He’s No Victim

I’m sure I’m not the only one who is tired of reading about the abominable behavior of Jerry Sandusky and those who covered for him at Penn State. Happily the jury of his peers (no offense to the jurors) convicted him and he will most likely spend the rest of his life in jail. Too good for him but it will have to do.

I read this article yesterday about the other victim in this case: Mike McQueary. Yep, that poor Mike McQueary who saw Sandusky raping a 10-year-old child in a Penn State shower and didn’t grab the kid, knock the holy crap out of Sandusky while dialing 911. That Mike McQueary. This article discusses the fact that these days American men fall into two categories of manhood: The Lone Ranger (the superhero) and the Good Soldier (the Team Player).

According to the Jim Sollisch, the author of the Opinion piece:

Mike McQueary is the prototypical Good Soldier. He would have gladly marched off a cliff for Joe Paterno. He is the ultimate Team Player. He’s a model citizen who believes in authority.

So Mr. McQueary did what he was conditioned to do. He told the ultimate authority: JoePa. You and I might wonder why he didn’t tell the police. In his world, the police were mere mortals compared to Coach. I’m not suggesting McQueary shouldn’t have called the police. I’m just saying that when people wonder why he didn’t alert the authorities, they’re missing the point: He did.

According to Sollisch, it is easier for American boys and men to be the “Good Soldier” because “it’s the story told by every institution a boy comes in contact with.”  Boys are brought up to be men who don’t question authority, they stay true to their organizations and according to Sollisch, are unable to discern right from wrong, blind loyalty rules the day. So poor Mike McQueary was only acting as he had been conditioned to act and his conditioning didn’t include objecting to a pedophile coach raping a child. Poor Victim Mike.

I’m not a man. My father was a man and my brother is a man. I am dating a man and was married to a man. There is no way in hell that one of the above-referenced men or the many other male friends that I have would have just walked by a little boy being raped and not saved that boy. McQueary interrupted the rape? Wow, good for him, I bet that boy was so relieved that his rape was interrupted and then the young guy left him there with Sandusky. If my brother had witnessed what Mike McQueary witnessed, my father sure as hell would NEVER have said, “well son you better tell the coach.” WTF??? Knowing my dad back in the day, he would have gone looking for Sandusky.

I asked Derwood and John to read the article and comment.

Derwood: “This whole article reeks of a passive sympathizer who believes the majority of American males have been led astray by all of our institutions. ”

John:  “My big problem with this article is that is tries to superimpose the extraordinary conditions and atmosphere that existed at Penn State  with the normal culture that exists with young men being conditioned to be “team players”. PSU was uniquely fucked up…and I refuse to accept any sort of psych 101 explanation as to why anyone did what they did.”

A couple of things aggravate me to the point of sweating about this article:
  • To use the word “victim” in reference to Mike McQueary is the height of insensitivity to the boys who were raped. It’s like when the Catholic Church asked us to pray for the priests. You pray for the priests, I’m going to pray for the children whose lives were violently, silently ruined by adults they trusted.
  • Don’t give McQueary a pass by implicating American society and throwing all men under the same bus as McQueary. I’m offended for all the fine men I know.
I commented on this article on the Christian Science Monitor website and some doodah replied, “Have you ever been in that situation?  Please explain the situation you were in and what you did do. “
Oh please, don’t give me that horseshit (apologies to horses). Have I ever witnessed an adult raping a child? No. I have had to step up and do the right thing even if it scared me to do it and I did. So have lots of people. I simply don’t buy the bullshit line that “you don’t know what you would have done.” Yeah, actually yes I do know.
Gaahhraahhrrrr! This gets me crazy fired up!
What do you think???
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44 thoughts on “He’s No Victim

  1. I’ve not understood running to McQueary’s defense either. It is all messed up, the whole hierarchy thing with sports. It really does remind me of how one is raised in Catholicism to believe the priest is like God. It’s twisted. I’ve always wondered how people can know something is wrong and yet do nothing because the person committing the sin is an authority figure. I couldn’t live with myself if I saw what Mike did and let it stop at JoePa.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Having been raised Catholic and still a practicing Catholic, having been raised playing sports, have a brother who played sports coached by my dad….I still do NOT get how the author can explain away McQueary’s behavior.

