Back to My Roots

I reposted my original Weigh In Wednesday post this morning. Back in January I started my diet, knowing I needed to lose 20-30 pounds. I lost 11. I weighed myself this morning and I’ve gained back 7 so if I divide the number of pounds by the number of months dieting and factor in daily calories with burning time when will I get to Seattle?

That story problem brings me back to the diet bandwagon. I haven’t done Sparkpeople in months. It is a really good program for losing weight mainly because it has a calorie/protein/fat/carb/geiger/sugar counter and that is what seems to work for me. Not that I intend to go back on Sparkpeople but when I do it works and then I’d lose weight and you all would be jealous of me and stop reading my blog because “screw her for being all hot and thin, maybe her Sparkfriends will read her but I’m going to go eat some cheese.”

I’ll shoot for 10 lbs first and see if I can at least get that done without making everyone envious of my white hot sexiness. I justify my weight by noting that I have a large chest which I believe weighs 12 pounds so I’m not fat just bodacious.


One of the reasons Sparkpeople stopped engaging me was that I like WordPress better. I began blogging on Sparkpeople but Sparkpeople are internet people concerned with diet, health and weight loss.

WordPresspeople are internet people interested in words and writing and thinking; being hilarious and tortured; in storytelling, in food and pictures of food, traveling to get to food, putting alcohol with food, giving their children food, giving their animals food, and food.

Here on WordPress, I am part of a community. I should mention that I recently made it on to Eric’s blogroll on Clown on Fire. And he made me this badge which I need to put on my award page.

I’m learning about blogging but clearly not learning enough because I can’t for the life of me figure out why people read what they do. I posted something that I really liked yesterday but it wasn’t a hit. Then I think well maybe it’s the categories. When I limit the categories I limit the readers maybe?

Then I look at search terms people use and wind up finding my blog and those are fascinating troublesome.

Here’s the first one to come up today:

women naked together locker

That makes sense although I kind of shake my head at whoever was searching for that. I’m sure yesterday’s blog disappointed them.

The most popular search term for finding my blog: fat nudes

Other perfectly reasonable search terms:

  • lemon pushups and running
  • read or dream of fat maggie
  • Justin Bieber boners 2012
  • Does Rob Kardashian Like big boobs
  • Fat sister fart 

I think you get the idea and now understand why I am more comfortable here. WordPress is highbrow. WordPress is for writers, and for the writer who farts.

Whatever gets people here, I don’t care. All of you make me happy. I recently was notified that I have more than 200 blogger followers, 207 to be exact. I have almost 20,000 hits. I still don’t know how to put video in my blog or put links in comments and….

I still need to lose 20 lbs.

I might change the name of my blog to “Fat Sister Fart”.

36 thoughts on “Back to My Roots

  1. Le Clown

    I actually think this is a great post. It’s often surprising to see what post will be enjoyed, which one will be successful, and which one will just flop – even when we think we’ve written a small masterpiece. I will be publishing one tomorrow which I had so much fun writing, it’s not a Le Clown piece, but very “Eric” and very personal. I think one of the keys of a successful post is the universality of the themes, may they be personal or not. I think posts that are popular are posts that your readership will relate to… I’ll have to read the post you’re referring to, as of curiosity 9I’m a bit behind in my reading).
    PS: Great badge, my great blogger friend.

      1. A gripping life

        I thought yesterday’s was HILARIOUS!! I told my daughter, “Lily in Canada,” to read it because I knew she’d love it. You’re one funny lady and Republican to boot!! Yay!

          1. a gripping life

            haha! She got married in August 2011 to a Canadian! Can you believe her misfortune to fall in love with a Canadian? LOL! Anyway, so now she lives in Victoria – that’s where he’s from. That’s why I want to move to the west coast.
            “Lily in Canada” is her blog. She’s funny as anything but she’s an acquired taste. She’s very dry and can be irreverent – but I think most 25 year olds are. She basically rips on Canadians, living there as an American, she feels she has a great vantage point. haha!

