And Now, the List You Have All Been Waiting For!

Here it is, the list of all the things I HAVE done. I have done half of the things from the original list. My life isn’t that exciting and I’m not particularly brave as you know from the Wouldn’t Be Prudent List. My point being… whoever wrote this list really should aim higher.

100 Things To Do That Make Life Exciting, Fulfilling or Better Than the Lives of People Who Haven’t Done These Things.

The “Been There Done That” Edition.

  1. Sleep under the stars – Back in the old days before my family had central air conditioning, we would sleep on the patio furniture out on the deck when it was really hot.
  2. Visit Hawaii — check (and for the record, my visits to Hawaii have been in person).
  3. Watch a meteor shower – I did this the last time I went camping.  In 1977, I went camping on Mt. Washington. I returned home to the news that Elvis had died. I haven’t gone camping since then due to my concern for the well-being of cultural icons.
  4. Give more than you can afford to a charity – My ex-husband was no stranger to bidding against himself at school auctions or buying things by accident when he thought he was just “bidding them up”. Once he spent $900 on a wine collection. I don’t need no freakin’ wine collection, I’ll drink vinegar and I wanted the mosaic garden pillars!
  5. Go to Disneyland/DisneyworldPictures from Disneyland contributed to the creation of this blog.
  6. Climb a mountain – I don’t think I climbed all the way to the top of Mt. Washington but some of it, I had to see the meteor shower.
  7. Sing a solo—it doesn’t say “sing a solo in front of a paying audience” so I have definitely done this.
  8. Visit Paris – I have been to Paris a few times all while I was going to school in Dijon (and yes I do have a mustard story). If you are going to Paris, stay at the Hotel du Comfort in the 6th arrondissement (it has the delightful aroma of overcooked cabbage with just a hint of old litterbox. They may have a room named for me and my roommate — who they described as “affreuse” which means “hideous” in French.) Drink at the Pub St. Germaine. And perhaps repair to Pussy Bar for an after dinner cognac. Or stay the hell away from any of those places and most others that I frequented during my 1986 European tour.
  9. Teach yourself an art from scratch—I don’t really know what this means. I took up needlepoint before I had my first child because I thought it seemed like a maternal activity. I also vowed to start drinking hard liquor once I had kids because that also seemed more maternal. My mother knitted and drank Black Velvet, perhaps at the same time, I don’t remember.
  10. Have food poisoning – Not sure why this is on the list but I have….thanks to a chicken panini. And if you haven’t done this, don’t go out of your way to try it.
  11. Walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty – I have been to the Statue of Liberty but it was not open for climbing to the top. I give myself a half point for this.
  12. Grow your own vegetables – Yes I have. There is a garden tomato story involving Brigid when she was 4.  I may write it up in the future to prove what a good (read: horrible, negligent) mother I am.
  13. See the Mona Lisa in France – I don’t know where else you would see Mona unless they move the Louvre out of France. I have seen the Mona Lisa. It is much smaller than I expected and I had to fight through throngs of photo-snapping Japanese tourists to see her. I didn’t have all day, we did the Louvre in about an hour because we were late for the Pub St. Germain.
  14. Sleep on an overnight train – I slept in a couchette from Paris to the south of France and it was one of my best night’s sleep EVER.
  15. Have a pillow fight – check.
  16. Take a sick day when you’re not ill – Duh.
  17. Go skinny dipping — Done. Unless you are my children reading this then NO I would never do that! Girls! Go do your homework!
  18. See a total eclipse – I don’t know if this is referring to a lunar eclipse, a solar eclipse, or a total eclipse of the heart; but I have seen all of those things.
  19. Watch a sunrise or sunset – Check. Who hasn’t? Blind people haven’t, Maggie you insensitive cow.
  20. Visit the birthplace of your ancestors, as well as their burial places – How far back do you go for someone to be an “ancestor”? Do my parents count? If so, yes I have done this.
  21. Teach yourself a new language – a new made up language or a language already in use?
  22. Had enough money to be truly satisfied – Probably once for like an hour.
  23. Walk on a beach by moonlight — Check
  24. Go by ambulance – Yep. Did the ambulance ride after the elective surgery adventure.
  25. Have your portrait painted — I had my portrait pastelled during same trip to Vancouver BC when the Emu tried to capture my sister Molly.
  26. Kiss in the rain — Check
  27. Play in the mud – I’m guessing I have. Does gardening count?
  28. Go to a drive in theater – I first saw “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang” at a drive-in.
  29. Start a business – I once had cards and letterhead printed for my business. I didn’t actual do or run a business but I did start it.
  30. Sell Girl Scout Cookies – I was a Bluebird/Campfire Girl, even then I knew my limitations as a salesman. My mother had to buy my allotment of Campfire candy because I absolutely refused to sell candy door-to-door.  I have stood outside Zupan’s with my children who were selling Girl Scout cookies.
  31. Get flowers for no reason – I don’t know if this refers to giving OR receiving flowers for no reason; I definitely buy me flowers for no reason.
  32. Donate blood, platelets or plasma – I have done this but  not an activity I excel at.
  33. Bounce a check – Duh. And once again, don’t make this a goal.
  34. Save a favorite childhood toy – can I save adult toys? (Girls! Go do your homework!)
  35. Eat caviar – Yes and I ate it like Tom Hanks in “Big”.
  36. Piece a quilt – I did piece together an afghan that I knit, like a quilt afghan not the Taliban.
  37. Stand in Times Square – Yep.
  38. Be fired from a job –- Strangely enough, that’s only happened once and they called it “laying off”.
  39. Break a bone – check… one elbow, one leg not at the same time.
  40. Have your picture in the paper – check
  41. Visit the White House – check.
  42. Have chickenpox — yes, that was quite an accomplishment in my youth
  43. Join a book club — and then made a fool of myself by picking “Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas” for the group to read. Don’t read that book it is complete treacly melodramatic shite.
  44. Lose a loved one — I’m assuming this means have someone you love die, not just lose them in a mall. Either way, I’ve done both of those.
  45. Have a baby –check twice.
  46. Save someone’s life — I think I’ve done this. A couple of years ago during a heat wave (100-105ish), I checked on my elderly neighbor Darlene and she was walking but not responsive, she couldn’t see or hear me and I was in her face yelling her name. Had to call 911 and she never came back to that house. She is still alive but living in an assisted living facility.
  47. Be involved in a lawsuit – I am involved in a class action suit right now!  It’s somebody against Netflix and I’m in line to get a cash settlement. My ship has come in!!!
  48. Own a cell phone — Grudgingly.
  49. Be stung by a bee — Check, again why is this necessary before I die? Doing this could kill some people, which I suppose brings us full circle.
  50. Read an entire book in one day — Check.

There. My work on this list is done. I have no idea why #38 hasn’t happened many times, what with my work ethic and all.

I am just like Mrs. HuWhiggins


19 thoughts on “And Now, the List You Have All Been Waiting For!

    1. I’m telling you Lauren stick with me and you will avoid many surprises in your future, at least bad ones. Oooo, I have an ecard pic to send you. I’ll go see if you have an email address up.

    1. Right?! I cannot figure out this list at all. 100 things to do before you die, get food poisoning, break a limb and be stung by a bee…overdraw your checking account…whaaa??? hahaha

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