocking on doors at 2 a.m. or a particularly humiliating move kissing a boy under a table at 1:45 a.m. when he honestly thought he was helping me look for my earring on the sticky, nasty beer-drenched floor of Hickey’s.

Trust me when I say, I am so grateful there were limited means of communication available to me while I was in college and in my early to mid-20s.


Girls, listen to me and trust me, please do this for me. Help me Help YOU.

  • If it is his turn to text you back and he doesn’t. Don’t keep texting him. He knows you’re out there and he knows how to get a hold of you, IF he wants to.
  • If you are dating someone for a couple of weeks, don’t have the “we’re exclusive” talk. Just don’t. He will run like his hair is on fire.
  • Don’t “De-Friend” guys on Facebook to “show” them. If they notice, they will just think you are ridiculous. For that matter, don’t post photos or updates on Facebook meant to “show” any guy how hot, busy, sexy, popular you are. OK? Stop it.
  • When you are the worse for wear from wine or tequila or anything that has the word “proof” on its packaging, don’t hit Send. Just save it and review in the morning.
  • The above rule goes for responding to emails from Match, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Craigslist massage ads, any of it….Just Don’t Do It.
  • Don’t write/post any profiles to any of the above mentioned sites in that condition either.
  • If he doesn’t ask you out again, do NOT call, text, IM or any of the other aforementioned types of electronic communication to demand to know why not. Please for the love of your own self-esteem, Don’t do this!
  • One thing to remember if you take naked photos of yourself and send them to anyone: Never do that. The photos will wind up on Instagram or your Twitter feed and once that burning frying hot digital mess of sexiness hits the interwebs, there ain’t no gettin’ it back.

Ladies, even though the means of communication have changed immensely, men and women haven’t. Don’t think “oh I know him, he’ll understand that I’m cool, I’m just wondering why I haven’t heard from him in the last week.” He doesn’t think you’re cool, he wants you to leave him alone. Please sweetheart, please leave him alone.

36 thoughts on “Young Ladies, a Word of Advice Before the Weekend Begins

  1. Amen, Sister! And if he doesn’t think you’re worth it, then he’s not worth it, right? Men are simple creatures (and I don’t mean that in an insulting way) when they say “I don’t want a commitment” that’s exactly what they mean. They are no where near as complicated and multi-layered as women are. It’s the uterus that makes us that way. And the never-ending hormones imbalances.

    You should post this in a young woman’s magazine. But, young women shouldn’t be reading or looking at those either. For the love of all that is holy, why do we even have to tell people not to post naked pictures on the internet.

    Things were simpler when there was just phones and no *69. :).

    1. You are so right Brig. Women are the deeper more analytical creatures which is why I am giving them (us) the responsibility to NOT do these things! I try to talk to 20 somethings but they smile indulgently and nod and I know they are thinking I have no idea what I’m talking about. Siiiggghhhh

  2. A gripping life

    Maggie, this made me laugh! All of the little sidebars like kissing a boy under the table, etc. Hahah! I feel like you and I have a lot on common! Thank all that is holy that we were limited in our modes of communication – Amway salesman, indeed! What would we have suffered if we couldn’t quickly hang up? OMG. The poor girls of today, they have it rough. Good advice!

        1. unfetteredbs

          my girls never ever talk on the phone(neither do I) It is hard and stressful raising young women now. It is hard to monitor them and stay on top of everything. Our moms had it so much easier haa. But girls are smart(we were). Good piece Maggie. Having a soon to be 15 year old and 19 year old girls ugh is all I have to say. Keep those boys away from my gals.. evil eye comes out.( so far they are level headed…. so far fingers crossed)

  3. good advice, but what you should have included would be to have everyone send YOU their misguidings instead. that would be a fantastic collection! and then they would get it out of their systems. I’m saying “they”, as I have never had any of these urges or problems (cough))

  4. CheeseButterBeerSister

    LaLa- boys certainly do many of the same things, the difference is they don’t hold on to that shame for the remainder of their days!! HA!

  5. Jane T

    I am certain there are many boys/ men and girls/ladies that are thankful we came of age when communication was simple and limited. Wish I could remember who the lucky guy under the table was! Thanks for a great read as always!

  6. I cringed as I read it. Don’t girls have any self-esteem any more?
    IN my day the advice we were given was to hang on his words, and wear white gloves and a white collar so we looked as fresh as a daisy, which, we were told by the magazines, was what a man liked!!!!
    I believed them!!!

  7. aallegoric

    You are SO right with what you’re saying. But it is SO hard to stick to these rules šŸ˜¦ because if you stick to them, and he then doesn’t get back to you…. honesty is brutal. xx

  8. It’s funny, we act like since the modes of communication have changed that social rules and graces haven’t, but nothing’s changed except we are less personal and more jaded than before. Thanks for posting!

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