I know it seemed like I didn’t have anything to write about yesterday but I had forgotten something very important that happened over the weekend.I watched “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” for the first time.
Saturday morning my pal, Lisa, took her daughter to see the University of Washington campus while the rest of the kids slept. I decided to indulge myself and watch some TV. I propped myself up on the big king hotel bed, grabbed the remote and started surfing.
Aside: I think it’s kind of bullshit that the hotel rigged the TVs so they couldn’t go above a certain volume and it wasn’t adequate volume at all. The Fairfield Inn people should not be the boss of me and my hearing.
There was nothing on the three HBO channels. Not gonna watch news. Don’t care for any of the five ESPN channels nor do I speak Spanish for the two Spanish channels. But, but — wait ….what is on E! Entertainment Television?! Oh hoh!!! It’s the Kardashians!
I watched “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and now I know why they are so famous and all over the tabloids because the show is vapid and audiences are mesmerized by the vapidity. I was.
Offering nothing that is stimulating or challenging.
Yes! This show is Vapid! A synonym for Vapid is Insipid. Yes! This show and its cast of Kardashians is Insipid!
I watched two or three episodes in a row; mouth agape, squinting at the television while muttering to myself, “what the hell?”
Do you watch the Kardashians?
The now-deceased patriarch of the K crew is Robert Kardashian. Mr. Kardashian was one of OJ’s attorneys so you know he was a little off in the head still I can’t help but think he is spinning in his grave or urn or wherever, knowing what his ex-wife and children are up to.
Kris Jenner is the mom of this crowd of modern day Gabor sisters.
Kris, along with just about every other female on this show, wears impressively thick black false eyelashes and has the mental/emotional make up of a 13-year-old (my apologies to 13-year-olds everywhere). She whines and meddles in her adult daughters’ lives. Is it for the show? Was she always like that and the show just captures it? I don’t know.
Bruce Jenner is married to Kris. I am not even going to pile on about what Bruce has done to his face. He hasn’t hit it as hard as Kenny Rogers but it ain’t right. But! You know what? He seems like a nice, goofy dad. Sure he always looks surprised but he seems like a nice guy, can’t imagine what in the hell he is doing with this crowd but I don’t feel like researching that.
The adult daughters are as follows (in no particular Kardashian order):
Kim, Kourtney and Khloe.
Kim, we all know, is the one who divorced the basketball guy after they were married for an hour and a half. She is perhaps the most ridiculous of all the Kariculous folks on here. She is strangely, Paris-Hiltonly self-absorbed. (Another aside: Paris has been awfully quiet for awhile. Thank you Paris!) Kim, who may be a fairly cute girl, wears the crazy-ass false eyelashes, sterility-inducing tight pants and pushes her rather veiny boobs out for everyone’s viewing. Even her sister comments on how big they are, constant boobalanches are distracting. I know that much is true.
Kourtney is the pregnant one. She has a little boy and she seems to be kind of a tough customer, not just a whiny pain in the arse like Kim. Unfortunately Kourtney is boyfriend-girlfriend with Scott, the baby daddy. Scott is a LOOOOOOO ser!!!! Look at Scott’s shirt:
Scott may be devilishly handsome, although it looked like he had a kind of wacky right eye, but he is an ASShole. Kourtney pull your head out and dump this guy, you’re a Kardashian for God’s sake. From the extensive research I have done on this guy, including reading the eight sentences on his Wikipedia page, he’s just some good looking guy who is now famous for dating one and fathering two Kardashian offspring.
Khloe is the one that people think is not Robert Kardashian’s kid and I can see how there may be a question there.
You know how else you can tell there may be a different stream of DNA in Khloe? She appears to be the most mature person in the family and isn’t particularly self-indulgent. She appears (I don’t know and it is a silly tv show) but she APPEARS to love her husband (NBA player Lamar Odom) and is trying to have a successful marriage. One episode I watched had Kim and Kourtney and their eyelashes bitching that all Khloe wanted to do was take care of her husband and her house and not go to NYC with them for the opening of Loser Scott’s restaurant. Khloe is clearly screwed up when she is prioritizing her husband and marriage over the Kardashians.
There is also a brother Kardashian, Rob. I kid you not, in one of the episodes, Rob was pissy because Scott’s restaurant was opening (supposedly) and Scott was getting a business going before Rob. And…. AND… Rob has been “working really hard on his sock line.” Yep, he has been slaving over his Rob Kardashian Sock Line and out of nowhere, coming up on the rail is Loser Scott, trumping Rob and opening a restaurant before Rob’s Sock’s hit the catwalk! Rob is also annoyed at his mother for pointing out that he missed the deadline for the fall sock collection and will have to wait to premier his designs in December.
I’m not kidding. Sock Line.
Don’t get hooked on the show but do watch one or two, it is fascinating how foolish these people are. Although not as foolish as those who are keeping them on the air.
I have Kept up with the Kardashians but now they will have to go it alone.