  2. magicallymad says:

    I think I would have done what you would have done, but also coming from a military family (an institution) & knowing how these big athletic universities work & McQueary having been essentially raised within that institution, I can see it. I would not call him a victim, and I know it is not what most men I know would have done, but as someone with mental problems, I try to empathize. I think it’s tough to know. The guy admits he was haunted by it & by his decision. That’s enough for me, given the details of the case. JoePa & Sandusky? They can burn in hell. How McQueary handled it, as a young guy, a junior guy on that squad? I can absolutely see it. It doesn’t excuse him, but I can see it.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      My larger issue with this article is don’t lump the rest of men in with this guy. Don’t explain it away. He fucked up and he knows he did, to his credit I suppose. But don’t lump Mike and his Dad in with the rest of the male population. That’s my problem with this article is blaming his failure on “institutions” and not a skewed moral compass.

      I agree, I can see what he did and why. I don’t know why his father didn’t say he needed to do more.

      • magicallymad says:

        His dad was probably also enamored with the legendary Penn. But you’re right, I don’t think that would be the response of the average guy, although there was that one soldier at My Lei who spoke out – only 1. So for most “institutionalized” (& not in the prison or mental sense) men, I can just see why it happens. My dad? No f’n way!!!!

        • Maggie O'C says:

          I see your point but I am going to note the distinction between a rape at Penn State and the My Lei massacre during the Vietnam War. Both reprehensible but one in College Station PA and one in the nightmare of the Vietnam War.

          Go our Dads!

          • magicallymad says:

            Gotcha! I was just stating the mentality….thanks for raising an issue that is largely absent in our circles – current events, of whatever nature, don’t come up much! XOXO

  3. Margarita says:

    I agree with you. There is no excuse for walking away from a child who needs protection. Jerry’s gonads would’ve gone missing that day!

  4. La La says:

    I absolutely agree, that’s ridiculous.

  5. Margaret says:

    We know DAMN WELL that our men have been emasculated and feminized, and we know that they HAVE BEEN trained to submit to authority. Just like the Nazis, they just ‘follow orders’ and they are still doing it. They submit to authority blindly but get their rocks off with brutality and perversions of all kinds. But we don’t get to proclaim or even discuss what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ anymore without being tarred and feathered with ‘fundamentalists’ and ‘oppressors’, but just like with abortion it is ALWAYS the innocent, the weak, the children who pay the greatest price for our refusal to THINK and ACT when necessary and when it will protect and defend. Yes there are excuses and they are ALL BAD. Darwinism itself promotes ‘survival of the fittest’ meaning that the weaker are always victimized in ways that even our ‘animal ancestors’ never did. Whether those who molest children are teachers, priests, family members, neighbors, doctors, pastors or parents, it is an unmitigated evil and more than that, it is a sickness that has pervaded our entire country and every institution and relationship in it.

  6. Oh boy. Every morning when I get up this seems the first thing I hear about. Maybe it’s because it’s morning, but nothing gets me more worked up than this story. Especially when I heard that they were going to try to pin it under some ridiculous personality disorder. To me, rape and molestation is worse than murder. This sentence is too good for him. My band director got arrested for molesting some of his students. It had been going on for years, a student told on him and the student got in trouble, they said he shouldn’t be spreading rumors. The stupidest part is that he left or got fired from his last job because of this. I’m tired of everyone getting a free ride because of some disorder or society or whatever excuse they’ll come up with next. People should start holding themselves and others accountable. This bs is what happens when we don’t..

  7. Brigitte says:

    This burns my a*s! There is NO excuse for him not reporting this to authorities and furthermore for those “in charge” for doing the same. These good ole boys clubs, I thought, were a dying breed. This is a blight on Penn State and I don’t know how long (if ever) it will take for them to overcome this and not be known for what happened. I think it has to do with power and money — they didn’t want their athletic team to be sullied with such a story and thought that it could be kept quiet. But the truth always comes out and I agree with you on every point. I know what I would have done and I know what my husband would have done. I don’t know how they slept at night. No excuse when it comes to abusing children. The repercussions of this will go on forever as I’m sure many lives and families have been nearly ruined. Thank God it came out and maybe these boys and their families can get the help and the healing they need.

    Great post, Maggie.

