Fluffed and Folded

You know what’s coming, don’t you bloggers?

Yep, it’s a post on Freshly Pressed. And I’m going to attempt to be as delicate as possible but I’m sure I will offend but it’s my blog and I’ll offend if I want to.

Recently, could have been last week, could have been last month…I read all 19 Freshly Pressed blog posts. For the non-bloggers, Freshly Pressed is the homepage of WordPress and features and I quote:

The best of 401,487 bloggers, 920,739 new posts, 1,617,669 comments, & 204,434,360 words posted today on WordPress.com.

I read the 19 Freshly Pressed Blog Posts for that day or week or however often they do it.  I read these “BEST” posts not with a bitter “I’ve never been FP’d attitude” but with an open mind. I wanted to see what constitutes the best. I read for content and style, even if I am not interested in climbing K2 or eating curry or raising snakes or homeschooling. I read as a reader. If a writer is good, it doesn’t matter if the topic is one in which I’m interested or not. I had a subscription to Sports Illustrated for a year simply because I enjoyed the writing. I don’t know jack about college basketball or swimming or the NHL but SI has great writers.

I began my FP reading as an open minded reader and fellow blogger — perhaps I will learn something, laugh or cry…. I  finished the 19 posts as a puzzled and annoyed reader, blogger and human.

Here are the 19 Freshly Pressed Blog Posts I read. I’m going to be vague unless I really loved it because I don’t want to be lynched by a blog posse.

1. The first post was a brief post that discussed a cat’s attitude or behavior in a humorous way but not that humorous. Really trying too hard by half to be funny and clever. I got the play on words. Not that good.

2. Reflections on this particular blogger’s one year anniversary blogging. Wow, what a journey. Meh.

3. Climbing in Yosemite. I’m not going to do it but the photos were beautiful and made my hands sweat.

4. Some sort of leadership guru guy, it appeared that he was marketing his services and I think that is bullshit. Why recognize an infomercial as the best of what WordPress has to offer?

5. Photos of one of the runners in England with the Olympic torch. This was a fun one. I still have photos of the Olympic torch runner going through Portland in 1984 for the Los Angeles Olympics.

6. An interview with a writer I have never heard of and it was BOH RING. And the writer took herself very seriously…really you’re not Harper Lee so get over yourself.

7. Photos of Tokyo. Shouldn’t these be on PhotoPress?

8. Top 10 movie list, time travel movies maybe? It was fine.

9. Clicked on this post and came up with “untrusted connection” warning so I didn’t read this one. Perhaps this was the ONE, the Freshly Pressed post that I have been waiting to read but it came with a virus warning so I didn’t read it. Ahh cruel fate!

10. This one was a paragraph and a photo about public transportation. Um, okay. I’m sure because the photo was black and white that the post was a very meaningful and deep look at riding the bus. A whole blog on how meaningful public transportation is? really?

11. Paleo Diet. This was interesting. I can’t figure out what the Paleo Diet is but I think it involves Brontosaurus Burgers.

12. Camping food. If I could eat like this, there’s a chance I’d go camping. This was good one.

13. I’m as shocked with what I am about to write as anyone who is about to read it. I think this was a really good blog post, it’s not fine literature but good writing and photos and informative on a medicine ball work out. I really really liked it! Me?! Sheesh.

14. Tour of Channel Islands park. Pretty pictures but it was so VERY long, I couldn’t read it all.

15. Something about being too distracted by all the electronics in our lives, I forget exactly I was watching TV and playing spider solitaire and blogging and reading but it said something about us having no attention spans any ….no, what was it?

16. Sunsets. Pretty Pictures.

17. Sidewalk chalk art. Great, cool photos. I have an issue when a blog’s tagline includes the sentence “Where I am AT?” What in the actual fuck? Is WordPress not about words? and writing? Ending a sentence with the word AT really pisses me off.

18. Chinese Garden photos. Black and white so artistic and meaningful.

19. 3 Cheese Grilled Pizza – good recipe, pretty cooking blog site.

I suppose I didn’t learn much from this. I learned I use images from Google and don’t credit them so I suppose I should do that. I need to take more meaningful black and white photos. I need to to go overseas and take black and white photos. I need to order food overseas and take black and white photos of it.

There are so many brilliant writers on here and you know who I think you are. And for my non-blogging readers, please click on my blogroll there’s some good stuff there. Freshly Pressed or not.

Here is a black and white photo of a grave marker with my name on it. I took this photo. This Margaret O’Connor died in 1926 and I was born on the 26th.  Artistic and Meaningful.

WordPress probably doesn’t Freshly Press smart asses.

60 replies to “Fluffed and Folded

  1. Maggie,
    On the money! I used to make jokes about being Freshly Pressed. It was an obsession for awhile. Until I realized I rarely enjoy Fp’s bloggers (with the rare exception of a few, Gemini Girl and Sweet Mother for example). But in general, it seems like it’s the Gap Khakis of the blogosphere, the “beigest” writers out there… And my apologies to the great ones I’ve missed.
    Le Clown

  2. Your descriptions of the posts are funnier and more engaging than anything else I’ve read today!
    I’ve never been freshly pressed so I’m pondering suicide but all my suicide notes end up rhyming so I just call myself a Country Music Writer instead.