  2. A gripping life

    I think if you had changed your name to “fat sister fart” I would have found you much sooner. LOL! I’m glad you cleared up what “spark people” are. I was a little scared, I’m not gonna lie. Now I’m gonna use you as my white hot inspiration for losing 20 pounds. Twelve pounds for breasts? That makes total sense.

      1. a gripping life

        I was serious. Google said my head weighs 12 pounds, too. My head and your breasts – a match set. Do you think they’ll make us pay extra for those proportions at the Jade sauna?

  3. I don’t take the terms people allegedly use to find my site that serious since my number one search term is something like “plate of spaghetti” — a topic I’ve never covered. When I Googled that term my site did not come up. That said … When I Googled “women naked together locker” your site did appear by page 3. If you simply titles a post “Naked” you’ll get higher traffic.

    If you want to add a link from YouTube to a post it’s easy. First copy the YouTube link. Go to your “Add Media” box, go into the “From URL” tab, click the button called “Audio, Video, or Other File”, past your YouTube link and presto chango, that video should appear in your post.

    I know it’s harder to lose weight in middle age, especially because one’s metabolism slows down.

    1. I have plenty of naked and nude going on here. Not me but my words are all nude all the time.
      And THANK YOU for the YouTube tip. I’m going to try it out tomorrow!
      Losing weight is harder now that I’m staring down the barrel of 50 but it might be easier if I didn’t eat so much and moved more but whatevs.

      1. Yeah, the answer is to eat less and exercise more — when you feel like doing both much less.

        If you have any difficulty uploading email me personally and I’ll help you. I urge you to do a test post that you don’t publish so you can just check if you can get it to work in preview.

        1. okay. It won’t be of me doing anything interesting so if I screw it up, people can comment and tell me I screwed it up and then I will know they are reading my blog which clearly I’m prepared to whore out for any reason.

    2. I have plenty of naked and nude going on here. Not me but my words are all nude all the time.
      And THANK YOU for the YouTube tip. I’m going to try it out tomorrow!
      Losing weight is harder now that I’m staring down the barrel of 50 but it might be easier if I didn’t eat so much and moved more but whatevs.

  4. Jane T

    See what happens if you blog about football. Seriously, you make me laugh so please never stop blogging! Fat sister Farts works for me.

  5. aallegoric

    “WordPress is high brow” 😀 That really made me laugh 😉 not sure why though- but maybe it’s connected with these reasonable search terms 😉

  6. Ew ew ew ew ew, “Justin Bieber boners 2012”?? What kind of sick freak is searching for that? In this year or any year???

    The line “I’m not fat, I’m just bodacious” should be on a t-shirt.

  7. Mrs. P

    I can’t count the amount of traffic I get from people searching ouija boards and penis pimples. Today there was a refreshing new term, “asian but plug”.
    Like you said, whatever gets them there. And I have also poured my heart into posts that went nowhere and then got immeasurable hits on posts where I just posted a stupid pinterest link.
    It’s the act of catering to the search terms that separates the writers from the attention seekers. I could write a post about how a ouija board told me to try an asian but plug, and probably get more hits than a poorly behaved orphan in a Dickens tale. Alas, I will not.

  8. This post rings true for all of us bloggers and what brings people to us. I did a post almost two years about on Pepcid Complete and why its gone from the shelves; yet every day I get dozens who come to me via that search term. Today, I see the number one search term for me is “bosquet.” Say what? Nothing can top Fat Sister Fart. It’s available as a blog title, in case someone wants to take it on!

    Major congrats on so many followers and so many hits for such a short time in the blogosphere!! I love bloggers who are real, who talk about real subject matters. Love popping in here. Really!

  9. Whatever you’re doing on your blog it’s working Maggie. 🙂 Congratulations on the blog stats. Commiserations on the diet though.

    Re food, I’m just wondering if you drink a lot of soda or juice? If you do then that could be a big part of the diet yoyo. Both soda and juice contain lots of fructose and apparently the liver can’t handle pure fructose so it goes straight into fat. I wrote this post with some really good links in it about the fructose problem :

    Maybe if you can just reduce your consumption of high fructose drinks the weight will start to drop off without too much pain. Keep us posted!

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