Tuck and Roll

Last night Deren the Coordinated and I went out to dinner at the Blue Moon in Northwest Portland. I had a couple of glasses of wine and a Communication Breakdown Burger and fries and some of Deren’s fries. I’ve lost 10 lbs. I must reward myself.

Portland had a touch of spring weather yesterday and while the night was not balmy, it was clear and not frigid. Deren and I were enjoying a nice after dinner stroll back to his car down 21st Avenue. Not surprisingly, I made a smart remark about something. In response, Deren gave me one of those sideways kicks to the back of my calves/knees. Just to show him I wasn’t taking that sort of attack laying down, I gave him one of those kicks back!

First of all, the kick attempt probably looked like Elaine dancing.

Secondly, according to Deren, he looked over and I was gone. I had effectively taken myself down. I was on the sidewalk. I completely wiped out. I haven’t fall in at least 20 years. I can see what the future looks like and it looks like an old version of Maggie with a broken hip. I skinned my right knee but happily didn’t tear my jeans, I scratched my right hand and my right shoulder is really sore.

I told one of my coworkers about it and she laughed and said, “That’s good but not as good as when you got stuck in the shirt.”

So I have gone from “Hello Hotness” to middle aged woman flat out on the sidewalk on one of the hipper streets in Portland.

My friend Kitty has informed me that she is having trouble leaving a comment for my blog. I think I have the settings fixed so please comment to test it. Just gibberish or your own falling down story will do. I want to make sure I have the comment section set right because I know it can’t possibly be that Kitty just can’t figure out how to do it.

Also, please stay tuned for the introduction of Stevie Wonder, Garbage Toddler. You don’t want to miss this!

12 thoughts on “Tuck and Roll

  1. LOL!

    Now may I ask you — in this restaurant somewhere you can get to from downtown by mass transit? I’m visiting (in six months, ha) and I’m always looking for cool new things to try. I love Portland. Thanks for helping to keep Portland weird. 😛

  2. Cheryl Hansen

    Where are those wacky YouTube videographers when we really want one? Seriously it should have taken a LOT more wine.

    1. Right? People who know me know I could have done much more damage to my liver before doing that much damage to my right side. Happily I’m so old I no longer get embarrassed.

    1. I forgot the part where I got myself upright after shooing Deren away from me and then started laughing and almost had a fluttering bladder episode.

      Thanks for reading KITTY!

  3. Patti

    Did I ever tell you about the time I fell down the stairs in one of the Million Dollar “Street of Dreams” homes, in front of many people, nearly pantsing Derrin in the processes. I have yet to return….oh, that was also the year that my photo (modeling with a vacuum) was in the Street of Dream catalog. Yes, people could flip through the book and pick out the lady that fell down the stairs! I will never borrow shoes from my big sister again!

    1. Nope, never heard that one. Hahahahaha. I’m glad to know that someone as lithe and beautiful as you are can completely ass out, too. You almost pantsed your Derrin, I love that. Deren/errins are the best.

  4. Could have been worse, I fell down the stairs a few months back. Carrying our baby. Don’t worry she helped break my fall and the doctors say her back brace should come off in a few weeks. Kidding I didn’t let her get hurt but did have to patch some sheetrock after my knee busted into the wall.

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