  3. I was sitting her snickering because I have stared at that “fresh pressed” page for days wondering what the heck that was supposed to mean. I looked at a couple of them but couldn’t understand what “fresh pressed” meant or what that had to do with them or why they were singled out. I recognized many of the ones you mentioned. Don’t worry about offending people! Hey, it’s your blog, you get to say what you want.

    1. It takes a while to figure out because you look at it and think, well this can’t mean it’s the BEST so what can this be?


      and Welcome! Just hang with the cool kids!

  4. Maybe it’s just the luck of the draw or they just spin a big blogging wheel (maybe one of the WP Happiness Engineers, pushes a blogger button and whoosh!) and it lands on what it lands on. Hopefully, yours will be next, Mags. You deserve a FP. :).

      1. You and Simon both are great writers and so is Sweet Mother and other bloggers I know who have been FPd.

        I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but I don’t see how at least 75% or more of the FP blogs represent the best in writing which is what blogging is on WORDPress.


        1. I agree, and you’re a great writer too. If they went by great, funny writers, then a whole bunch of people–you, me, Simon, and a bunch of other groovy folk–would have been FP’d numerous times already.

          I think the WP mandate is something like, “Hey, why don’t you trawl the blogs and see what sort of bland but pretty pages you can find?”

          Meh, I say.

          1. I am not at liberty to speak of my dealings with WP but I will say that “happiness engineer” can mean whatever you want it to for a price.

  5. I’m glad it’s not just me. I haven’t been on WP very long but so far, with the exception of the people I already followed who were Freshly Pressed, they’re dull as dishwater. Innocuous and inoffensive. I don’t even care anymore about ever being Freshly Pressed if this is what they look for.

    I also notice a trend towards a lot of recipes and foodie photos, lots of exotic travel photographs, a lot of faux enlightening bullshit, and occasional only-vaguely-amusing essays. I find them mostly to be a big snorefest.

    At first I thought I was just being petty, but then I realized, it’s not me, it’s them. I just don’t care. I’d rather slum it with my non-pressed homeys.

    1. Word! Get it??? Word like Word to your mother but it’s on WordPress and I’m agreeing with you so it’s like clever?? Get it? You get it right?!


      Don’t forget photos should be in black and white, it’s more artistic and meaningful.


    1. Chris,
      You are one of the bloggers that I’m offended for. You have written some really brilliant creative stuff and nothing. Your post that is describing a post is genius!

  6. I agree with you! Freshly pressed is where I find new bloggers to follow and etc, but the last time I looked, all the blog was was a photo of Ned Flanders and another bloke with a mustache.
    I got really down hearted because I know so many bloggers who really TRY to appeal to everyone, but a blog with no words and one picture was FP’d? It didn’t seem right.
    Like most WP bloggers, I do hope to be FP one day – but I want my piece to be worth FPing!

    Great post!!!

  7. You are not going to believe this. I read that ENTIRE Paleo Diet Dr. blog, and like 2 Paleo Diet blogs that he linked to.

    I think I am going to try the Paleo Diet.

    I am serious.

    And look who’s talking about long posts, homeslice.

      1. You only eat what you can hunt or gather, so if you can knock off a brontosaurus, he’s yours to eat. You can eat meat, fish, shellfish, nuts, fruits and veggies. Nothing processed, so no grains because we didnt start getting grains by the ton until the agricultural revolution. (I sided with the corn-coats in that one.) And its all those carbs that are making us fat, because our bodies are still genetically designed to eat like a caveman. Also no dairy. No vegetable oil, but you can have other oil like coconut oil.

        1. Maggie, I have been meaning to tell you that I am coming to live with you.

          Me and the dogs.

          Two dogs, big ones.

          I figure now is as good a time as any. 🙂

  8. Ungh… I should be in bed but… you are so right Maggie. I’ve never done the full 19 at one go but I do check out the ones that look vaguely interesting and most of the time they’re not. The only exception was SM’s FP which has had me hooked every since.

    I think wordpress must either choose them at random or based on total followers or something. But we know we’re awesome…right?

    1. Yes. Yes I am. I am a saint. I am Moses leading my people out of Freshly Oppressed Land. I am Saint Maggie Moses.


      Yesterday Simon and I were talking about how funny you are.

  9. I totally agree with you! I have found some gems on there, that’s how I stumbled across Sweet Mother and Girl Meets Bulgaria, but mostly I read about 1/4 of a post and totally loose interest. I do the same with book jackets. I thought I was just picky about my reading but it’s good to have standards! I’m not sure that FP really represents the “best”, maybe they are just trying to have a good selection in order to grab a wider audience? I have grandiose dreams of being Freshly Pressed one day, but now I’m having second thoughts. . .

  10. Okay I’ve always wondered what it took to be freshly pressed and I definitely never thought I qualified because I’m not artsy, quirky, vintage-y, or worldly enough. If our blog sites aren’t freshly pressed by the end of 2012 then what is there to live for??
    yeaaah, I don’t care anymore. i 100% agree with this

  11. Love this – if I were the powers that be–I would FP this. I think we should have a blog panel and choose who should be FP – but until then I guess we will show our support by liking and commenting. I do not just like this post–I love it–and it has almost cured me from wanting to be FPed.

    1. Thank you and welcome to the cool kids who aren’t FPd. Well there are some exceptions (Simon and Brigitte) but other than that, just a bunch of good non-FPd cool dudes!

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