Lounging and Napping

Before I start, this is not the post I was planning on but something had to be done to correct a little domestic injustice that occurred this morning.

Many years ago when my daughter Brigid was 2 or 3, we were driving in the car probably doing errands because that is what I did as a housewife when the older child was in preschool. Brigid’s voice piped up from the back seat, “Mom, when I grow up, I want to be like you.” Awww, I’m thinking she wants to have a little girl of her own and take care of her and they will be pals like we are. Then she said, “So I can drink wine, too.” Great.

My girls used to look like this:

Now they look like this:

This morning I drove Annie to high school and on the way there, she said, “I wish I were Aunt Molly.” Aunt Molly is my sister who is living with us and mother of Stevie Wonder, the Garbage Toddler (more on that later). Molly is living away from her husband for a few months, working with contractors on finishing their new house up here, living in my guest room with Stevie and Bobo the Bulldog, taking care of said 4-year-old, trying to find a new preschool for him, carting my kids around when needed, and usually cooking dinner for at least a few of us. When I mentioned this conversation to Molly this morning, she thought perhaps Annie was inspired  to be like her because Molly is deeply involved in animal rescue, English Bulldogs in particular.

But no, Annie wants to be like Aunt Molly because Molly doesn’t have a job so she can “lounge around and nap all day.”

Oh oh, she said WHAT??? I snapped asked, “you don’t think she does that all day do you?” “No, but she could.” No, NO she couldn’t, she has a 4-year-old, a 4-year-old BOY, who is my most favorite boy ever and the best boy on the planet but he’s not just sitting quietly all day while Mom lounges.

This is not how Matt looks all day but you gotta love this picture:

So in the interest of setting the record straight, I asked Molly what she did this morning. I received this reply at 12:08 p.m.

Well granted this particular morning has not been my most productive because I had the nerve to 1) sleep until 7:30 to make up for the 60+ minutes I spent dealing with a giggling toddler and a farting dog at 3 am this morning and 2) take a shower AND dry my hair, but:
I fed both dogs, gave Bobo his flea medicine, made breakfast for Matt, put the sleeper sofa back together, tidied our room, cleaned up Mudd’s puke, helped Matt get dressed and find his shoes, collected our laundry and put it in the hamper, took a call from Trisha, ran interference between my husband and our home builder, arranged a tour/visit with a preschool, triumphantly matched another pair of socks from the basket, and put a cookie sheet away. AND showered!
I took Stevie Wonder to Kids Kluvhouse (Stevie Wonder calls it that just so you don’t think she’s trying to lounge and type at the same time and messed up the spelling of Klubhouse) so he could actually play with some kids, and now I’m going to do another indulgent extravagant activity and go buy myself a rain coat and eat some food ALONE, before I go clean the kitchen and run a load of laundry. I would walk Bobo but it’s pouring.

So, that is Molly on a not very productive morning. I will give it to Annie that she is 14 and doesn’t realize how much work not “working” is. I didn’t work for years and now that I have a job, I realize this is waaaayyy easier than staying home.

Molly loves a preschool project of Brigid’s that I have tacked up on the wall in the laundry room. Brigid drew a picture and answered some questions about her mom. These two Questions and Answers sum up the impression kids have of the stay-at- home Mom and someday Stevie will make one of these for Molly and she will love it and save it for years in her laundry room. Some of the Q&A goes like this:

Q: Where does your Mom like to go? A: Nowhere. She doesn’t go anywhere.

Q: What is your Mom’s job? A: The laundry.

And so it goes.

I think Giggling Toddler and Farting Dog would be a good name for a band.

8 replies to “Lounging and Napping

  1. While I was doing that load of laundry, I (of course) re-read B’s profile of you. For starters, I like that she has you down as “30” at the time. I’m “30” too!

    Also under “What my mom wants for Christmas is:” it says, “she wishes she would have us to clean-up.”

    Oh and the exact words of that other line, “If my mom could go anywhere she would go: “Nowhere – because she doesn’t like to go anywhere.” Kills.Me.Every.TIME.

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