I am back. Not writing creatively but I am back.
As I wrote last month, my kids had a near miss in the ocean. Brigid, who is 13 and not a big talker, just went through five days of what the doctors we saw on Tuesday called post-traumatic stress. There is nothing worse than watching your child in pain and not being able to stop it. Brigid cried for days, she panicked, she wouldn’t leave the house, couldn’t be away from me, didn’t want to get out of my bed, couldn’t eat, she couldn’t read, she couldn’t make any decisions. It was so awful and heartbreaking. And then last night about 8:30, it lifted and she was back. She looked through a magazine, no upset going to sleep. I don’t know if it is really gone but she is at school today, after missing the first day of 8th grade. I haven’t heard from her or anyone at the school so fingers crossed.
I have never witnessed PTSD. My love and support goes out to any and all including all the bloggers I follow and those who I haven’t found yet who suffer from this. Brigid had one traumatic incident and it beat her up pretty bad. I cannot imagine dealing with sustained mental, physical, emotional trauma and what that does to the mind in the long run.
Tuesday, I had to give her a little hard love as my siblings and I call it. She was crying and she said, “why me?” Whooooaaaaa pardner! Nope. Why you?! Why not you? Why anyone? And here’s news, there are children suffering much worse than you are. So we will have no “why me?” Ever. Worse things, better people. I am a good mother and I know I helped her so much and she was darling and appreciative but I am a hard nose about certain things and “why me?” is one of the most useless, self-indulgent questions anyone can ask. “Why Me?” stunts progress, it allows for wallowing when strength and perseverance are needed. There will always be someone who has it worse.
Monday night, Brigid was in my bed with me and I was trying to soothe her to get some sleep and she said, “Mom, I wish you had a mom because you are so nice to me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Without question one of the best things anyone has ever said to me.