No Blogging At My House

Months ago, I found a list online of 100 things you (or me or anyone) should do before dying. I have  mentioned my fondness for completing forms, check lists, questionnaires, surveys….I love to let the world know how I feel or what I think. This list allows me to tell you, my 15s of readers, what I would like to do, have done, or will never do.

I was going to start with all the things I have done on the list, but I have done over half of them and it’s taking some work to get it organized into a readable, entertaining  post. I am well aware that there is a very real chance that I will be the only one to find this interesting so I know I have to work hard on it. I was going to work on it last night but there was mayhem and chaos and dogs at my house.

My sister Katie is visiting for a couple of days to get her spring clothes, her Dyson vacuum cleaner and some pictures to take back down to Denver with her. She brought her dogs Fred and Finn with her. So at my house right now there is:





There are a lot of dogs

Also at my house is my nephew, my girls, my sisters and a cat. My house is around 2400 sf so right now it’s not a healthy blogging place for me. I was also bugging Sister Katie by looking at my computer too much.

I am going to start with the items on the list that I haven’t done but could conceivably do or would be willing to do. It’s an easier list.

100 Things To Do That Make Life Exciting, Fulfilling
or Better Than the Lives of People Who Haven’t Done These Things.
The “I Could Totally Do That” Edition
  1. Hold a praying mantis – wha? No, I haven’t held a praying mantis and why is this such a mind-boggling activity that it goes in a Top 100 list? I could totally hold a praying mantis.
  2. Adopt a child — My kids are teenagers. I don’t want more children but push comes to shove? I could totally adopt a child.
  3. Hitchhike — I don’t want to but I totally could, I have thumbs.
  4. Build a snow fort – I honestly don’t know if I have or not. I totally could if I lived somewhere that had that much snow and I was forced to go out and play in it OR if I were inexplicably trapped on a snowy mountain and had to build a snow fort (snow cave) to survive. The chances of me being trapped on a snowy mountain are pretty slim.
  5. Hold a lamb – I would TOTALLY do this! And a baby pig, I would totally hold a piglet.
  6. See an Amish community – I could totally do this if I knew where there was one in Oregon. I looked it up. There is an Amish community in McMinnville which isn’t far from Portland. There were 35 members in 1955 and no data since then.
  7. See the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person – Note: I think whoever created this list could have omitted the “in person”. Doesn’t it go without saying? Seeing these things in a Google search wouldn’t be that impressive. That being said, if I were in Italy, I would totally be open to visiting Pisa.
  8. See Michelangelo’s David – Note: There is a lack of consistency here, this item doesn’t say if I need to see the David in person or not. Once again, if I am ever in Italy, I would totally go to see the David.
  9. Sing Karaoke –  I don’t think I have and you totally don’t want me to. (But it still could happen).
  10. See Old Faithful geyser erupt– I could totally do this if I knew where to find Old Faithful. I looked it up, it’s in Wyoming. I’ve been to Wyoming but I don’t recall seeing Old Faithful.
  11. Buy a stranger a meal at a restaurant — I could do this, I have a debit card. This totally reminds me of the distress I experience when I see old men eating alone in restaurants or when I am alone in a restaurant.
  12. See the Sistine Chapel in person — There seems to be an Italian tourism theme going on here: potrei farlo di sicuro!
  13. Be in a movie— be in a movie with Ryan Gosling, I could totally do that. Ryan…call me.
  14. Visit the Great Wall of China – unless this can be a restaurant, I totally doubt I’m doing it.
  15. Take a martial arts class — Meh. I totally could but I totally wouldn’t.
  16. Visit Russia – I haven’t but I Полностью would!
  17. Serve at a soup kitchen — I volunteer with hunger related charities but totally haven’t done this yet.
  18. Go whale watching —  I think my attitude toward whale watching is similar to my martial arts attitude. Watching whales doing martial arts…I would totally do that.
  19. Visit a Nazi concentration camp — I haven’t but I would.
  20. Visit the Lincoln Memorial — I’ve seen it but haven’t walked up the stairs. I would totally love to go back to DC.
  21. Tour the Everglades — I could but I totally don’t want a ‘gator to get me. I could but I probably won’t.
  22. See the changing of the Guards  in London – It’s Changing the Guard in London as opposed to seeing the Changing the Guard in Topeka. I would totally love to do this and going to London is a priority so I can see this happening.
  23. See the Grand Canyon in person — Totally happy to do this in person because I’ve already seen the pictures. How to improve this item? “See the Grand Canyon from the back of burro”…that would be more of a bucket list activity.
  24. Publish a book — I would Totally do this if you guys will read it.
  25. Visit the Vatican — This would be totally Catholic of me. I’m not a big fan of the Pope but having been to the Cardinal’s mass at St. Patrick’s in NYC, I gotta say we Catholics have a way with ceremony pomp circumstance incense etc.
  26. Buy a brand new car – It could happen but it’s totally not worth it.
  27. Walk in Jerusalem — Would love to but totally wary of the Middle East.
  28. Read the entire Bible — I tried this once and I made it to Leviticus (chapter 4, Jackson 5).
  29. Sit on a jury — I have totally tried to do this but they never pick me. I go and sit in the room and they. never. pick. me.
  30. Meet someone famous — This will be totally easy when I’m doing the movie with Ryan Gosling.
  31. See the Alamo in person — This a totally demanding list making us do this stuff in person.
  32. Swim in the Great Salt Lake — It doesn’t say if I have to do this in person. I would prefer to not do not do it person.

19 thoughts on “No Blogging At My House

  1. I would be happy to do ANY of these things if Ryan Gosling were involved. Particularly if it involved him shirtless.
    And four dogs? A paltry FOUR dogs. Come out to my place if you want to see true canine chaos. You haven’t lived until you’ve partied with the Dancing Star Dogs. Put that on your list!

  2. was there a time during this where you thought “I am going to keep saying ‘totally’ because I started it and I finish what I start, dammit!”

  3. I think that would pigeonhole me in to only blogging about things in my capacity as an asshole brother. I suppose I could do some just general asshole stuff, but I would probably have to at least mention that I was someone’s brother. Not really one to be pigeonholed, even as a euphemism.

  4. Okay, a few comments:

    11. Do for a man or woman in uniform. My wife and I often pay for a service man or woman anonymously by getting their waitress and handling the bill.

    21. Tour the Everglades is not that hard. Just drive Alligator Alley from the East side of Florida to the West side. It’s a pretty straight shot and if you see any gators, you’re moving really fast so they won’t get ya’.

    27. We walked all over Jerusalem and surrounding areas just last year. All sides agree on one thing and that’s to keep the tourists happy. We never felt anything the least bit threatening. Not like some American cities we have toured.


    32. If you do 27, you can swim in the Dead Sea which is just like swimming in the Great Salt Lake.


  5. I am totally doing the the pay for a service man/woman/soldier/tinker/tailor! Great idea! I would prefer the Dead Sea to the Great Salt Lake, no offense Utah. Thank you Harper and my condolences on the anniversary of the loss of your friend.

  6. Have done #9 (embarrassing but fun), #11– worth it, helped a stranger out who needed it, #15 – tae kwan do (I’m sure that’s not spelled correctly) and got tired of this guy from Germany with weird feet kicking me and gave up before getting a yellow belt, #18 — in Nantucket and was very cool, and #13 and #30 — showed up as an extra in the movie 21 Grams, but the scene was cut. Saw Naomi Watts, Sean Penn and some other actors — they look smaller in person. The holding the praying mantis thing — hmm, probably way down on my list. :).

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