I’m No Dina Lohan

I will probably suck as a stage mother if I get that chance.

Annie worked 12 hours yesterday and LOVED it. She texted me around 6:30 p.m. that she was “done”. Actually “Done” was all the text said. I texted back “be in front”. Meaning I will be in front of the school to pick her up. I got there and parked at the curb and she wasn’t out there. I didn’t want to sit in the car waiting. I thought about texting her that I was there but I don’t like texting. I went into the school to see what it all looked like and maybe meet some of her new Extra friends. I figured why not, they’re “Done”.

I walked into the school, as I have many times before. I was wearing a t-shirt, skirt and Merrell flip flops, please see Exhibit A.

Exhibit A.

I walked into school with Merrells flipping and flopping with each step, slap slap slap. I turned into the main hall and flip flopped along toward the people I saw hanging out in the hall and on the stairs. They were probably getting a jump on tomorrow’s work because they are “Done” for today.

As I approached I gave a little shout out, “Hey! You got any ex….” They all jumped silently at me signalling me to stop talking. Anyone who knows me and I imagine plenty of people who don’t know me but have been reading this blog, realize it’s hard for me to stop talking. So then I was whispering “oh gah, sorry.” And they keep waving and looking distressed and I finally….stopped…saying…anything.

Then I stood there frozen like in a game of Statue. Someone upstairs yelled, “we’re still rolling!” oh jeez. I’m such an idiot.

I immediately thought, “why isn’t there a red light?” I’ve seen PLENTY of TV and movies and when the cameras are rolling there is a red light on telling everyone to be quiet. There was NO RED LIGHT.


One of the very nice men then asked me what I needed. And I whispered, “my daughter’s here.” I wanted to tell him that I knew my daughter was going to kill me but I knew I wasn’t supposed to be talking. The nice man told me I could go look for her upstairs. I took off my flip flops, I didn’t need them slapping up the stairs. I tiptoed up the stairs and got almost to the top and heard, “Let’s go again!” Ack! I froze again. I could see there were kids on the landing but I couldn’t see them clearly. I didn’t want to go any further up the stairs because I was picturing my head slowly appearing in the shot as I tried to surreptitiously look for Annie and them having to yell “Cut” again and hustle me out of the building.

I was creeping over to the railingΒ  to see what I could see, when I saw Annie come out of a hallway downstairs and walk toward the front door. She spotted my shoes, stopped, and looked around to see her mother halfway up the stairs with a “I have no idea what I’m doing” look on her face. I silently ran down the stairs, picked up my shoes and followed her to the front hall.

Her big blue eyes were looking at me with that weird teenage, “why are you my mother and why are you near me in public” look. She said, “You told me you were going to be out front.”Β  Well I know I did but…. I told her what I had done and she was mortified as I knew she would be. I tried to explain to her that there was no red light that said they were filming. “Mom! We are filming in a high school!”

We got home and Annie crashed. I told Brigid what had happened and she sort of smiled and said, “Mom, you do things like that.”

There was no sign like this one.

14 replies to “I’m No Dina Lohan

  1. You’re just looking after Annie’s best interests. Who knows when you’ll have to start dodging the paparazzi?? But seriously, Mags, maybe some new shoes are in order. Those Merrells might be distracting. I’m just sayin’. πŸ˜€

  2. isn’t it our job as moms to embarrass the hell out of them? we have to get SOME enjoyment out of our day πŸ™‚

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