What My Facebook Page Says to Me

I’m not a great Facebooker. I have an alias because there are people I’m not friends with but who are friends with my friends and I don’t want them to see my name and think that we should be all Facebookey Friends and shit. You know what I mean? I don’t need classmates from high school friending me and then commenting on my stuff instantaneously which happens to my brother from a girl in my class. And he can’t unfriend her because he has tried that with other people and they emailed him and asked to know why he would do that. Haha! Teach him to make fun of my pseudonym!

I don’t get the Timeline thing. I know that I don’t really like it but it doesn’t upset me. I have a pretty picture of my favorite beach on the banner so I like that. I know many people are REALLY upset about it. I don’t think it is an improvement but it’s fine. I searched Google images for something funny about hating Facebook timeline and got the photo shown below. It was the 20th image shown. I didn’t scroll to the 20th page of results. I didn’t scroll at all because that photo is on the first page of Google Image results for “I hate facebook timeline”. I don’t know, I don’t understand it either.

This morning I received an email from my sister Katie, which read, “Today on Facebook, my ads are for “cougar” t-shirts, wrinkle cream and cellulite treatment.   Fuck you, facebook.”

hahahaha

At some point since the making of that movie Social Media, Social something, The Social Network which was a very good movie. Anyway, at some point since the making of that movie or the creation of Facebook something happened and ads started showing up on Facebook.

After I read Katie’s email, I went to see what ads were on my page and they were: Coppertone, Don Draper Tshirts, gout study and a balanced budget.

I don’t know why Coppertone but it’s a good product. I watch Mad Men. Gout…I don’t have gout. My dentist does and my mother-in-law does but I don’t. I haven’t given a balanced budget amendment a lot of thought but it could be a good idea.

So  I closed Facebook and now I’m going to open it again and see what I get, isn’t this so exciting!?

There are new ads up! They cover the U.N., woodworking, hemp fuels, the Oregon Coast, how to avoid foreclosure (rather foreboding) and of course, Coppertone.

Did you know Jodie Foster was the Coppertone baby?

What does it all mean? No idea.

In other news….

Derwood and I are going to Sunriver for Memorial Day weekend. Sunriver is a resort in Central Oregon. It is the high desert and should be warm and sunny by now. Derwood was there last week for work and got very tan. It may snow there tomorrow so I will not be getting tan. We are also supposed to go fishing which is definitely worth a blog. I don’t want my first fishing experience in 30 years to be marred by discomfort from being cold. You know who really doesn’t want? Yep, you’re right. Derwood really doesn’t want that.

I will be in a tent with beer and my dancing shoes.

Weekend after Memorial Day I am venturing to the East Coast for my 25th Colgate Reunion! yay! I loved Colgate! I love seeing all my old pals from back in the day. I have been corresponding with a friend of mine who I really only see every five years now and we have been talking about how wonderful our connection with our Colgate friends is. There were fewer than 700 kids in our graduating class so Colgate is more like a big high school with beer. But we know a time and part of these people that not everyone knows so we have a real connection even without seeing each other for years. Anyway….I will have plenty to blog about after that!

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

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25 thoughts on “What My Facebook Page Says to Me

  1. Cheryl Hansen says:

    Facebook. Blick. Tell your brother to simply “unsubscribe” to people he doesn’t want to hear from or see on his FB page. Avoids the potential backlash of unfriending while silencing the stalkers.

  2. I’m not a huge fan of Facebook either. I’m on it, but it feels very perfunctory to me. I’m not one of those people who has to post about every single thing they’ve ever seen, done, or eaten in the course of a day. Nor do I care to read about them.

    But it’s still fun to stalk people there.

  3. Addie says:

    I canceled my real FB and my pretend one. I’m too boring to discuss. ANd, yes, I knew about Jodie Foster.

  4. chrisdevoss says:

    If you want a really great example of timeline in action, go to Saturday Night Live’s page and start scrolling through the years. It’s amazing, especially if you’re a fan of the show.

  5. Brigitte says:

    Don’t Facebook or Tweet, twat or twot. Don’t get it and blogging is more than enough for me. I do like funny dog videos, but most videos I don’t have the patience to watch all the way to the end. The chick in the bikini isn’t even shocking anymore…with realty TV which I don’t watch, nothing’s much shocking anymore, but there’s plenty of Ewwww factor to go ’round. Have a groovy weekend, Mags.

  6. Simon says:

    I mostly just take pictures of my lunch and the temperature reading in my car, sometimes I mix in a few cryptic “I just don’t understand” or “guess why I am so happy and obviously better than you”. It is also cool to write letters to days of the week “dear Monday…….”. I think if I stick with those things I will win Facebook. It is a competition right?

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Well if we were friends on Facebook those “I just don’t understand” comments would get you a Vaguebook violation which could cost you 15 yards. And yes, it’s a competition and YOU are winning!!! You didn’t buy stock did you? There’s a fail.

      • Simon says:

        Not a chance, I have noticed my use of it start to dwindle and realized how much time I was wasting reading the mind numbing shiz that I listed above. Seeing as how I am an excellent judge of what is cool, I decided to pass on the IPO.

  7. badfads says:

    I mostly post silly pictures, document my adventures in bread baking, and judge people who post constantly. I think my least favorite is the people who post things like, “SO DEPRESSED” or “I HATE DRAMA” in an obvious cry for attention.

    • Maggie O'C says:

      Those are Vaguebook violations…. I am driven mad by “Do Over” or “Things change” or “Love…sigh”

      Shut up, you will not make yourself intriguing by doing this!!

      I would Like pictures of your freshly baked bread for you.

  8. acflory says:

    I’m starting to think that FB is for people who don’t blog. Or maybe they’re just more sociable than me.

  9. Kathleen says:

    I basically don’t facebook, and btw, facebook misses me and emails me often to tell me. . . . .but now that I think about it. Facebook is the only entity that emails me to tell me they miss me. . . now I am SO DEPRESSED.

    In response to Simon. I have (once) posted “the answer is: [and I forgot what I wrote]” but only one friend even asked what the question was.

    I only went on facebook when invited by a high school group equal to your “we know a time and part of these people that not everyone knows so we have a real connection even without seeing each other for years.” Because of that, my facebook name is real. my blog name is fake.

  10. Kathleen says:

    PS: I WENT to a big high school with beer. Where were you?

  11. I am a bad facebooker, too. I don’t update my status often, but I do throw a picture or two of my boys on it once in a while for the relatives. Facebook can be a real time drain!

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