In the Nudes

I wasn’t going to blog today but I felt this was an important story to share.

This just happened, just now I was sitting at my desk at work eating lunch and catching up on the news. I read Supreme Court/Obamacare news and then hit the real news….

Lindsay Lohan is off felony probation and is going to Canada to play Elizabeth Taylor in a “biopic”. That’s ridiculous and I am offended at that casting for Liz and all of her descendants, friends and loved ones. I heart Elizabeth Taylor.

I went from that story to a blurb about Jenny what is her name? Jenny Garth is getting divorced. I never watched 90210 but I know that show is why she is “famous” . She was “resistant” to divorcing her husband who I have never heard of before but from my reading I have learned that he is in the Twilight movies. Ms. Garth told People magazine that she really wished her husband “had wanted to try harder, try again, try something else.” I’m divorced and it is tough and marriage is hard work but really? Fingerpointing in People magazine, I hope your three young children enjoy that. Well played!

Scrolling through the news feed, I found the big story, the hard news….

Australian Museum Holding Naked Art Tours

This is the nudes news I was looking for. I read the article and learned that there is a museum in Australia (and it’s not the first museum to do this)that is offering tours of exhibits to naked people. People who feel that art more deeply penetrates them if they do not wear clothes to look at it.  I hope the art is well hung for the naked to appreciate it. I wonder what sort of endowment this museum has?

Too easy? I hear you.

I have some concerns about participating in a naked art tour. Just to be clear, this is for naked people to look at art NOT for clothed people to look at naked art.

The rules include: shoes must be worn and no lewd acts are acceptable.

I understand the shoes, it’s one thing to walk through a museum buck-ass naked butt for God’s sake keep your ugly, stinking feet shod! What if someone has a blister or a bunion? Do naked art patrons need to be confronted with that sort of abomination?! Sensibility issues aside, what if a shoe-wearing naked patron needs to tie that shoe? I believe possible shoe tying reveals a crack in the theory that shoe wearing is preferable.

As for the lewd acts…. Lewd Acts is a band from San Diego, as well as “inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious. obscene or indecent”. What if a patron is accidentally lewd when viewing a particularly arousing work of art? And doesn’t indecent exposure mean to be naked in public? There is probably a stiff penalty for a lewd act on a naked art tour.

What do you think of this story? Are you stimulated at the thought of naked art touring?

Please note: shoes MUST be worn!