  8. Cheryl Hansen says:

    As a woman, who obviously has not been conditioned by our institutions to be a team player, I would have grabbed the kid, done my best to kick the living shit out of Sandusky and called the police before the bastard could get up off the shower floor.
    But then again, I am a woman, I’m kind of an independent thinker and have always felt that protecting children is everyone’s duty. The only victims in all of this are the boys who were subjected to Sandusky’s vile acts and the reprehensible behavior of the good ol’ boys.

  9. cheese&buttersister says:

    It’s not that he didn’t call the police, he didn’t STOP it from happening and then decided the best idea would be to call his daddy and see what he was supposed to do next “hey, son, it’s just a little rape, you should definitely talk to the coach about it”….McQueary is no victim, some might call him an accessory.

  10. jules1707 says:

    I agree with every. single. word that you have written here Maggie. I am a woman…and I would have taken that little boy and protected him to the best of my ability, beaten 7 colours of crap out of Sandusky and called the police. Every decent man I know, including my husband, father and 2 brothers would have done exactly the same. Unfortunately, these ‘old boys clubs’ still exsist, in the UK too. It makes me sick! I hope that everyone involved in the Sandusky case and did nothing to help these children, rot in hell.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Thanks Jules! I read today that there may be charges brought against those that protected him and I hope they go to jail before they hit hell.

      “7 colours of crap” ….outstanding!

  11. cheese&buttersister says:

    Another thing that is driving me crazy is the old boys club refrences…i can think of plenty of men who might try to forget they saw their business partner play grab ass with the secretary, but I can’t imagine those same men turning a blind eye to the rape of a little boy by a co-worker. This isn’t about men or institutions, it’s about character flaws.

  12. This is right up there with “I was just following ze orders” as the worst possible justificaion for not doing the right thing. Anyone who was aware of Sandusky’s crimes and didn’t immediately speak up should rot in jail along with him.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Right?!
      This writer’s take on it baffles me and really pisses me off!!! What McQueary did and didn’t do are not what decent good men do and grouping them together infuriates me!

      sheesh.

  13. Addie says:

    Such a well written piece. Each male (note I didn’t use the word ‘man’) who knew and did nothing should be charged as an accessory to the crimes committed. It’s not just males, but, females, too, who far too often turn their heads and walk away. I’ve yet to understand the outcry against the mistreatment of animals (don’t get me wrong, I’m a big supporter of heavier penalties for those crimes) but seem to think crimes against children are to be semi ignored. If we do not protect our young, what are we becoming as a species??

  14. Mrs. P says:

    The only way I could see him as a victim is if I look at it as he was the victim of a bad decision that will now haunt him the rest of his life. I have a daughter that was once shown something she should have never seen and I not only reported it to the school…I also reported it to the police. Immediately.
    If he didn’t have the guts to tackle the man right then and there, he should have taken it to the authorities and not waited for it to come out before speaking about what he saw.

  15. Anonymous says:

    Wonderful blog, Maggie. I’m surprised that there are only comments from women standing up for the men in their lives and no men standing up. Huh?

  16. acflory says:

    -expletives deleted- I started reading this post not knowing anything about any of the people but by the end of it I think I was almost as mad at that -more expletives- as at the rapist himself.

    The psycho babble is bullshit. I defy any woman to see something like that and not scream the house down… and eff the sporting authorities and all the cover up crap! Anyone who covers up the rape of a child is just as guilty as the perpetrator and there are no extenuating circumstance. NONE!

  17. natasiarose says:

    I think Ol’ Mike should be tried as well. Seeing someone rape anyone and not reporting it to the police should be a crime. I love how this guy can get away with thinking that the reputation of a football team is more important then stopping child molestation.

  18. […] Major Awards « He’s No Victim […]

  19. travellingmo says:

    I think Derwood put it best. You’ve a good man there!

  20. Hellosailor says:

    This story hasn’t reached the UK yet, but I just read your post and wikipedia to get a rough idea of what it’s all about.
    How can he be called a victim compared to the children? What the hell is wrong with the world :/ ????

  21. Simon says:

    Such bullshit and just another example of the pussification of this generation. The balls on this writer to want to pat this kid on the back, tell him it’s ok that his actions were just a condition of his social norm, and give him a juice box. You know who isn’t ok? The real victim that you could have saved. If McQueary ever sleeps through the night again it is just proof that his moral compass is flawed to the core.

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