I Got Me a Truck

I got me a truck.

I got me a truck and that has eclipsed everything else that has happened to me in the past 72 hours.

This is me and ma truck. I got me a chaw of tabacky too.

I only have my truck for a day because my Volvo station wagon is in the shop and Enterprise only had a Chevy Silverado. Anyone who knows me, knows that me driving a pick up is hilarious. Not as hilarious as me driving a purple Trans Am but still awfully damn funny.

I began discussing driving a purple Trans Am in college. Or was it being killed by a purple Trans Am?

If I had more time with my truck, I would get me a Calvin “Piss on Ford” decal but alas I only have it till this afternoon. I don’t think I’ve ever driven a truck before but already I can see the merits to it. I could load a ton of stuff in the back of this thing. I’m up high so I can see everyone.

You know what a big white Chevy Silverado truck with a mom driving it talking in a fake redneck accent does best? The best thing it does is embarrass teenage girls. It makes teenage girls slump down in their seats and hiss, “mom, seriously, DON’T!” Hahahahaha. Brigid has a school camping trip tonight so she put all her overnight stuff in the bed of the truck. I pulled up at the front door of school where kids were gathering, jumped out of the cab and strolled around the truck to grab her gear and shouted, “Heay! Bridge! You wahnt yer bed roll here? C’mon overrrr and git yer stuff!” “mom, people can hear you.” AH HAH, you bet they can! I just kept telling them it would be a good story one day.

Getting in my truck reminds me of my senior year at Colgate when Lucy brought her ‘ 79 Chevy Blazer to school.

I believe it looked like this? But parked behind an old brick tenement in Hamilton, NY.

It was massive. For me to climb up in the Blazer I had to grab the steering wheel or another person, who was already in the car, to haul my ass in to the front seat. We drove in the Blazer to the Cape for senior week and a tire blew while we were flying down, what is it? I95? And one of the girls in the Blazer kept yelling “Ride ‘er out Lu! ride ‘er out!” Oh my gawd, I’m laughing so hard just thinking of that.

I got back from Sunriver Monday night and leave tomorrow morning for Reunion.

Memorial Day weekend was abfab. I think our little rental house was the best equipped rental I have ever stayed in.When we arrived there was a letter from Baily the Sunriver dog and a cute cellophane doggie bag with treats, a tennis ball, a water bowl and a Sunriver dog tag for Mudd! Darling! The kitchen was really well stocked with dishes, WINE glasses, cooking stuff, a new grill. Really great house.

Please note stainless utensils on the left corner of the island.

Mudd had a very good time. He saw his first deer which cracked me up. Sunriver is a resort of homes and condos; there really is no landscaping, fences are not allowed so wildlife wanders freely. Saturday evening there were three deer in the vicinity of our patio and Mudd saw them and took off after them! Charles Manson himself could show up at my front door and Mudd would dance around him like Charlie was his long lost master finally home from life in prison and hopefully bearing a Kong. But three deer daintily feeding off scrub brush? Mudd is after them! “I don’t know what the hell kind of cats those are but I’ll get ’em!”

Mudd on the watch for deer or squirrels. Sunriver squirrels are the size of cats.

He is D. U. M. I might let him riiiide in ma truck.

And I suppose you saw my post about the book I bought for $9. I have emailed with an appraiser who I will meet with next week about selling it. Which reminds me that on the way to Sunriver, Derwood said he thinks I am an intellectual, which of course, I’m not. Derwood said he thought I must have a high IQ and I told him that I don’t. My IQ is average. He corrected himself and said, “You probably don’t have a high IQ. You have no reasoning skills.”

I looked at him without saying anything and he decided to stop talking. He really says these things….out loud. I’m shaking my head.

I got a pedicure yesterday. I upgraded to first class for $200. I’m on way to Colgate and some interesting stories for you when I return!

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36 thoughts on “I Got Me a Truck

  1. Simon says:

    Please let your friend from the glorious south point you in the direction of a truck accessory that will make that Calvin sticker look like an Apple decal: http://www.bumpernuts.com/

  2. La La says:

    Aw Mudd and Porter could be pals! I too have traveled 95 on the way to senior week. Weird. Anyway, have fun!!!

  3. Cheryl Hansen says:

    I got me a 1981 Ford F150, farm truck. Even got them special farm license plates. It’s covered in green mossy algae stuff and the mirrors are held in place with duct tape, back gate held up with bungee cords. You can use it anytime you want to haul shit or embarrass your girls…or if you just want to feel a little bit country, little bit rock n’ roll. Providing it starts, which is always a crap shoot……

    • Maggie O'C says:

      And don’t think I won’t take you up on it. Perhaps just leave it in my driveway for a day? Just to see them cry and I’ll get a lasso and rope Mudd!

  4. Andrew says:

    Man you’re going to get so many chicks now!

  5. chrisdevoss says:

    I want a truck, but I’m stuck with my dad van for awhile…

  6. Brigitte says:

    You’re missing your cap and a gunrack. Stop by my blog and see if you recognize anything there if you have a momento. Have fun on the trip, Mags.

  7. Margarita says:

    Wiping the tears from my eyes…thanks for the belly laughs!

  8. clownonfire says:

    I’m still laughing will I’m typing this, and my kids are looking at me funny. I know nothing about cars and trucks, unless it’s a clown car, but it’s a nice white! Shiny white. And it has wheels! Good for you!
    Le Clown

    • Maggie O'C says:

      I forgot to mention that the reason my volvo is in the shop is b/c the gages didn’t work and I got tired of driving around not knowing how fast I was going or how much gas was in the car. Clearly I’m not real big on cars either.

      It makes me happy to make M. Le Clown rie!

  9. unfetteredbs says:

    that’s one BIG ASS truck 🙂

  10. Kathleen says:

    The CORRECT pronunciation is I GOTS me a truck.

  11. badfads says:

    My brother’s got a ’91 Dodge (pronounced DAAADGE) with bumper stickers that say things like “Dodge the father, Ram the daughter” and “I Don’t Call 9-11” with a picture of an AK-47.

    He’s actually a very functional person otherwise, but he loves him his truck.

  12. acflory says:

    Good grief that thing is HUGE! Do you need a ladder to climb in? Honestly I thought it was a photoshopped shot at first 😉 Lil Lady that there’s some wheels :p [sorry just couldn’t resist John Wayne meets… teenager?]

  13. WHOA! What a truck! 😀

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